Lost Effect
by Iyrsiiea
Summary: One minute I was home. Safe, secure, happy. The next, I was in another dimension where my life is perpetually at risk and everything could be riding on what I know. I am very, very lost. SI.
1. Chapter 1

**July 3****rd****, 2013**

**Sol System, Earth**

**22:50 PST**

_Man I'm sweaty. How is it still so hot at this time of night?_

It was a really warm summer evening and I was walking home after class. A few people gave me odd looks for walking at this time of night with a school backpack, but college had a nice benefit of being able to occasionally choose your own class times and I had always been a night owl. Feeling like I'd been walking in the rain for the past 40 minutes, I turned the corner of the block and set my sights on home. Mom and Jimmy's cars were still there, which I thought was odd since they had said they were going to a movie, but I assumed they had caught a ride with one of their friends. In short order I was inside my nice, air-conditioned house. It had been less than a year since we moved in, but the spacious three bedroom house felt like it had always been home. Stepping into my room and taking off my backpack, I turned on the light and saw that if I had chosen to step farther left I would have accidentally stomped on my cat, who was lazily staring at me from the floor.

"Oh wow, I almost stepped on you Thessie! I'm sorry."

Thessaly merely blinked at me and rolled onto her back, exposing her belly. After removing my boots and backpack, I pet my cat and then flopped ungracefully into my desk chair. A brief look about my room revealed that everything was just as I had left it: bed unmade, books inelegantly shoved into the bookshelf and the desk dominated by electronics on one side and nick-knacks on the other.

I thought about what to do with the rest of my night. I could browse my favorite forums, watch YouTube videos, listen to music, read fanfiction…

_I haven't played Mass Effect in a while…_

The ending of Mass Effect had left me stunned, angry and disappointed, much like everyone else, and had curbed my desire to play it again for nearly a year. Earlier this year I had done another quick playthrough, but that had been months ago. I loved the Mass Effect universe greatly and knew a good deal about it, more so than most I suspected. I had an excellent memory for information, though if that was due to my mother or my condition I didn't know. I could quote the Codex entry for omni-tools word for word. I considered turning on my Xbox 360 and starting up a new Mass Effect game, but the thought passed quickly. I had very little mental energy left after three hours of Trigonometry.

I suddenly felt very tired, which was odd because I often stayed up until 4 AM. Going to bed at 10 was just weird, but I was strangely exhausted.

_Maybe walking in that heat made me more tired than usual?_

Deciding it would be too difficult to stay awake long enough to go to bed when I usually do, I crawled into bed still fully clothed and quickly went into the land of sleep.

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I don't often dream, but when I do it is noticeably a dream. It feels flat, two-dimensional, unreal.

This was oddly _vivid_.

The world around me was dark and cold. It felt like there was a breeze, but rather than air masses moving I could swear it was _shadows_ dancing across my skin. The air smelt like sandal wood.

This place made me simultaneously afraid and curious. Ever overly-cautious, I chose to act on my fear. I reached within myself for my 'panic button', my mental defense I had developed in my dreams to escape nightmares. Whenever I 'pushed' the 'button', my dream changed for the better. I would be in a different place, be in a different situation, or be a different person.

It didn't work.

_This feels so _real_! What is this? Why can't I get out?!_

Suddenly there was a voice from behind me. "She'll do."

I turned around. There was a tall, bone-white man clad all in black whose eyes resembled stars standing there. Next to him was a girl who appeared fourteen, but her hair and clothing changed rapidly and with no discernible pattern. One of her eyes was a bright blue, the other a poisonous green.

The girl spoke, with a voice that constantly changed tone and volume, "Oh, she'll more than do. She'll run and hide and fight and know and see and scream and kill and make and live. So much_ fun_!"

My brain exploded with questions but in that moment all I could do was stand there and stare.

"You." This was directed at me. _Oh dear._ "My sister Death was going to come for you, but we think we can put you to better use."

_Sister Death?_ I suddenly had a sinking suspicion as to who these two were, but if it were true then I was in an _unimaginable_ amount of shit.

My voice finally got itself unstuck. "What kind of better use?"

The girl, I refused to think about who she probably was, responded. "The excitingly_ bad_ kind! We're going to send you far far away where you'll never see your family or friends ever again and be in constant danger and completely alone and scared and have to do horrible things and we get to watch! It's going to be very sad and great!"

_Oh no, this is not good this is bad so very bad. _I couldn't help the slight quiver in my voice. "I-I'd really rather not."

The black haired man's tone was unyielding. "You have no say in this."

"Please, is there any way I can convince you- I-I... please send me home."

The tall, pale man, who had looked impassive and emotionless this whole time, tilted his head to one side and a look I couldn't understand passed over his face. "Perhaps, when your task is complete, you can find another way back."

Before I was able to feel relieved at this, a tingling sensation spread over my skin and a strange light started creeping up on the corners of my vision.

_"_Aww, it's time for her to go! Have fun and look out for flying fish!"

Before I lost consciousness, my last thought was: _Oh fuck._

**July 3****rd****, 2180**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

**01:10 OST**

I woke with the tingling feeling in my brain I had come to associate with an oncoming headache.

I did not come slowly to an aware state, as was my norm. Rather, it came crashing down on me, and I instantly knew that I was not on my bed, and if that strange dream/vision/meeting was real there was a possibility of not being in my house, in California or even being on _planet Earth_ anymore.

I laid perfectly still and did not open my eyes, instead taking stock of my other senses. I was laying on something hard and cold, quite possibly the ground. It felt smooth, almost metallic. I heard what sounded like lots of fast moving machines off in the distance and voices echoing from the other direction, but not near enough to worry. Wherever I was smelt _awful_, like I was near a garbage dump that had been sitting in 110 degree heat. Deciding it was safe enough, I opened my eyes.

I was not sure what I was expecting, but it was not that.

I could not see a ceiling.

Above me there were what looked like pipes, walkways and wires crisscrossing through the emptiness, but I could not see either the sky or a ceiling. There were strange glowing lights and suddenly something moving very fast darted past my line of sight.

I tried to actively listen to the voices in the distance and understand them. I _couldn't_. I couldn't even recognize the _languages_.

My breathing stared to feel heavier and faster.

I turned my head towards the noise of the machines.

The ground I was laying on ended a few armlengths away and all I could see after that was a void. In that void, there were flying vehicles going by at a speed my eyes couldn't follow. And beyond the lines of flying cars was a giant wall of supports, catwalks and what were obviously buildings with huge blinking, flashing and glowing banners that _moved_ with _asari_ and _krogan_ on them in languages I couldn't read advertizing _omni-tools_ and _hover cars_ and-

_Oh fuck me I'm in Mass Effect._

**AN: It's been a while since I've written a fanfic, and the first time writing for Mass Effect. I read a lot of SI's and I thought it might be fun. Update rates will be sporadic, but I would be more incentivized to work if I got good reviews…**

**Cookies go to people who can guess who the two in my dream/vision thingy were and what my condition is.**


	2. Chapter 2

**July 3****rd****, 2180**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

**01:13 OST**

_Get a hold of yourself, Shawna. Calm down before you hyperventilate. _

I had started shaking uncontrollably, and my vision blurred. The calm, analytical part of my mind knew I was going into shock and that I needed to regain control before I passed out, but the rest of my brain was a little preoccupied with the fact that I had either gone insane and started hallucinating or I was in a different universe. I hadn't always been all that mentally stable, but this was something else. Some people would have been happy, ecstatic even, to find themselves in one of their favorite fictional worlds. All I could feel was shock.

_Shit shit shit. Okay. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. In. Out. In. Out._

After a few moments of that, I felt the shaking stop. I mentally went over the situation in my head. I was probably in the Mass Effect universe. I was sent here by what were possibly two of the Endless. I couldn't go home until an unspecified task was completed. I wasn't sure where I was exactly, but judging from my surroundings Omega was likely. I was currently alone. I was wearing what felt like the clothes I had gone to sleep in. I couldn't see or feel anything else of mine here. I didn't have shoes.

I then thought about what I needed to do. Scratch that, what did I want to do?

_Well, I want to go home. But from the sound of it, that's not happening anytime soon._

A wave of sadness washed over me. I wasn't going to see my family again. Mom, Jimmy, 'Stasia. My boyfriend. My cat. They probably think I'm dead. A pain built up in my chest. I was surprised how much it _hurt_, thinking about how I would probably never see home again. I'd sometimes worry about Mom not coming home one day, or my cat getting hit by a car. Jimmy always told me I slightly paranoid. But in my imagining I didn't anticipate this level of pain. Maybe it was because it was real this time.

_Stop it. Move on, there's nothing you can do. If you want to see them again, you need to finish this 'task'. You can't do that if you're moping on the floor._

With a deep breath, I shoved all thoughts of my family to the back of my head. I needed to think about what I needed to do right now. First off, I needed to blend in. If anyone found out where I was from I'd be in some government holding cell, or worse, before I knew it. Secondly, I needed information. Where and _when_ was I in relation to the events of Mass Effect? Suddenly, another thought came to me.

_Oh gods above, the Reapers are real! The giant, civilization-destroying, mind-controlling, _millions of years old death machines _are _real_. And they're probably coming _soon_!_

And there was the fear, shivering down my spine like a parasite. The inescapable knowledge that this cycle was living on borrowed time, and that I was currently _living in it_, paralyzed me.

In the commonly accepted 'cannon', Shepard defeated the Reapers. True, it was through a shitty Deus-Ex Machina, but defeat them he or she did. But before he-she-_they_ could there was an unthinkably high body count. Entire planets burned, billions dead.

_Maybe that's my 'task'. To reduce the deaths. The man in my vision, who I'm fairly certain was Dream, never said what it was. He also said that he and Delirium would be watching me. Maybe they'll contact me somehow later?_

Saving people from the coming hell would probably not be easy or simple, but I could try. My best bet would be to use my knowledge of the game but as the growing pounding in my head reminded me, this was no longer a game. I suspected that most of the base timeline was probably true, but with reality comes a host of variables that I could not account for. Also came the concern that I could end up changing too much, and lose what little advantage I had.

But all these hypotheticals were thinking too far ahead: I needed to get some information and set myself up as a native inhabitant of this universe before I could start going about saving people from space cuttlefish.

I finally got up from the space on the ground I had inhabited for a good ten minutes and took a closer look at my nearby surroundings.

I was in what looked like a small back alley. True to my nose, there was a large container nearby that held what was obviously garbage at the end of the 'alley'. One side was bordered by a deep drop-off with a flimsy guardrail on my left, a graffiti-covered metallic wall on the right. The end opposite the garbage dumpster turned right. The voices I heard came from that direction, so I assumed it went to a more populated area.

My metal checklist of things to do, in order of immediacy, was to acquire a translator of some kind, figure out exactly where I was and what year it was, get my hands on something to defend myself with, find a base of operations and get a steady source of income. I briefly added to find new, or at least inconspicuous, clothing and to learn more about the area as high-priority.

I still wasn't sure how to go about doing those things. On one hand, most of those could probably be accomplished by seeking out people. On the other hand, my clothing was very conspicuous as I doubted that people in the 22nd century wore t-shirts and jeans. Even then I would have trouble talking to them without a translator, and I had difficulties with communication even when we spoke the same language.

_Oh god it's going to be even worse now with radically different physiologies and cultures thrown in! And I had a hard enough time reading _human _faces! Why in the hell did Dream and Delirium pick _me_?_

I was hesitant to leave the alley, and instead decided to investigate the garbage dumpster. It was slightly bigger than an Earth dumpster, though its contents were no less disgusting. There was a good deal of rotting food inside, accompanied by bottles, cans, discarded plastic wrap, and other detritus. I cautiously shifted aside some of the garbage to look underneath, but all I saw was more smelly garbage that made bile rise in my throat.

I was about to give up when I saw a bit of strange brown fabric poking out of the junk. I grabbed it and pulled out a coat. It was a full-length coat that would reach my calves at least, and had long sleeves. The material it was made out of was bizarre; it was a dark brown color and felt almost like plastic but was as soft and flexible as cloth. The reason it had been thrown out was evidenced by the many holes and tears, though it didn't seem completely unwearable. I turned it around to look it over. It had some spots of food still on it, which I wiped away with the hem of my shirt. It had a number of pockets, large and small, on both the outside and inside.

_Well, this'll work. It'll cover my clothes at least._

I put the coat on and buttoned it up. It sat oddly on my shoulders, like it wasn't made with human body shapes in mind, and was rather baggy on me, but it would serve for my purposes. My strange attire was completely hidden, and I probably looked like a native homeless person. I idly remembered that I didn't have my boots.

_I need shoes, too._

Then, something I had completely forgotten about suddenly smacked me in the face: my glasses. From what I could remember, most if not all human babies were genetically altered before birth to correct things like near-sightedness. They probably didn't even make glasses anymore. How the hell would I explain my glasses?

The only solution I could think of was to not have glasses. I experimentally took them off.

The world suddenly got much fuzzier, but I could probably still function enough like this. I wouldn't be reading anything or spotting details, but I could walk without hitting anything and look someone in the eye if they were close enough. I put my glasses in one of the interior pockets of my new coat.

_I'm adding that to the list: find more permanent solution to glasses problem._

Next on said list was a translation device.

I moved to the entrance of the alley and peered around the corner. I couldn't be sure, due to my poor vision, but it looked like the alley stretched on for a bit with one or two more branch-offs, before opening out in front of what looked like a busy store. I could see what I thought was a krogan, an asari and what might have been a few batarians chatting, in at least three different languages, before passing small objects between each other. The batarians left, and the asari put the objects she'd received somewhere underneath the counter she was behind.

_Definitely a store._

A sudden surreal feeling swept over me.

Aliens. Those were honest-to-god _aliens_. Shopping.

_Don't think about it Shawna. You need to get a move on._

Instead of heading out to the open street, I took a left turn at one of the other alleyways. This one went on straight for a while before coming out in a slightly wider alley. They were thankfully devoid of people, but I saw more garbage bins, broken glass and twice a splatter of liquid that, although not red, seemed very much like blood. I turned down a couple other alleys, always keeping track of the way back to where I first was, before I finally found something. I almost immediately wished I hadn't.

There was what looked like a person lying against the wall at the end of this alley. I couldn't identify a species from the distance, but it wasn't moving. I turned and looked at the other end, but I didn't see anything.

Looking at the person again, I knew I at least need to check and see if it was alive.

Tentatively, I walked up to the person. About three feet away from them, I was finally able to see that it was a human male. I could smell excrement. I couldn't see his chest move. I avoided his open, glassy eyes and inched closer to put my fingers on his neck, about where I knew I should have felt a pulse.

There was nothing.

This guy was dead.

I wasn't sure how to feel. I'd never seen a body before. A part of me was sad that this person had lost their life, especially since he seemed young, maybe in his early twenties. But another part of me was apathetic. I didn't know this guy. I had no real reason to mourn him.

_All life has value_, I reminded myself. _This guy had a mother and father. Possibly siblings, friends, a significant other… he had a life. And now he doesn't. That is reason enough to mourn._

I looked him over for a cause of death. After a moment, I noticed what looked like a gunshot wound in his chest. From the lack of blood on the ground, I figured the bullet hit something vital and killed him instantly, stopping his heart and keeping it from pumping out more blood.

_At least it was probably quick._

A sort of morbid curiosity took over and I looked closer at him. He was wearing clothing similar to what I remember some of the guys on Omega wearing: a dark brown tank top, reddish brown vest, cargo pants, fingerless gloves and boots. The bullet had torn a small hole in the top and there was a bit of blood but they were otherwise in good shape. He had a youthful, narrow face and hazel eyes similar to my own. His hair was short and curly, a soft brown color. He looked thin, emaciated, like he hadn't had enough to eat for a while.

As I shifted to look at him from a different angle, I spotted an odd looking device curved over the back of his ear. I was suddenly alert and excited.

_Could it be…?_

I started to reach for it, but stopped and glanced guiltily at the boy's face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the corpse, "I hope you don't hate me for this and wherever you are is better than here, but you don't need this anymore and I do."

The corpse, naturally, didn't respond.

_I suppose that's a good sign for my mental health._

I gingerly removed the strange ear piece. It appeared to loop behind the ear to position a small speaker near the ear canal. It reminded me a little of a Bluetooth. I couldn't see any buttons or lights, so I wiped it off thoroughly on my shirt and put it in.

Suddenly, the echoing voices from the street beyond the alleys were comprehendible.

"Oh, please, the filthy bastard wouldn't-"

"-show those damn humans-"

"That'll be 24 credits-"

I sighed in relief. That was one problem solved.

I looked at the boy again. _Perhaps there's more he could help me with…_

Feeling like I was doing something despicable, which I kinda was, I carefully searched his pockets, but found nothing. I then peeled off his clothing, thankful that he had either died too soon or too long ago to be in rigor mortis. I left his underwear, which was ruined anyways, and took another look behind me before removing my own and putting his on.

As gross and possibly morally reprehensible as it was, I was glad to have boots again.

I tucked my clothes into my coat, planning to dump them in a garbage can, had a moment of silence for the guy who had helped me so much, and left for the place I had first arrived at, feeling both slightly better and slightly worse.

**AN: Thanks to my two awesome reviewers, knowing you two were looking for more helped me work at this. Much, much longer chapter, which I'm happy about.**

**I only have a rough plan as to where to go with this, but know that I am intending on going through ME 1,2 and 3.**

**Reviews make me work. So review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**July 3****rd****, 2180**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

**01:49 OST**

I found the nearest waste bin and put my old clothes in it, obscuring them with garbage, and then leaned up against a wall. I was uncertain as to what my next move should be. Getting information was the next-highest thing on my list, but I was still very reluctant to actually talk to someone. I wiggled my toes in my ill-begotten boots idly. I supposed I'd have to do it eventually, so I mustered up my courage and headed back towards the place I appeared in. Maybe that asari I saw at the store would be kind enough to answer.

I wandered back the way I came, but I lost track and briefly became lost in the maze of dark alleyways. I couldn't recognize the graffiti here or the particular shape of the intersection I had stopped at. I felt panic creeping up on me, but quickly capped it and pushed it down. If I couldn't get back to where I was, I would just have to follow the sound of voices.

I located a group of people in a main alley nearby, but as I got close enough to understand what they were saying I stopped myself from walking out into their view.

"Now, you're gonna give us everything you have or my friend is going to shoot you, understand?" The voice that was speaking had a strange extra tone to it. Sub-harmonics. A turian, then.

"I-I-I don't have anything, I swear!" I couldn't really tell with that one, but it sounded male.

"The damn pyjak is lying, I saw him buy something!" The deep baritone of the other mugger was unmistakably a krogan.

"_I'm not lying_! Please, just leave me alone!"

I was sorely tempted to turn and walk away, but something stopped me. There was logically no way I could help this person, I had no weapon, no armor, no backup, but I didn't want to just leave. I was also rather curious. I had lived a slightly sheltered life before being teleported to another dimension, and I had never been mugged or seen a mugging before now.

Against my better judgment, and with half my brain screaming that I was going to get myself killed, I poked my head slowly around the corner.

There was indeed a turian and krogan standing a few yards away from me. The turian had green and brown dappled armor that was reminiscent of the human military camo pattern I was familiar with. The krogan wore black and red armor, and had a deep green head crest. The krogan had a shotgun pointed at a quivering salarian, who was a light grey color and was dressed in clothes that seemed of higher quality than mine.

"You're making this worse on yourself, if you'd just give us what we want we'd let you live. But you know how temperamental krogan can be, the longer we're standing here waiting, the more likely he'll just lose his temper and… BOOM."

The salarian flinched at the turian's onomatopoeia.

"_I told you_! I don't have any more credits, I spent them all!"

The krogan growled and pressed the shotgun closer to the salarian's head. "You expect us to believe that, you little shit stain? Give it up or I'm blowing your head off!"

The poor salarian, who was shaking and twitching horribly at this point, suddenly shrieked, "_I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING YOU STUPID BRUTES!"_

There was suddenly an unbelievably loud nose and the salarian's head _wasn't there anymore_. His neck, which was now just a stump, gushed out green blood.

I honestly couldn't help it. I let out a small scream behind my tightly closed lips.

Over two of the longest seconds of my life thus far, as the corpse of the salarian dropped to the ground the turian and krogan turned to look directly at me.

_Fuck fuck fuck shit godmotherfuckingshitdamnit._

I turned and ran.

I am not fit. I walked a mile and a half to get to school twice a week, I can lift a 2.5 gallon bottle of water with a bit of effort, and I'm flexible enough to reach that spot in between my shoulder blades, but that is the extent of my physical capabilities. I couldn't outrun those two on the best of days, and I knew it, but I had to try anyways. My self-preservation instinct demanded it.

I heard a gunshot and felt something small fly past me, just barely missing my legs.

_FUCK!_

I heard another gunshot, this one coming close to my head.

Brain working in overtime, I began running in a zig-zag pattern. The bullets kept coming, some terrifyingly close to hitting me but others going wide. I was coming up on a turn, pushing myself to go faster than I'd ever managed in P.E., when I felt an odd sensation like I was being pulled or pinched somehow on my left shoulder. A heartbeat later my shoulder was nothing but _pain_.

_Oh God, that was a shot, I was shot! Fuck!_

I stumbled, but quickly got back up and kept running. I didn't stop running for a while. Finally, my legs were just about to give out when I saw a garbage dumpster. I hesitated for a second, but the sound of my pursuers just around the corner made me climb in and bury myself to my waist in things I didn't want to think about. I ducked down, pressing my face against a discarded aluminum box, and held my breath.

I heard the heavy steps of the krogan and the lighter feet of the turian run up to the dumper, go past it and turn off in another direction.

I stayed down for three minutes, listening.

The footsteps came back, slower this time like they were walking, and they were speaking.

"Damn human. What the hell was it doing, anyways?"

"I dunno, humans are stupid. Why the hell are they showing up here, on Omega of all places? Why can't they just stay in their space? I swear, it like they think they own the whole damn galaxy!"

"Ya know, I think it was a female. I heard they have longer head fur than the males."

"What does it matter? It's still dumb, poking it's head where it doesn't belong."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I hit its arm. That'll show it what happens when it goes where it's not wanted."

The pair walked past the waste bin, their footsteps and voices growing quieter. Finally, I couldn't hear them anymore. I climbed out of the garbage and fell to the ground, my legs shaking from the effort it took. The adrenalin was beginning to wear off, and my shoulder _burned_. I clamped my right hand against the wound, feeling the wet stickiness of blood. I just laid there for a while, breathing heavily and shaking.

_How on God's green earth did I manage that?! I seriously got away by hiding in a garbage bin?! I just, I don't even…_

…_they killed that guy. Just blew off his head. They probably would have done the same to me without thinking about it. God…_

…_how did I get away? I'm sure they could have outrun me. Maybe they had to slow down to fire at me?_

_Goddamn my shoulder hurts. It hurts worse than the time I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk for days. It _burns_. I should probably look at it._

I sat up and pulled my hand away, a fair amount of blood sticking to it. I'd never seen a gunshot wound before, but I could tell that this was a graze and not an actual bullet hole. There was a long, shallow groove in the flesh of my shoulder. I had bled a fair amount, but it seemed to be slowing down. It didn't look like the bullet had hit anything other than flesh; there was no white bone or anything else. I pressed my hand back down on the wound and laid down again.

_Well, I'm not a doctor, but I think I'll live. If I don't get an infection, which is a possibility. _

…_I think the turian said that this was Omega. I thought so, but it's good to get confirmation. At least this wasn't totally pointless. _

_Omega… I'm in deep shit. Omega's really dangerous. That boy and the salarian can attest to that. Hell, my shoulder's enough proof. I'm in the heart of the lawless Terminus Systems. Fuck, I guess I should be glad I ran into a couple of lazy muggers and not mercenaries, drug dealers or slavers. _

…_Fuck me, this is bad. This is really bad. I'm completely alone. If someone decided they'd like to rob me, kill me, enslave me, or whatever, no one would give a damn. I don't have money. I don't have any weapons. I don't have a family anymore. I don't even have a home._

_I'm lost._

**July 3****rd****, 2180**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

**02:08 OST**

I eventually got up from the ground and started walking in the direction opposite where I'd met the muggers. A brief check on my shoulder showed that it was starting to scab over. I shifted my coat so the wound wasn't immediately visible. I wandered for a while until I finally found myself on an actual street. The area seemed mostly residential, with what appeared to be apartment complexes lining the street. There were people of many different races walking, standing, sitting, leaning and chatting everywhere. I forced myself not to stare; instead I scanned the area for information.

The translation device apparently did not help me read different languages, seeing as I still couldn't understand the signs. It was unfortunate but I couldn't see most of them anyways without my glasses. I noticed that batarians seemed to make up a fourth of the local population. Next up were krogan. There was a good amount of turians too. I saw a dozen asari, and only five salarians. There was a single volus among the crowd. I was the only human present. A few of the passing aliens looked at me, but most just made a face and continued on with their business. A batarian made a gesture at me as he passed. I had no idea what it was, but I was willing to bet it was rude.

I overheard bits of ongoing conversation.

"Can you _believe_ it? He was-"

"-and I told them, 'Hey, maybe we could-'"

"-humans coming here recently, it's like they're invading!"

I withdrew back into the alley and sat down, still looking at the crowd.

Humans appeared to be a rarity on Omega. The way that the muggers and the crowd acted indicated a fair amount of racism too.

_That's just _dandy_._

I knew I wasn't going to get the information I wanted just sitting here, but the thought of stepping out into the crowd of hostile strangers was deeply discomforting.

_I need to do this. Don't be a wimp._

I looked over the bustling crowd again, and noticed that one of the salarians was leaning against the wall and using what looked like a datapad. He was alone, and right across from the alley opening.

_Okay, calm down, deep breaths._

I got up and navigated the stream of people as delicately as I could. I stopped in front of the salarian, who didn't notice me until I waved at him.

He stared at me, then narrowed his eyes. "…yes, human?"

I felt my voice begin to stick in my throat and I tried to force it out, resulting in awkward stammering. "Uhmm, Hi. Sorry to… disturb you, and I know this is an… odd question, but, ahh, what year is it?"

The salarian's face contorted oddly. Obviously what little I had learned about human communication over my nineteen, almost twenty years wasn't going to do me any good here. Eventually, he answered, "2180. Now, if that is all, could you please leave?"

"Thank you", I muttered as I quickly retreated to the alley entrance.

_2180. Three years until the events of Mass Effect, and six until the Reapers invade if everything goes according to cannon._

I found a quiet spot where the people in the street couldn't see me and sat down, head in my hands.

_What in the hell am I going to do for the next three years?_

**AN: Hey. **

**So, I got shot. Lotsa fun.**

**I feel like I'm getting some good momentum with this story, but reviews always help.**

**See ya.**


	4. Chapter 4

**One week later**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

Once, a few years ago, I got so caught up in whatever I was obsessed about at the time that I forgot to eat for almost two days. It didn't bother me all that much, until I decided to drink a soda. Carbonation and stomach acid do _not_ mix. I had curled up on my bed in pain for a few minutes and decided to avoid such a scenario in the future.

I haven't eaten in five days, and the pain was pretty comparable.

The first day I was here was, after being shot at, mostly quiet. I explored the surrounding area a bit more and eavesdropped on the locals. I learned that I was in the Gozu District of Omega, a name that unfortunately didn't ring any bells, and it was considered Blue Suns territory. I made several observations, including that apparently there had been a recent influx of humans arriving on Omega from all over Alliance space. The other races of Omega did not take kindly to what some saw as an intrusion on what had been their station for many, in some cases hundreds, of years.

Eventually, aching and slightly hungry, I approached a shopkeeper and asked if I could work there in the hopes of getting credits and alleviating those two conditions. The male turian who ran the restaurant took one look at me and told me to leave his shop.

After several similar attempts, I learned that he had been rather polite.

A third of the people I approached didn't even let me ask; they just cursed at me and ran me out of their store. The others would skeptically ask if I had any experience in what their store specialized in, and when I said I had none they told me to leave in varying degrees of rudeness and disgust.

After a few hours of rejection I gave up and went back to the alleys, where I found a small, isolated corner and fell asleep.

Day two went similarly: me, people watching and trying to find a job, and everyone else refusing me, one time physically throwing me out. I was very fortunate to meet an elcor who turned me down when I asked for a job, but took pity on me and gave me a bag of some strange baked goods. They were definitely alien cuisine, but they smelled good. I might not have eaten them all so quickly if I knew it would be the only food I'd get for days.

The next three days passed agonizingly slowly. I had been slowly expanding my search for work but it seemed like news of a strange human asking for a job had been passed around because I was pointed, or forced, out nearly the second I came in every time. I was getting hungrier.

On the sixth day I noticed something that terrified me. My shoulder had slowly stopped hurting so much, so I didn't check on it until I started to notice it feeling warm. The wound wasn't healing right, the skin around it was inflamed and the injury itself looked slightly discolored. I had an infection. In retrospect, I should have expected it; I jumped into a garbage bin and had been sleeping in alleyways. I was a little more frantic in my search for work that day, and had also looked for a clinic. I found two in the area, but both demanded payment.

The seventh day I didn't leave my small hidey hole I'd been using as a 'bed'. It was just a hole in the wall behind a large storage box, but no one had found me there yet. I'd heard various crimes committed in the area around me, but they always passed me right by. That day I wasn't particularly glad for it, as it meant I was left alone to my increasingly depressed and morbid thoughts.

I was scared. Deeply, truly scared. Starvation was one of the worst ways to go from what I had heard, and it would be slow. The infection was also very worrisome, but it had a possibility of not being lethal, my immune system might be able to fight it off. Lack of food was a whole other matter. I supposed I was lucky that it wouldn't be dehydration that killed me; oddly enough the Blue Suns provided a public water source, though it might have been quicker.

Today, the eighth day since I woke up here, I swallowed my pride enough to ask for jobs I had refused to consider before: club dancing, 'advertisement', prostitution even. I was rejected for those too.

Gods I was so hungry. I was starting to noticeably lose weight.

Eventually, I just went back to my hole, curled up and waited to die. I gave up. I started considering faster, less painful options when I heard voices coming my way.

"-you should have been there, those Eclipse bitches were screaming bloody murder when we blew that place!"

"Yeah, it sounds like I missed out on a lot of fun. How many did you get?"

"Oh, not much… somewhere around six."

"That's not something to scoff at! I usually only kill like two on raids."

I had been listening in on various races' conversations enough to recognize that the two mercs, probably Blue Suns, were batarians. They were walking past me at a leisurely pace.

"Yeah, but I think something happened to my omni-tool in the firefight. I got shot on my wrist. The armor was enough to protect me, but it must have rattled my 'tool or something because now the damn thing keeps turning off at random times."

The other batarian stopped. "Really? That's some bad luck."

"Seriously, and it glitches and freezes up sometimes too." The speaking batarian stopped as well and sighed, "I'm probably going have to get the damn thing fixed."

"It can be pretty pricy to repair one of those things. You're probably better off buying a new one."

"Hmm. Yeah, I been thinking about an upgrade…"

"You might even be able to convince Tarak it's a 'business expenditure'."

"Ha, like that uptight asshole would ever pay to replace personal equipment. But, I think I've got enough creds saved up to buy a new 'tool."

"…what are ya gonna do with that one?"

"Eh, I'll wipe it and toss it." I had been only half listening to the conversation, but at those words I was all ears.

There was a momentary silence, and then the sound of a small object clattering on the ground.

"Anyways, let's go. I can't wait to get some food."

The two Blue Suns chattered some more as they walked out of the alley. I stayed silent for a few moments, then crawled out of my hiding spot and looked around on the ground. I felt around blindly for a moment until I remembered I still had my glasses and put them back on. I quickly noticed a small, disc-shaped device on the ground and grabbed it, retreating to behind the crate.

It was a thin, circular metal object about an inch in diameter and a quarter of an inch thick. One side looked a bit like a camera, a glass plate with a strange reflective component behind it. The other side looked like flat metal, but was oddly clingy, like Velcro. There were a few odd slots on the sides of the disc, and one small button. I pushed it and suddenly the Velcro side got a lot stronger, sticking to my fingers like superglue. A small, orange hologram popped up with text, but I couldn't read it. The text blinked three times and then the hologram disappeared. I pushed the button again and the clingy side let go of my fingers.

I experimentally put the Velcro side of the device against the inside of my wrist and pushed the little button again. The device attached itself to my skin and another hologram popped up. I still couldn't read the text, but this time a quiet voice emanated from the omni-tool.

"Hello, and thank you for purchasing the Elkoss Combine Cipher Tool Mark I. Please speak into the device so your omni-tool can be configured to your language."

Feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time in days, I whispered into back to the device, "Uhh, I speak human. English."

"Language recognized as the human dialect 'English'. Please confirm this by pressing the 'confirm' button within five seconds."

On the hologram the text turned into English, saying exactly what the voice had said. A button with 'confirm' on it popped up, and I pushed it.

Suddenly the small holographic window disappeared and another hologram, this one incasing my entire arm and hand, appeared. Many different buttons with a variety of options appeared on a rotating menu hovering over my palm, and in the middle of the ring of buttons were displays for things like the date, time, local temperature, location, and battery life. The arm area had what seemed like a keyboard. It looked almost exactly like it did in the game.

I smiled so wide my face hurt. Then it suddenly shut down and restarted with an error message.

_Goddamnit._

**AN: Shorter chapter this time, sorry. Thanks to my lovely reviewers and my silent, creepy stalkers.**

**Sorry for cramming so much time into a short chapter, but I wanted to get this part over with.**

**Reviews are my fuel. It really wakes me up in the morning to find fourteen emails from you guys in my inbox.**


	5. Chapter 5

**July 11****th****, 2180**

**Sahrabarik System, Omega**

**12:43 OST**

The omni-tool restarted itself twice and froze three times within a half-hour, but even that wasn't enough to completely wipe away the silly grin on my face. For the first time in days I could ignore my aching stomach and throbbing shoulder.

_This is an insanely lucky break. If I figure out how to use this right it could save my life._

"'Omni-tools are handheld devices that combine a computer microframe, sensor analysis pack, and minifacturing fabricator.'" I muttered to myself, looking at different functions of the buttons. "'Versatile and reliable, omni-tools can be used to analyze and adjust the functionality of most standard equipment, including weapons and armor, from a distance.'" Examples being the Overload and Sabotage abilities. "'The fabrication module can rapidly assemble small, three dimensional objects from common reusable industrial plastics, ceramics, and light alloys.'" Now that sounded handy, it made some of those garbage bins potential gold mines. "'This allows for field repairs and modifications to most standard items, as well as the reuse of salvaged equipment.'" Very, _very_ handy. "'Omni-tools are standard issue for soldiers and first-in colonists.'"

That last bit gave me pause. I was neither a soldier nor a first-in colonist. Though, in the game I'd seen a few other people with omni-tools that were civilians. Maybe they were just weren't all that common, but still not unusual. Either way, I should probably not let on to anyone I have one.

Browsing through the various programs on the device, I found everything the Codex had mentioned and more. There was indeed a sensory analysis program with many different modes, including heat-sensing, radiation scanning, radio wave telemetry, and biomedical reading. I had to resist the urge to just start scanning everything in sight. The fabrication module was very interesting. In order to make something you needed two things, a 'blueprint' of the object in mind and enough of the correct materials condensed into omni-gel. A blueprint could be made by hand or imported from a scan though it couldn't replicate anything too big or, as the brief tutorial helpfully told me, anything that had 'fabrication rights management' tags, the physical version of DRM. The fabricator also took care of reducing raw material into the more easily-transported omni-gel.

The omni-tool also had a host of other interesting features. Extranet access (unlimited and free, the future being awesome and all), live communication, recording programs, really suped up calculator, flashlight, and if that wasn't enough for you there was an equivalent to an app store where you could find just about anything else. It even came with a program creation toolkit.

I suspected that the 'app store' wouldn't let someone sell hacking or combat programs, but I looked anyways. To my surprise there was a weapon sabotaging program made available, one version for free and a better one for a few credits, by the Sirta Foundation. As I recalled, Sirta was mainly a biomedical firm that also made a line of armor and omni-tools. I supposed it made sense that they would supply a defensive combat app, though the free one seemed to have a very short duration and wasn't effective on all weapon types. I took it anyways, briefly wincing at the throbbing pain of my infected gunshot wound.

It would be best not to let something like that happen again.

I decided to take another look at the programming kit, and found myself in over my head. I understood the very basic concepts of programming, I had learned a simplified language in Mechatronics (mechanical + electronics) class in high school, but this was far beyond my infinitesimally small level of skill. The kit allowed for the usage of many different programming languages and had a lot of very simplistic code sections already written and available for use, but I had no earthy idea how to use them.

Unwilling to give up on it just yet, I went to the extranet and looked up a guide for one of the languages I saw listed. It was an older, simpler salarian coding language with a name I couldn't pronounce and it fit my needs just fine. I read over the first few sections of the guide several times, then went back and forth from the guide and the kit for several hours. I must have passed out at some point because I opened my eyes and found myself in a slight different position than before, gravity having pulled me down to the ground. I didn't bother to get up and go job hunting again, I simply went back to my study of programming. Under normal circumstances it probably would have taken me several days to know the language well enough to use it, but I had a lack of distractions and an overabundance of motivation. The constant freezing and restarting drove me insane at first, but fortunately the kit auto saved often and eventually I just learned to work around it.

Later the next day I managed to create a program that would, theoretically, let me piggyback onto a nearby signal like a communication or transaction and access the program like I was an authorized user. I hoped to be able to get into someone's bank account while they were purchasing something and siphon credits out without their noticing. Unfortunately the program required that I been nearby when the signal was sent, so I had to leave my hole and sit somewhere inconspicuous in the markets.

Getting up was an ordeal on its own. I remembered that this would be my eighth day without food, and it was taking its toll. My vision swam with colors from low blood pressure and my limbs had barely any energy left in them. I hadn't been fat before all this, but I had not been skinny either. Now, I looked like I'd lost all my extra weight and was bordering on unhealthily thin.

I sighed, then braved a look at my shoulder. I'd been avoiding looking at it for the past couple of days because I feared what I might see, and for good reason. The wound was weeping an ugly, off-white substance that was no doubt puss and the area all around it was raised and inflamed. It felt very hot and throbbed painfully.

_I really, really need this program to work. I can't afford for it not to. _

I took off my glasses again and walked slowly out to the street, leaning a little on the walls the whole way there. I spotted a bench near an electronics store and sat down on it gratefully.

I watched someone enter the store, a purple asari, and watched her carefully. She browsed the merchandise for several minutes before walking up to the counter. I hid my arm behind my back, occasionally glancing at it to see if a valid signal had been detected yet. I looked back at the store in time to see the store owner's omni-tool flare to life and I quickly looked back at my own, only to find that it had frozen. I turned back to see the asari leaving.

_God DAMNIT!_

I sighed and mumbled a handful of curses to myself, indulging in the few German and Japanese ones I knew.

I sat there for another fifteen minutes, growing more and more demoralized, before I saw someone else enter the electronics store, a batarian. He didn't browse like the asari had; instead he went straight up to the counter. I readied the program again and waited. After a moment in which the batarian customer and the shopkeeper had a heated discussion, the owner's 'tool lit up again. I looked at the program, which had successfully detected and traced the signal coming from the other omni-tool. I quickly tried to connect with the bank account that the signal was going to, but something in the program failed and the signal was lost.

_Fuck! What in the hell? What went wrong?! _

Panicking now, I waited until the batarian customer had left before bringing my omni-tool up to my face and opening up the program's coding, trying to find what the problem was. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a few people look at me oddly, but they didn't stop to question me so I ignored it. I double and triple checked my syntax and wording, everything seemed fine.

_Agh, what happened? My syntax is correct, I used all the appropriate terms, what the hell…_

I took another look at the part of the code that dealt with connecting to the signal and reread it through several times. The issue didn't occur to me until the tenth read. I wasn't sure how it had slipped past me, but the problem was obvious once I'd seen it and took a few seconds to fix.

I saved and rebooted the program just in time to look at the store and see a customer, a salarian this time, walk in. He momentarily looked over the items on display, but then he strode over to the counter. The customer and store owner spoke very briefly before they started the transaction, leaving me with only two seconds to catch the signal. It successfully got into the bank account this time, and I just blindly grabbed some credits before quickly disconnecting. I watched the last customer leave, then got up and headed back into an alley before looking at what I'd gotten.

The number softly glowing at me was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in a long time.

_200. Two-motherfucking-hundred. Two _hundred _credits. All mine._

I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty for taking the salarian's money. I was in far too much pain to care, and this was Omega. There was a high probability he'd done much worse.

I was jubilant, ecstatic, beyond relieved. Two hundred was just what I'd needed, enough to pay for medical treatment and have some left over to feed myself for a couple days. I made my way to the closer of the two clinics I had found, unable to contain a grin. It was sad that I could be so happy for getting the bare minimum I needed to survive, but my time in this universe had been almost nothing but negative and something finally going my way had me feeling like I was walking on clouds.

I reached the clinic and took a moment to collect myself before going in. The medical personnel were blunt and most would have thought them rude, but I was a rather blunt person myself and didn't mind. I paid 150 credits for a 'quick-treat', which consisted of treatment of any existing wounds and a round of common vaccines. It went by lightning-fast. A nurse quickly scrubbed out my injury with something that stung like a bitch, slapped a large bandage on it and gave me an injection that I assumed to be antibiotics near the graze so quickly I didn't even feel it. Then I was handed over to someone else who gave me three other injections in the crook of my right arm and before I could even say 'thank you' I was pushed out the door. The cleaning agent still stung, but I could already feel the throbbing fade a little. The grin was back.

I then headed to the nearest restaurant, which oddly enough was next door to the electronics shop I had targeted before, and ordered their cheapest levo-based meal, a batarian dish that reminded me of spaghetti. I had barely set the plate down before I had inhaled half of it. The owner of the restaurant, a turian that looked vaguely familiar was staring at me, but I was incapable of caring. I had food. I didn't care that it had flecks of plant and meat in it that tasted odd, I didn't care that it smelled weird as hell. Both would have made the dish inedible to me before, but I just couldn't give a shit anymore.

I was nearly finished when I heard yelling from the electronics store.

"-epayment! Either you overcharged me or someone stole from me while I was in your store! I am missing 200 credits! 200! That much doesn't just vanish!"

It was the salarian I stole from. I went rigid and the blood drained from my face.

_What if they could trace it back to me? What would happen then? Oh god, this is bad, what do I do?_

"I'm sorry, but I can assure you that I did not take your money and if someone else did, I cannot be held responsible." The volus store manager sounded very annoyed.

"Responsible? Of course you're responsible, this is your store! You have to assure your customer's safety-"

"I don't have to do anything. This is Omega, who are you going to report me to? C-Sec?" After hearing that, I slowly began to relax. I'd forgotten that Omega had no police force and no laws.

"Now see here-"

"I will say it one last time; I am notgoing to reimburse you. If you got stolen from, that's your fault. That's how things work on Omega, if you have a problem with that go back to the Citadel. We could stand to lose a few whiny Council-worshipers. Now, you can either leave my store or I can call the Blue Suns in to throw you out of here."

The salarian spluttered for a moment, then turned on his heel and stormed out. I sighed and looked back at my nearly empty plate to clean it off completely. The turian chef walked up to me and I froze, watching him from the side of my vision. I suddenly recognized him as the first person I had asked for a job.

"You're the one who stole from that salarian, aren't you?" he began without preamble.

My voice stuck in my throat and I just stared.

"I've noticed that you humans' skin looks whiter when you're scared. So? Did you?"

_No, you're wrong. No, I'm always pale. No, I was just scared from the yelling._

I couldn't get any of the words through my mouth.

The turian blinked and his mandibles twitched. "Well, if you did, I'd say that was a good job. Damn cloaca deserved it." He turned and walked back to his kitchen, leaving me there with my thoughts.

**AN: The dialog about omni-tools was written entirely from memory, I did not use a wiki or any other information source.**

**Also, I would not recommend looking for images for 'infection'. It's barf-worthy.**

**Reviews make the gears in my head turn. Please send more!**


	6. Chapter 6

**July 15****th**

**18:57 OST**

Three days after my first theft and I was riding high. I still felt a bit weak, but my stomach wasn't eating itself. The throbbing in my shoulder had died down to an ache, though I decided to not risk removing the bandage for a while. The credits I had left over would be enough to buy food for the next couple of days if I spent carefully.

Greatly enjoying not being hungry, I had spent the last two days trying to improve my programming skills. I began reading more advanced material for my chosen programming language and looking at other known uses for it. I eventually realized how shoddy my piggyback program was, and how incredibly lucky I had been that the salarian had, for whatever reason, felt so secure shopping on Omega he hadn't activated his anti-malware program. To my dismay, I found out that I hadn't taken into account protections on the target's omni-tool and simply assumed that they wouldn't notice someone directly connecting with their signal. My program was incredibly inelegant, it practically brute-forced its way in. Now that I wasn't starving, I was able to think clearly and see where I had gotten desperate and sloppy. I rewrote the code to be more subtle and hide better from protection software.

Today, I tried putting some of my improvements to good use. I was more cautious this time, I didn't stay in front of one store for too long and only stole five or ten credits per person. It took a while but at the end of it I had another 30 credits to my name. My neck ached from being bent over for so long. I went to rub it and my fingers got caught in the mess that was my hair.

I had begun to notice that, due to a lack of bathing facilities, I not only smelled bad but my hair had started to tangle and was now in rather large mats. I wasn't too sure what to do about it. I could just let it be, I didn't have anyone to impress and it wasn't a health hazard but it was annoying and uncomfortable as hell. I hadn't seen a barber anywhere, as far as I knew humans were the only sentient species with hair, and I didn't have a pair of scissors on me.

I thought about it for a bit and had an idea. I opened my omni-tool and looked at the fabrication module's blueprint creator, managing to make a passable 'outline' for what I wanted. Heading back into the alleyways that I literally lived in now, I started poking around in the various garbage bins and grabbed any pieces of ceramic I could find. Once I'd found a handful of the stuff, I put it all in my left palm and activated the omni-gel converter, turning the fragments into an opaque goo that the 'tool conveniently caught in a mass effect field. Then I started up the fabricator. In under a minute, I was holding a ceramic knife. The blade was only four inches long and looked brittle, but it was very sharp.

I went back to my hole in the wall and set about carefully cutting my hair.

Unwillingly, I remembered the last time my hair had been cut. I had been trying to cut it myself on a whim, but only managed to make it look like a mess. My mom took pity on me and cut the rest of it so it was even. She wasn't even all that upset with me, she just laughed and called me a dork. Mom was the type to laugh things off.

The homesickness I had been bottling up was bubbling to the surface. I had no idea what happened in my universe. Did I go missing? Was I in a coma? Was I found dead? Any of those would have devastated my mom. I had been a large part of her life and she had been my everything. It had just been the two of us for years.

Poor 'Stasia would come home from camping for her tenth birthday and find me gone and everyone else upset. She wasn't my biological sister but I kinda cared about her like a stepsister and my leaving, one way or another, would probably upset her a lot.

Jimmy I wasn't sure about but I knew I must have mattered to him, because otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to try and teach me common sense. He frustrated the hell out of me sometimes but I liked him a lot. He and Mom were great for each other, and he'd probably take good care of her now that I was gone.

And my boyfriend would be inconsolable, I knew. He really was just a big, sweet teddy bear and he adored me for reasons I never understood. We had a lot in common, gaming, music, books, and I felt like I could talk to him about anything. The thought that my disappearance, or death, would hurt him so much just tore me up inside. I cared a lot about him.

I might not ever see any of them ever again, and it hurt to think about it. I grabbed all those thoughts and feelings and pushed them down again. I knew it wasn't healthy to repress things, but I just couldn't deal with it. So I locked it all up again.

I finished cutting my hair.

**July 17****th**

**09:12 OST**

I leaned up against the wall of a gunshop, my eyes glued to the door of another shop across the way. I saw a human girl, one of the few I'd seen on Omega, walk up and down the aisles looking for something. She grabbed something, a new food processor it looked like, and went up to the counter with it. She gave the asari cashier her credit chit, and I turned on my omni-tool milliseconds before the cashier did. Thirty seconds later she was walking off with her new appliance and I was walking away five credits richer.

With more practice I had gotten faster at siphoning small amounts of credits, and my improvements to the program's code helped keep me from being caught. The damn omni-tool still malfunctioned often, but I discovered a timing to it and avoided using the device if it was due to freeze or restart soon.

I idly ran my hand through my now very short hair. At its longest it was only four inches, and the lengths greatly varied. I had just cut without any styling in mind and now my hair looked ragged and uneven, but I didn't care all that much as long as it didn't get caught on shit and pull on my scalp. The ceramic knife managed to not break in the process, and I had put it in one of my many pockets.

I started moving to another street to find my next target shop. Cutting through an alley that I knew let out near a clothes store, I was walking past a branch off when someone came out of the other alley and shoved me against the opposite wall. I stood up and made to run, but there was a gun pointed at my head.

It was another human, a guy wearing a dark red jacket and black pants. He looked a few years older than me and a few inches taller. He was holding a pistol. And it was pointed at me.

_Oh shit. Shitshitshit-_

"Give me all your credits and you don't get hurt."

My brain got stuck in an auto feedback loop of 'oh fuck he's going to shoot me fuck fuck fuck' and my vocal chords malfunctioned. I just mutely stared.

That was apparently the incorrect response, because the man started yelling. "Did you not hear me the first time? Give me your credits, you dumb bitch! I will not hesitate to shoot you!" He stepped closer, bringing the gun close enough to my head that I could feel the muzzle.

My adrenalin spiked and a switch flipped in me. It felt rather like when I had to do my senior presentation in high school. I had been worried sick all day before, but the moment I got up there to present, all my fear turned off and I preformed perfectly.

My mind was suddenly clear. I cataloged facts: I was being held at gunpoint. I had my back against the wall. The person holding the gun was much larger than me. I had my omni-tool and a fragile knife. I formulated a plan. Step one was to distract him.

My mouth felt like it was moving on its own. "You'd kill one of your own species? Even with how everyone else here treats us? That's low."

He cocked his head to the side and grinned. "It's just survival, baby. Those alien fucks don't give a damn if we starve. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And you gotta give me everything you have. Now."

Overconfident, sexist, 'macho'. Thinks he's a 'big man'.

"You call holding an unarmed girl at gunpoint 'survival'? You're not much of a man if you have to resort to this."

The man's face contorted with rage. "What did you say?!" He took another step forward, his eyes entirely focused on my face. I slowly went for the knife.

"I said, you're not man enough to go after another guy, you have to shake down a little girl." My brain thought through the motions.

_Left hand knocks gun arm up, right hand stabs the leg. Move back, turn on omni-tool, activate sabotage program._

He's shaking with fury now. "You little bitc- AGH!"

My left hand pushed the arm holding the gun up and away from me, my right stabbed his left leg with the ceramic knife. The blade didn't go very far before it broke from the pressure, but it caused him enough pain to stagger back. I dropped the handle and quickly turned on my omni-tool, queued up the weapon sabotage program, and 'fired' it at his pistol. The high-pitched beeping it made let me know it did its job. I ran out into the street and moved with the crowd.

I mindlessly walked with the stream for several minutes before I stopped and sat against a wall. Then the switch turned on again.

_Ohmyjesusmotherfuckholyshit! He had a gun! He was about to shoot me! In the head! Fuck!_

I was shaking all over. My vision wobbled, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I pulled my knees to my chest, put my hands at the sides of my head and rocked back and forth. A strangled noise escaped my throat.

_I could have died there. He was going to shoot me. I was going to die. He would have shot me in the head._

The more analytical part of my brain, cordoned off from the sheer hysteria that had overwhelmed the rest, was curious as to why I was having such a strong reaction. I had already been shot at, and hit, before. The hysterical part of my brain told the calm half to shut up.

Eventually the shock passed, leaving me dazed and blank. I didn't think for a while, until something occurred to me.

_I should make more of those knives._

**July 19****th**

**16:23 OST**

My thumb rubbed the hilt of a ceramic knife in my pocket reassuringly. I was walking the alleys again, which had become more unnerving and unfriendly since the human guy jumped me. Where once I had felt, if not safe, somewhat comfortable away from the people out on the street, I was now tense and worried. I had forgotten in my familiarity that this was Omega and the alleys were never safe.

_I need to find somewhere else to live. That hole isn't going to cut it anymore._

After my daily stealing spree, I turned my eye to the various apartment complexes in the district. There were a few family-sized apartments, luxurious bachelor pads, and multi-story dwellings. Then, there were the small tenements that barely qualified as 'homes'. My price range was extremely small, given that I was trying to not attract notice with my pilfering, and so I was stuck looking for the smallest one I could find.

I searched for a while before I found a complex with a sign on the outside that was flashing brightly. I had no clue what it said, but given the flashiness I suspected that they'd just opened. I went inside.

I entered a small lobby with a desk off to the right. There were stairs going down straight ahead, and I saw doors marked with what I guessed were numbers. At the desk was a batarian with reddish-tinged skin. He looked up from a datapad and motioned for me to come over.

"Human", he started, tone a bit more pleasant than I was used to, "Are you here for a room?"

I stared for a moment, then nodded my head. "Yes. What's the pricing?"

The batarian put a hand on the desk and rattled off, still in a pleasant voice, "It's two hundred for two weeks, three hundred for a month and five hundred for two months. Once you've paid it's non-negotiable, but at the end of your time you can pay a different amount to continue renting."

_I only have 140, fuck._

I almost turned and left, but I thought it over some more.

_I might be able to quickly scrounge up another 60, then use those two weeks to save up some more._

The batarian seemed to have noticed my hesitance, because he added, "If you want a room you should hurry, they're going fast."

I sighed. "There's some stuff I have to do, but I'll be back later with two hundred, okay?"

"Alright," he smiled, "I'll look for you later."

I left the apartment complex, shaking my head slightly. It was unusual for one of the 'original' Omega races to be so nice to a human, but I supposed there were always exceptions.

I managed to collect the needed credits after a few hours, though I was a bit too reckless for my comfort. I left the markets quickly, casting glances over my shoulder. No one came after me, however, and soon I was back at the batarian's complex. When I walked in the owner was talking with a turian, but he left quickly and I was waved over.

"I have your two hundred credits." I said, activating my omni-tool. He turned his on as well and I transferred the money over.

"Then I have your room." He sent a data packet to my 'tool. "That'll tell the door to open for you. It's the ninth one to the left."

"Thank you." I nodded to him.

"You're welcome." He went back to his datapad.

I headed down the stairs, then turned left and walked along the doors.

"…seven, eight, nine."

I stopped at my door and touched the red, glowing access button in the middle of the door with my 'tool. It turned green and opened.

It was tiny, smaller than a bathroom, with a cot, some shelves, a toilet, sink and dresser. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

It didn't feel safe. It didn't feel like home. But it would do.

**AN: When I woke up this morning and saw that chapter five had gotten seven reviews while I slept, I nearly died of happiness. You guys are awesome.**

**I've decided to drop the location and year from the section-openers unless they have changed.**

**And yay! I'm not sleeping in a hole anymore!**


	7. Chapter 7

**July 25****th**

**11:32 OST**

"Come on, come on, don't do this to me baby… fuck."

My omni-tool restarted mid-hack for the fourth time. I was kneeling in front of my door, test running a program I had been developing for opening doors without the required access data. But for some reason using the program made my omni-tool more temperamental than usual. I was seriously considering giving up. There was something about trying to hack a door that the damn thing just didn't agree with.

I stood up and was brushing off my pants when a voice appeared behind me.

"What are you doing?"

I turned quickly to find my landlord, who I had learned was named Taren, looking at me oddly. His top pair of eyes were narrowed.

_Oh hell. _"Uhh. Nothing." My shoulders tensed and I looked away.

"…are you having trouble opening your door?"

"No."

He stared at me. "Then what were you doing?"

I looked back at him. "I-I wasn't doing anything."

Taren tilted his head slightly sideways, which I had begun to associate with skepticism in batarians.

"I- okay, fine. I was testing a hacking program."

His bottom eyes twitched. "Are you going to use this program to steal from me?"

"No!" I shook my head vigorously. I knew better than to start shit with my landlord.

"Then it's none of my business." He took a step back and started to leave, but stopped. "You call your omni-tool 'baby'? Is that some sort of human slang?"

Blood rushed up into my face. "It's-it's nothing. It's a term of endearment." The bloody thing had saved my life a couple of times and I'd grown attached, despite all its faults.

Taren shook his head and went back upstairs. My shoulders slumped, and I opened my door with the legitimate data, locking it behind me. Taren was an okay guy from what I'd seen over the past week, but I still didn't feel very comfortable around him. It was ill-advisable to trust anyone on Omega.

Little had changed in my room since I moved in. The sheets were unmade, my coat was draped over the dresser and there were a few packages of non-perishable food on the shelves, a nice benefit of having a place with a door that locked, but otherwise it was still barren. I sat down cross-legged on the cot and opened the door-hacking program again, looking through the code for whatever might have been triggering the malfunctions. It was nice to have a bed again, though I was capable of sleeping anywhere. I've even fallen asleep in bathtubs before, but the benefits of a sheet and pillow could not be overstated.

Over the last week I'd been looking into making different programs. I didn't know the language the Sirta sabotage program was written in, so I'd started reverse-engineering my own, but it was slow-going. I also looked into making something similar to an Overload, but I had no frame of reference and nothing to practice with, so no headway was made there. I _was_ able to make a functioning program that was similar to Dampening; it had actually been rather easy considering I'd already made a program to infiltrate signals sent from an omni-tool. I simply made an altered form that forced the 'tool to shut down. I even made a variant that could piggyback from one omni-tool to another and shut the second one down instead. It wasn't perfect, it was easily countered by antivirus software, but if caught unawares I could fry someone's 'tool for quite a while.

The day after I finished that one there were several annoyed people having issues with their omni-tools.

I was also trying to get in the habit of working out. I looked up a regiment on the extranet that fit my time and space constraints and put some effort into following it. It focused on improving flexibility and cardio; the first I was already good at and wanted to exploit, the second I was horrible with and needed to address. I had to force myself the first few days, but I'd begun getting in the habit.

Something else I was working on, now that I wasn't actively trying to survive, was thinking about the coming future. I began going through what I knew from the games and sorted them by importance and value. I knew some pretty important things, such as the current or soon-to-be location of the Illusive Man's base, the existence of a Prothean Beacon on Thessia, the resting place of a living Prothean, where to find a Dead Reaper, the identity and location of the Shadow Broker, and the continued existence of the Leviathans (though unfortunately I didn't remember where). I knew a host of other, less important things like the fact that the current or soon-to-be greeter for the Consort and the present or future secretary for the Embassies on the Citadel were sisters whose mother had died on Rannoch. I knew better than to write any of it down, but I spent a few minutes every day running through the list of things I knew and tried to remember more. Three years was a long time and I was worried I might forget something.

I also started looking up random information: what was going on in the Alliance, what was the latest information about Cerberus, what was the Migrant Fleet up to. I looked up Shepard's service records and found out that John Shepard was definitely male, looks like he had in the game, and was known as the 'Butcher of Torfan'. That worried me. A Renegade Shepard could do some seriously nasty things, and now that this was reality it could get a whole lot worse.

I was forming a daily schedule: get up, workout for an hour, eat, wander the markets looking for easy marks, eat, work on programming and/or research, and sleep. It was nice to have some order again. Pattern and repetition was known to be soothing to people with Asperger's, and it definitely helped me. I felt like I had regained control over my life.

Though, I was becoming aware that I needed to start getting more credits. I was making enough to have food and save up for rent, but if I wanted to get my omni-tool repaired and buy a gun, armor or anything else I had to increase my 'revenue'. I wanted to avoid attracting attention like I had the first time, because next time it might be a very large and angry krogan I pissed off, so I needed to target people who were moving large sums of money. Unfortunately, people who moved large amounts of money on Omega tended to be from the three big mercenary bands, and they would not be easy to swindle.

_Maybe I could move from solely electronic theft and take a bit of their merchandise. I've seen the Blue Suns moving crates full of stuff, maybe- no, that's a stupid ass idea. I'd just get myself caught and killed._

The whole thought of stealing from the mercenaries was fucking dumb, but I wasn't sure what else to do.

_I suppose I could start watching them closer, see what I can get to._

I decided that going after the Blue Suns was a _very_ bad idea, not shitting where you eat and all that, so I'd look into the Eclipse. They had a presence in the Kima District, which bordered Gozu District.

I cricked my neck and refocused on working out the bugs of my door-hacking program. It was possible I'd need it soon.

**July 31****th**

**10:12 OST**

I watched the robot, an older style of Loki mech, walk along its patrol route across the street from the rooftop I was crouched on. As it came to the closest point in its route to me, I activated the queued program on my 'tool. It suddenly stopped and sputtered. I activated it again, and the mech went on its way like nothing had happened.

It was fairly easy to spy on the Eclipse, seeing as they didn't really hide what they were doing. They moved shipments of Eezo out in the open, even examined the crates right out where everyone could see. I'd managed to locate two of their warehouses just by watching where they took the crates. They only seemed to worry about someone attacking the shipment head-on.

_Well, the only thing they need to worry about is the Blood Pack or Blue Suns, no one but me would be dumb enough to steal from them.  
_

The warehouses were well-guarded; there were always at least six people and eight mechs onsite at all times. This had me stumped at first; I saw no point at which I could slip in. But, looking at the mechs more gave me an idea.

The mercs were pissed and confused as hell when some of their mechs started acting up two days ago. Some would stop right in their tracks and refuse to move, others started following new routes. They still weren't sure what the issue was, and they hadn't had an engineer come down to look at them yet. I had to act soon, because if they did the engineer would tell them that someone was hacking their mechs.

Once I realized that I could use the mechs as a distraction, I had forgone my usual schedule for a whole day to focus entirely on writing a program to give the mechs new commands. I then practiced in odd but harmless ways that annoyed the Eclipse to no end.

However, the time had come for me to act. I had to pull this off before someone could realize what was happening. Hopefully because the mechs had been acting up for a while they wouldn't assume it was a ruse.

I waited for at least three mechs to come within my light of sight from the opposite side of the building and rapidly fired off the program at each of them. The three mechs stopped, turned towards the building and started shooting. I waited a few moments for the guards to get distracted, and then quickly climbed down the ladder I'd used to get up there and ran up to the door. The door was locked, of course, but after several rewrites I had finally gotten my door-opening program to work and it was able to get me in after a few seconds. By the time I got inside nearly all the mercs and other mechs were outside trying to handle the rogue robots, and the ones still inside were watching that side of the building. I moved quietly to the crates and opened one. Inside were smaller plastic boxes eight inches wide and about two feet long, with the symbol for Eezo stamped on them.

The distraction must have not been enough, because two of the organic guards turned at the sound of the crate opening, saw me, and started shooting.

_Shit, what the hell was I thinking? Fuck!_

I put the crate in-between me and the Eclipse, ducking down and using it as cover. They started yelling.

"Guys, get back in here!"

"We've got a thief in here! Hiding behind the crates!"

_Shit shit shit. I need to get out of here! Now!_

A guard suddenly came around the crate and leveled his rifle at me. I was just barely able to dodge in time to another crate, only to run into a mech. It had a pistol and was about to shoot me.

I entered an adrenalin rush, and things seemed to slow. My mind, which had been hazy with fear, was suddenly calm. I pushed the pistol aside and fired the VI-rewrite program at the mech. I ducked down and went behind the robot, which was now uninterested in me and was aiming at the Eclipse merc that had just rounded the corner. I heard gunfire very close to me, but I ignored it and opened the nearest crate. I grabbed three of the plastic boxes, closed the crate and ran as fast as I could.

I heard the gunfire stop somewhere behind me, but I was already a block away. I slowed my pace but kept moving back to the Gozu District, checking every once in a while for pursuers. Once I entered the district, I sat down and took a moment to freak out. It didn't last nearly as long as the last time, and soon I was at the door to the apartment complex.

As I walked in, Taren looked up from whatever he'd been doing to see me carry in three boxes of stolen Eezo.

He took a step back, eyes wide. "Is that what I think it is?!"

I put my burden down and rested my hands on my knees, panting. "What- do you think- it is?"

He just stared at me as I regained my breath. After a moment, I picked up the boxes again and headed to my room.

"How did you get them?" There was something resembling awe in his voice.

I called back to him from the stairs: "What do you think the hacking program was for?"

Getting in to my room was a bit of a hassle, but eventually I was able to set my load down on my cot and lock the door. I leaned on the door and let myself slide down to the floor.

_Now, what do I do with them?_

**AN: I hope my heist wasn't too unrealistic. I spent a while trying to think over how to make it work, and this was the best I could do.**

**There's a poll up on my profile for this fic, but if you don't like polls for some reason I'd like to hear your opinion in a review: what pairings would you like to see in this fic? I'm willing to consider just about anything. Right now I'm leaning towards ShepXAshley and GarrusXTali. I'm not sure about myself yet.**

**And I am seriously feeling the love. Over thirty reviews in a week? Over a thousand hits? Holy crap guys, I was not expecting to be this popular.** **Thank you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**August 15****th**

**07:34 OST**

_This could go so wrong, what if two weeks wasn't long enough to wait? What if the Eclipse are on their way right now? What if the Blue Suns betray me? What if they told the Eclipse? What if they're sending someone to kill me? Fuck, why did I think this was a good idea?! They could just kill me and take it! I should get out of here, find someone else to buy the eezo!_

I was pacing restlessly at the spot the Blue Suns representative told me to be at. My hands were shaking as I checked my omni-tool for the seventh time to make sure I had all of my combat programs hotkeyed and ready, including the recently finished sabotage program I reverse-engineered from the less effective Sirta version. The three boxes of eezo were on the ground in the middle of the alleyway designated as the meeting place.

They were four minutes late. I checked my 'tool an eighth time.

I heard footsteps coming down the alley and deactivated my omni-tool. I stopped pacing and forced myself to appear relaxed while inside I was screaming at myself for agreeing to this.

_They're going to shoot me and take the eezo and leave me to bleed to death and I'll have no one to blame but myself and this is a very very bad idea!_

A turian and batarian in Blue Suns armor turned the corner and stopped a few feet away from the boxes. They had assault rifles on their backs but didn't appear hostile. The turian crossed his arms and looked me over. I tried not to squirm.

"You the one with the eezo?"

I nodded and gestured to the boxes. "They're right there."

The turian turned to his friend. "Check them."

The batarian knelt down to look at the boxes. He activated his omni-tool and to my great surprise what looked like a small omni-blade came out, which he used to pry open one of them and looked inside. I had to make a physical effort not to slap myself. I'd totally forgotten about omni-blades.

_Think about that later! Focus on the now!_

While I berated myself for being dumb, the batarian carefully closed the box and stood up. "It looks legitimate. No signs of contamination."

The turian grunted, appearing satisfied. "Alright then, human. How about three hundred per unit?"

My throat had a minor malfunction at the thought of nine hundred credits, but I quickly recovered. "I-uhh, yeah. That's fine." He turned on his 'tool and transferred the aforementioned amount. Then the batarian picked up the boxes and they left. The entire time I was waiting for one of them to pull out their guns and shoot me but I was still standing afterwards, boxless and nine hundred credits richer. I walked out of the alley and into the streets in a daze. I had not been expecting that to work out.

_And I completely forgot about omni-blades! How the hell did I forget that? They only showed up in ME3, yeah, but that doesn't mean they weren't around! God I feel stupid._

I made a mental note to start working on an omni-blade program and moved on to figuring out what to do with all of my credits. I listed off the things I needed in order of importance in my head.

_Repairs for my 'tool. Corrective eye surgery. Gun. Armor. New clothes._

I would have normally put the gun before the surgery, but a gun was useless if I couldn't aim worth shit.

I decided to first head towards the electronics shop. As I walked, I remembered that it was the same shop where I'd stolen two hundred credits from a salarian. I had a strange feeling sweep over me when I realized that had happened over a month ago. It felt like it had been years. I still hadn't seen Dream or Delirium since I first arrived in this universe. I suppose they're busy in the Sandman universe doing what they do, but if they had been so intent on me being here the least they could have done was tell me why. Instead I was left floundering, waiting three years for something I might not be able, or have the desire, to change.

Thirty-five months to go.

"What can I- oh." The volus at the counter looked up at me and made a noise of disgust. "Get out of here, human. I doubt you can afford anything I have."

"You'd be surprised, volus," I responded, putting venom into the words. "I need my omni-tool fixed."

"Ha. I bet you dropped it, you humans are awfully clumsy. Show me."

I scowled, but showed the device on my wrist. The volus looked it over briefly, then turned on his own omni-tool and scanned it.

"Can you fix it?" I asked impatiently.

The volus answered with a tone one would use to speak to a child. "Yes, yes. You managed to hit it hard enough to loosen the transistor and one of the resistors is damaged, but I can fix your toy."

I sighed. "How much will that cost?"

"Seven hundred credits."

I felt my jaw literally drop. "Seven hundred?! You're insane."

"No, I'm perfectly sane. I'm also the only person in the district who can fix your omni-tool. If you want it fixed, you'll pay seven hundred credits."

I grumbled and made rude implications about his parentage, but I transferred the credits over.

"Alright," the volus said, "Give it to me."

I took the device off of my wrist and handed it to him. He pulled out a very delicate looking tool and carefully cracked open the casing. I rubbed the inside of my wrist nervously. I felt strangely naked without my omni-tool; I hadn't taken it off since I found it.

The volus manipulated his tool, which looked like and oddly hooked screwdriver, with a dexterity I hadn't thought possible with only three fingers. After a minute, he closed it back up and handed it back to me. "That should do it. Now, get out of my store." I was out the door in two seconds.

Outside the store, I put my omni-tool back on and activated it. There wasn't any immediately noticeable difference, but it did seem to run a bit faster. I was sorely tempted to walk back in there and punch the little asshole in his masked face, but I resisted. I'd probably just hurt my hand.

_Goddamn space pirate._

I strongly suspected that two hundred credits wasn't enough to buy corrective eye surgery, but I checked in with the clinic anyways. As I thought, it was five hundred and fifty credits. Dispirited, I went back to the apartment.

Taren was apparently waiting for me, because the second I walked it he approached me. My frustration leaked unintentionally into my voice. "What do you want, Taren?"

He was oddly silent for a moment, then asked in a cool voice, "Your rent is up, are you going to pay again?"

"Damnit. Of course, take all my credits, it's not like had any use for them." I transferred the last of the money I'd gotten from the eezo, unhappy and irritated with the volus who'd probably overcharged me.

"If you don't want the room you could just leave!" Taren was oddly upset. "There's no need to be rude."

"What?" I was very confused.

"You are speaking very offensively to me, human!" He seemed very angry.

I realized that I had fucked up socially. Again. I wasn't unfamiliar with this situation; I just hadn't been talking to people very much anymore and have been thusly avoiding situations like this. It had been a regular occurrence for me at home. Things that seemed small or unimportant to me, like the right tone or facial expression, meant a lot to other people for reasons I understood intellectually but didn't get practically. I knew it would be simply something I would have to learn to deal with, having Asperger's would never go away, but it still surprised me every time.

"I- Taren, I'm sorry. I-" The batarian didn't let me finish.

"Whatever, human. I have better things to do than talk to someone who's impolite to me." He shook his head in disgust and walked away.

I felt like shit. I never intended to be rude, it just happened. And now one of the few people that had been nice to me was pissed at me. I went to my room and slumped on the cot.

_So, grand total of the day: I might have gotten ripped off and pissed off my landlord. Great._

I've still had worse, I reminded myself: I could still be starving and have an infected injury. It didn't make it suck any less.

I opened my omni-tool and tried to figure out how to program the fabricator to make an omni-blade.

**August 20****th**

**11:29 OST**

_At least the damn volus didn't fudge up or fake the repairs._

As I siphoned another 10 credits from an unfortunate shopper, I was marveling at how my omni-tool didn't freeze or restart once. Five days later and I still hadn't gotten used to it. I had suffered with the malfunctions for a month and the difference was astonishing. Work on creating or updating my programs went a lot faster when I didn't have to stop every few minutes or redo the last few lines. It was _almost_ worth the seven hundred credits. _Almost._

I was reasonably satisfied with my haul today of seventy credits and started for the apartment complex. Taren had eventually stopped being angry but he was still a bit cool with me, which made me a little sad each time I saw him.

As I walked past an alleyway entrance, I heard some scuffling and a thump. I stopped and looked to see a krogan in orange armor pinning what looked like a quarian, the first I'd ever seen, to the alley wall. I couldn't tell the quarian's gender from where I was, but the krogan looked slightly familiar. The krogan was literally growling and the quarian was flailing, trying to get the krogan's hand off of them.

"You damn suit-rat! I should gut you!"

"Let go of me!" The quarian sounded female and in a fair amount of distress.

"Not until you give me back my credits!" The krogan pushed harder on the quarian and she let out a pained gasp.

"I told you, I didn't steal from you! I don't know how to steal credits like that!"

"So I just randomly lost ten credits with you standing conveniently nearby?! I don't think so! If you don't give me my credits, I'll rip that damn face mask off!"

I suddenly remembered where I seen the krogan. I'd stolen from him two hours ago.

This was my fault.

I should walk away. Getting into a fight with a krogan would be the stupidest thing I'd ever done, stealing from the Eclipse included. But this was because of me. My ethics were fairly flexible, corpse-looting and petty thefts were okay because it didn't harm anyone. And if it hadn't involved me I probably would have left already. I'd seen several people in this same position. I would have been sad about the quarian dying but this was Omega. Walking away now, however, would be potentially letting this quarian die for something _I_ did. That was unacceptable.

So I braced myself and did something very stupid.

I walked up behind the krogan. "Hey."

"Help, pleas-", the quarian began before being cut off by the krogan squishing her again.

The krogan turned to look at me with big yellow eyes. "This doesn't concern you, human!"

"It looks like you're about to kill that quarian. I'm not okay with that." I spoke in the calmest voice I could manage.

He snorted. "Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it, ape?"

"This." I activated my untested omni-blade program and stabbed him in the side.

The krogan let go of the quarian, which had been my intention, and roared, taking a swing at me. That had not been my intention. I dodged the first blow but the second connected. I heard something crack and I went flying into the wall behind me.

I crumpled to the ground. My whole right side was in pain, and everything was very bright and spinning. My ears were ringing. From my position on the floor, I saw the krogan's feet approach me. There was a sudden, loud noise and a rush of heat. I saw small pieces of what looked like the krogan's orange armor falling to the ground. They were on fire. The krogan turned away from me, then ran out of my line of sight.

A moment later, a three fingered hand appeared in front of me and waved. It suddenly turned into two identical hands, then one again. A girl was talking. "Hey, human. You okay?"

Everything was jumbled in my head. _Wow my head hurts. _"I… wha? What're doin' witht three fingers? Thass weird. Youu can' hold pencils righ' that way."

"…I think you have a concussion."

"Oh. Tha' might be why my head hurts soo much."

"Yeah. I'm gonna take you to a clinic, okay? I owe you that at least." The weird three-fingered hands tried to pull me up, but it hurt a lot.

"Ow! That hurts! Stopit."

The girl sighed. "Do you really want to stay on that floor? Come on, we should leave before that krogan decides to come back."

"…I like the floor." But I tried to get up. The girl seemed nice, even if she talked weird and had three fingers. She helped me stand. I almost fell over again, but she grabbed me and held me still. We started walking.

I looked at the cloth-thing on the girl's head. It was blue, my favorite color. It had swirly patterns. "I like your head-cloth-thing. It's pretty." It seemed easier to talk now, I wasn't slurring so much.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

We walked for a while. Everything was still spinning, but my brain started to seem less confused. I slowly remembered what had happened. I realized that the girl was the quarian I had helped. "Thank you," I muttered, "for helping me up."

The quarian looked at me, gleaming white eyes visible behind the glass of her mask. "You're welcome. What made you help me anyways?"

"I'm the one who stole from the krogan." The quarian girl stopped mid-step. "I couldn't let you pay for what I did."

"Oh. Okay then." She continued walking.

My body was in a considerable amount of pain. I suspected I had several broken bones. I was desperate to distract myself when I realized that I didn't even know her name. "Hey, what's your name anyways?"

"I'm Lera'Wayei nar Yolaris."

"I'm Shawna… Brown." I quickly improvised with my godmother's last name. It might have been the concussion but I just didn't want anyone to know my real name. "So, you're on your Pilgrimage then?"

"What? How did you know?" There was obvious shock in her voice.

"Your name is Nar, not Vas."

"But how did you know about the Pilgrimage? Very few non-quarians know about it!"

"I read things on the extranet. Sometimes I learn interesting stuff. Did you know that the krogan Rite of Passage is a ritual where they have to survive for about five minutes against a thresher maw on foot?"

Lera's glowing eyes widened. "…no, I did not. Keelah, that makes a Pilgrimage on Omega sound easy!"

I nodded. "Why _did_ you choose here for your Pilgrimage?" Talking was helping keep my mind off the pain and potential internal damage I had.

"Partly for the challenge, and because no one else was doing it. I'm regretting it now, but I can't afford to buy a ride off this rock."

I sucked a bit of air between my teeth. "Yeah, that sucks. Sorry."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Meh. It's my own fault. Nothing to blame but my own stupid pride."

Right about then we arrived at the clinic. Lera experimentally let go of me and I managed to stay standing. She nodded to me. "Okay then, you think you're good?"

"Yeah." She started to walk away, but I called out to her. "Hey!" She stopped and looked back. "How about I give you my comm address? That way, if you get lost or want someone to talk to, you can call me. I know how much it sucks to be alone here." I activated my omni-tool and prepared to send the equivalent of my phone number.

Lera was silent for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. That'd be nice." She turned on her 'tool and I gave her the number.

"Alright then. I hope to hear from you!"

She waved and left. I walked into the clinic, expecting to come out several credits short. I heaved a large sigh.

**August 21****st**

**05:00 OST**

The beeping of my omni-tool's alarm woke me up to a world of pain. My right arm, ribs and head were incredibly sore.

_Which was to be expected. I was punched by a krogan. Note to self: don't get punched by krogan. At least I know the omni-blade works._

The doctors at the clinic said I had broken my right arm, cracked two of my ribs, broke a third and sustained a concussion. They gave me an injection of something that was supposed to help the bones mend faster, wrapped my torso up, put a cast on my arm and sent me on my way a hundred and fifty credits poorer, which unfortunately had to come out of my food and rent savings. I needed to figure out how to make some cash, fast.

I very carefully sat up and reviewed my options. I had enough non-perishable food saved in my room for a few days, but it wouldn't last long. I needed to make at least three hundred credits within nine days.

_I could try siphoning more credits, but as yesterday showed I'm not going unnoticed. Taking more would just get me in trouble. I could-no NO! That was stupid the first time, and it's even more stupid now! What in the hell am I thinking?_

Trying to steal from the Eclipse again was beyond ridiculous. It had nearly gotten me killed the first time, and now I was injured. The doctors had said I would be better in a week, the benefit of the bone-regenerative medicine, but it was still crazy to think about trying to raid a group of well-armed mercenaries like this.

Though, I could just watch them. Who knows, I could get lucky.

_That would be so incredibly stupid, I'd have to be insane…_

**August 29****th**

**10:09 OST**

"I'm insane," I muttered to myself.

I had been watching the Eclipse for six days after taking two to not feel like I'd been punched by a krogan. My bones had healed in that time, but it still ached sometimes.

I laid off on my workouts for a while but picked them up again two days ago. I'd begun to notice the results of said exercise: I could run for longer and felt a bit more limber. It was a nice feeling. Hopefully after three years I'd be in shape enough that Shepard and the Normandy crew wouldn't laugh at me when I asked to join.

That was, if I had survived for three years, which I was currently doubting. I was covertly watching an Eclipse warehouse, not the same one I had robbed earlier, from a nearby store. They were as well guarded as the previous warehouse, six organic guards of various species and eight Loki mechs.

That hadn't changed in the six days I had watched them, and I had been about to just give up and focus on skimming more credits from shoppers when something happened a half-hour ago. There was a sound, probably a large explosion, from a few blocks away. After a moment, gunfire could be heard from the same area. The Eclipse in the warehouse suddenly started moving around more, obviously anxious, until all of the organic guards and four of the mechs left the warehouse in the direction of the explosion. They hadn't come back in yet and the gunfire hadn't died down.

This was the perfect moment to go in. Obviously the Blood Pack, Blue Suns or someone else was attacking the Eclipse, and the only ones left at the warehouse were four mechs.

_This is crazy. It's perfect but it's crazy. I'm insane._

I argued with myself for a few moments about whether or not to go in, but I knew I could have a very small window of opportunity. If I was going to try this, I had to go now.

I left the shop and started towards the warehouse, queuing up my VI-hacking program. As I approached the door, one of the mechs intercepted me.

"Halt. This is Eclipse property. Leave or you will be-" I fired off the program and the mech stopped in its tracks. I fired at another mech, and that one stopped too. I hacked the door open and looked in.

The other two mechs turned to look at me and started firing. I ducked behind the wall and sent a command to the two hacked mechs, who went into the warehouse and fired at the other two. After a minute the gunfire stopped and I looked in again. My hacked mechs were destroyed, but so was one of the other mechs and the last was disabled and crawling on the floor. I walked in and opened a nearby crate, which held eezo. I grabbed four boxes this time. As I was leaving I stopped, put down the boxes and grabbed one of the mechs' pistols. It was heavy, but not more than I could handle. I put it in my pocket, picked up the boxes again and left. I saw people looking at me as I went by and cursed myself.

_I must have a deathwish._

I walked at a brisk pace, eager to get away. Two minutes later I heard the gunshots from the merc skirmish stop. I sped up.

An hour later, I was back in my room. Taren had given me an odd look, but didn't say anything. I slid the boxes underneath the cot and sat down.

Feeling the hard shape of the pistol in my coat pocket, I pulled it out and looked it over. It was a dark red color and had the symbol of the Elkoss Combine on it. I felt along its body and found a button that, when pushed, made the gun collapse into an easier to store shape. I pushed the button again, and it folded out. I pushed the button repeatedly, fascinated with the mechanical movement. I unfolded the gun and with a strange, morbid curiosity, slowly lifted it to point it at my temple.

My finger wasn't anywhere near the trigger, but my heart was racing.

_It might be better. Easier. There's no way I'd survive three years alone._

_I've already fought this fight and won. Suicide doesn't accomplish anything. Living does._

_And what could I accomplish in this hell hole?_

_A whole lot more breathing than as a corpse._

I had been suicidally depressed several years ago, but had managed to recover without therapy or medication. However, a bit of morbidity had lingered in my mind. A part of me tossed around the idea of killing myself, but I already knew I wouldn't. This had played out before, and the result would be the same.

After a while, I lowered the gun.

As I set the pistol down on a nearby shelf, my omni-tool made a strange ringing noise. I activated it and it said I was being pinged for a communication. I accepted the contact, and a familiar voice came though.

"Hey. This is Lera."

I smiled.

**AN: Yesterday I was tired and having trouble writing, so today you guys get a double-length chapter.**

**So far between the poll and reviews it looks like the most popular pairings are ShepXAshley, ShepXMe, GarrusXMe, and GarrusXTali. I'll keep the poll up for a good while longer, so don't worry.**

**I spent a good amount of time today thinking about where I'm going with this story, and I think I have most of the pre-ME years planned. There's going to be quite a bit of time-skipping but I also have a few plot arcs planned, so expect several more chapters before we reach ME1.**

**Thank you again for all of your support.**


	9. Chapter 9

**September 20****th**

**09:56 OST**

My eyes were moving around so fast I worried they might pop out. Everything was so _clear_, it was amazing. I could see the details of an asari's facial makeup from several yards away, or every crease and detail of Lera's suit. I couldn't believe I had survived so long with such limited vision. The corrective eye surgery had to be the best birthday present I'd ever gotten myself. I felt like when I'd first gotten my glasses, giddy and disbelieving that everyone else saw the world with this level of clarity. I kept turning my head to look at everything going on in the market.

"Stop doing that. You're going to hurt your neck, you idiot." Lera seemed annoyed by my childish glee.

I shoved her shoulder a little. "Oh give me a break! I can finally _see_. And it's my twentieth birthday. So let me be an idiot for a bit."

"But you're _always_ an idiot," she shot back.

Lera and I were going to a clothing store where I was going to buy a new coat and outfit with the money I got selling eezo to the Blue Suns. After that I hoped to look at armor sets.

Lera was a godsend. Nearly two months alone, with no friends or family, had been slowly wearing on me. I was generally an introvert but humans were social creatures, even the ones with neurological disorders that made socialization difficult. Now that I had met Lera, I had someone to talk to. She was a bit abrasive, but she was obviously loyal to the Migrant Fleet. She spent most of her time trying to save up enough credits to buy a Pilgrimage gift by doing odd jobs for people, who were more willing to hire a quarian with mechanical experience than a human with no credentials. She was apparently homeless and living in a nearby district, but when I offered to share my room she turned me down. She 'didn't want to have to rely on anyone else'. I accepted her choice but left the offer open.

We arrived at the store and were met by a beautiful but cold asari. She was a very pale blue and had silver face makeup.

"I'm sorry, but I think you two have entered the wrong store. We sell good quality clothing, not suits or rags." Her voice was perfectly even and emotionless the entire time.

_I greatly dislike people like her._

I responded in an equally calm and cold tone. "I can pay. My friend is just here to help me pick something out."

She casually waved us away. "Look around if you want, but you had better not steal anything."

Without replying I quickly went to their asari section, as they did not have a dedicated human section. I supposed I was fortunate to be female; a lot of things that would fit an asari would fit me just as well.

Lera glanced over her shoulder and muttered under her breath. "Bosh'tet."

"Ignore her. She's just a stuck-up racist. Now, help me figure out what my size is."

Once I was able to ascertain the ratios between the old human sizing scale I was used to and the modern asari scale, I was surprised at just how much thinner I had become. True, I was no longer starving but I hadn't put on much weight since then between watching my credits and working out. I had little to no extra fat on me. It meant that if I was ever again in a situation where I couldn't eat for a while I could be in serious danger, but I did kind of appreciate how it made me look.

Lera and I looked through the types of clothes for a while. The asari had strange fashion senses, at least compared to what I knew. They were fond of clothing that reached from the neck to the ankle, but often exposed just as much skin as if they had been wearing miniskirts. The fabric was oddly textured and came in a variety of bright colors, from bright pinks and purples to florescent yellows and deep oranges. I found myself gravitating to the few dark blues and blacks, blue being my favorite and black appealing to my need to blend in, whereas Lera kept trying to get me into browns and greens, saying they brought out my eyes. I avoided anything with a skirt, and Lera thankfully agreed. The last time I had worn one was for my high school graduation and that had been forced on me by my family.

A deep sadness started to rear its head, but I shoved it down again.

I found a black shirt that I liked and brought it into the dressing room. I took off the vest and tank top I had gotten from the corpse in the alley that first day. As I reached to grab the shirt, I caught a look at my left shoulder in the mirror. The graze had scarred, leaving a long white mark two inches long. I ran my finger along the scar.

_At least now I won't forget about what happened that day. I know not to let my curiosity get the better of me._

I then looked at my face. I was very pale, the palest I've been in years. Now that my eyes weren't hidden by my glasses they looked rather large, looking greenish-amber in the lighting. My face had all of the puppy-fat stripped of it, making it seem almost angular. My reddish-brown hair was shorter than I had ever seen it; I had been maintaining the length to keep it from getting in the way.

I looked different. I felt different.

_Two, almost three months in a different dimension will do that to you._

I quickly changed back into my old clothes and left the stall.

Eventually I found two sets of pants and shirts I liked, along with a new black coat. Altogether it had cost a hundred and seventy credits. The asari looked like she had smelled something horrible the entire time she was ringing me up. The clothes were bagged and I carried them out quickly, eager to get away.

Lera was still grumbling about my choice of footwear. "I still don't know why you insist on keeping those boots."

"Because they're practical. They have good traction, ankle support, and decent foot protection."

"Yes, but they're also old, ratty and falling apart!"

"You just don't know good boots when you see them." I shook my head, and then realized something. "Hey, I never did thank you for coming to see me. I would have had a lonely birthday otherwise."

Lera shrugged. "Eh. I was bored. Besides, you're the closest thing I have to a friend out here."

I was still thinking about how to repay her. "I just think I should do something for you... hey, you wanna see something neat?"

"What?"

I activated my omni-blade and showed it to her.

The two glowing spots behind her facemask grew large, and the curiosity was evident in her voice. "Oh wow, that _is_ neat. Is that what you stabbed the krogan with?"

"Yep. I can give you a copy of the program if you want."

"Would you? Something like that would be handy if a krogan tried to pin me again."

I sent her a copy, and she had experimented with it for a while before we arrived at the armor store. There were armors of various types, sizes and species-shapes lining the walls. The bright green salarian who managed the store seemed happy to see us, in contrast to the asari we spoke to previously.

"Ah, customers! Wonderful! Are you here to buy armor, or request repairs, modifications or customizations? I'd be happy to help you with anything!" The salarian spoke quickly but at least he fully structured his sentences, unlike a certain Doctor.

"I, uh, would like to see your armors."

"Good, good! If you'll come over here," the salarian walked over to one of the walls of the store, where there were several sets of armor for people with an asari-human body type, "You can look through these! They're meant for asari, but human females are quite similar. There are a few suits for quarians over there, if your friend is interested." Lera decided to go look at the sparsely supplied quarian section and left me with the salarian.

I saw several different designs, some of which were familiar from the first game. I saw two sets of Predator armor which were priced way beyond the four hundred and eighty credits I had on hand, a couple of Duelist designs, several Gladiator armors, a few of those horribly yellow Survivor sets and three Mercenary suits. As I looked over them, I noticed that most of them seemed worn down; some even had punctures in them. I looked over the info-holograms attached to each and realized that many of them didn't even have functioning shields, HUDs or communications. The ones that were somehow defunct were quite cheap, while the ones that functioned properly and were in good shape were highly-priced.

"Why are so many of these broken or horribly expensive?"

"Partly due to supply problems. It's not difficult to get a set of Gladiator armor because Elkoss Combine makes them and they're based here in the Terminus, but if you want something made by Armax Arsenal or Ariake Technologies, it has to be bought in Citadel Space and smuggled here."

_That would be why my omni-tool and pistol were both made by Elkoss Combine._

"The other issue is just simple economics. There's no one on Omega managing item quality, pricing or competition. People here charge what they want, and if someone else is selling lower they intimidate or blackmail them into changing their prices."

"Is that happening to you?"

"Not really, I just need the money to pay my bills and the smugglers."

I sighed. "Alright then, what is the least expensive set of armor you have that is still sealable and has working shields?"

The salarian frowned, then looked over the armors. After a moment, he pulled down a Gladiator and a Mercenary set, both lightly armored. "This one," he gestured to the Gladiator suit,"Is two hundred credits. It has functioning shields and no ruptures that I know of. However, this one, "he indicated towards the Mercenary suit, "Is practically brand new. It has a fully working shield system, HUD and internal communicator. It has better shield capacitors and impact resistance than the other one. It also costs four hundred credits."

_Ack. So either I get the cheaper, crappier set that would still probably work, or the more expensive but better suit. Ah well, this was the last thing on my list and it's pretty much an investment into my continued existence._

"I'll take the red one."

The salarian grinned. "_Excellent_. Would you like me to customize it for you? It's just twenty-five credits."

I thought about it briefly. "Ahh, sure, why not. Can I get it in all black, please? No other designs."

"Sure!" The pleased salarian storeowner carried my soon-to-be new black armor to the back of the store. Lera stopped browsing and came over.

"It sounds like you found some armor."

I sucked air though my teeth. "Yeah, very expensive though. I'm going to be completely cleaned out after this."

Lera looked at me curiously. "You know, you never did tell me where you got all those credits."

I hesitated for a moment, but decided I could trust her. I leaned toward her and whispered, "I stole some eezo from the Eclipse."

Lera reared back in shock. She was utterly silent for a moment. "_Reall_y? How did you accomplish _that?_"

I chuckled. "Very carefully."

"Wow." She shook off the surprise. "That's impressive."

"Not really. The first time I was nearly killed. The second time was pure luck."

"You stole from them _twice_?!" Her voice went up an octave.

I shushed her, as the salarian was coming back with an open case in his hands, black Mercenary armor nestled inside. "Here is your armor, human. That will be four hundred and twenty-five credits." I transferred the credits and he closed the case and handed it to me. "Have a good day!"

"You too!" I called back. It payed to be polite to people who were nice to you.

The armor weighed a bit more than I expected and with the bag of clothes in my other hand I felt a bit burdened down so we headed to the apartment complex to drop it all off, chatting about the benefits and downsides of the omni-blade the whole way. As we reached our destination, Lera suddenly stopped.

"Oh, I forgot, I had a job interview in an hour." She glanced at her omni-tool distractedly.

I was a bit sad to see her go, but a job interview was important. "That's okay. Thanks for shopping with me. Good luck with that interview."

"It was no problem. Bye!" she waved and headed off at a brisk pace.

Alone, I entered the complex. Taren was at the front desk. He gave me a look I didn't understand then went back to his datapad. "Your rent's up in a few days," he mentioned idly.

I grunted an acknowledgement as I made for the stairs.

"Did you hear about the Eclipse being stolen from?"

I stopped.

"They've been asking around Kima District for a human girl of your description. Apparently she's been stealing eezo from them."

I couldn't speak.

"If I were you, I'd be careful not to do anything stupid. Someone could end up mistaking you for that girl."

"What do you want?" I asked in a hollow voice.

He looked up at me with that strange expression again. "Why would I want anything? I just want you to pay your rent."

I turned away and walked down the stairs.

**AN: I don't think you guys realize how much research goes into this. I have at least one window browser open on the Mass Effect wiki at all times when writing this. Every manufacturer I mention was not randomly chosen, and I look up the effects of any injuries I get.**

**And with this chapter, I have over twenty thousand words! Holy hell! This is the longest story I have ever written.**

**And plot. Plotty things are happening. Plots are abound.**

**Ploooot.**


	10. Chapter 10

**October 16****th**

**02:34 OST**

I was home.

A joy unlike anything I'd ever felt spread though me. I was home. This was my Mom's house. The couch and loveseat were the same ones we'd had since I was eleven. The cat tree was in the corner, by the windows. Mom and Jimmy's extensive movie collection was on display in another corner. I could see the glass sliding door to the backyard from here. It was bright and shining outside. I hadn't realized how utterly _lost_ I had felt all this time until I had finally come home. The house was silent, but I paid it no mind. I just soaked in the feeling of being where I truly belonged.

I sat down on the couch and reveled in its familiar cushiness. Everything was still.

Suddenly, there was a noise in the kitchen. Hoping to see my family, tell them how happy I was to be back, I got up and ran around the corner.

I skidded to a halt.

There was a boy, not much older than me, slumped on the floor against the kitchen counter. He was wearing a reddish-brown vest, a tank top, cargo pants and boots. He had short brown hair and wide, hazel eyes. Those eyes were empty and glassy. His chest was still. His skin was pale and he was unhealthily thin. There was a bullet hole in his chest.

Everything was shaking, and I didn't know why. The boy seemed awfully familiar. Mesmerized, I stepped closer.

There was an abrupt noise from behind me. A gunshot. My left shoulder was suddenly in a lot of pain, but I couldn't move, couldn't run away. I felt frozen. The kitchen was fading away quickly, and I desperately tried to make it stop, make the happiness and safety and feeling of home come back, but it slipped though my fingers. All I could see was black. I felt the barrel of a gun pressed against my forehead. Everything was spinning, I couldn't breathe. My stomach was twisting itself into knots from fear and hunger. I was choking, I couldn't breathe _I couldn't breathe-_

My eyes opened.

I was in my tiny room in an apartment complex on Omega in the Mass Effect universe.

I was shaking and nauseous. Slowly sitting up and resting my back against the wall, I cradled my head in my hands and tried to breathe. I felt cold all over, even in the temperature-controlled artificial environment. After a moment, the nausea subsided and my breathing slowed.

My dreams had been getting increasingly worrying in the past few weeks, but this was something else. This was a full-on nightmare. I supposed that the stress of all the dangerous shit I had gone though would have some effect on me, but I wasn't sure how to deal with this. I hadn't had nightmares that vivid or terrifying before.

I looked at my omni-tool's clock. It was the start of Omega's twenty-hour time measurement, a full three hours before I usually got up. I laid down again, but it became fairly apparent I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, so I got up and started putting on my armor. Exercising would help me clear my head.

I had taken to exercising in my armor for a few reasons. Firstly, it gave me practice in getting it on and off. Secondly, it weighed a few pounds and added extra difficulty to routines that had begun to seem easy. Thirdly it let me get used to moving around in it. My flexibility in the armor had been hampered somewhat and doing jumping jacks in a full-body suit had been an interesting experience, but it was doing its job. I was beginning to adjust to the suit.

I had also used that time to learn how to use the HUD properly. It had taken me a few days to be able to focus on both the display on the visor and on something else in front of me at the same time.

And now that I had access to a shielding system, I was able to test and debug an overload program meant to disable shields. I had made a lot of progress there and expected it to be complete soon.

With some examination, a long standing oddity of the Mass Effect games had been resolved when it came to the helmets. To my great surprise, I discovered that the helmet was actually collapsible and folded down to about the size of an unfolded pistol. The folded helmet then easily stuck to any of the various magnetic strips placed on the armor. The piece that covered the mouth in hostile environments was in fact part of the whole helmet and was retractable with a button press.

_Makes a hell of a lot more sense that just appearing and disappearing at different times. Then again this is reality, where shit like that doesn't fly._

I finished my usual exercises and carefully removed the armor. I had considered wearing it at all times, Omega being as dangerous as it was, but I ran faster out of it for now and I didn't want people nearby to be able to recognize me in it.

Grabbing my pistol, I left my room locked the door and went up to the lobby. Taren wasn't there, this still being around the time he slept. Instead, a turian friend of his was at the desk, fiddling with his omni-tool. I was very thankful, as since my birthday I'd been trying to avoid Taren. I couldn't be sure, but I got the distinct feeling that he had been threatening me that day and I didn't want to talk to him and find out. The turian glanced up at me, but then went back to what he was doing. I left the building and started walking to the alley I had been learning to shoot in.

Learning to shoot was not going nearly as well as learning to use my omni-tool or armor had.

In my previous universe I had absorbed a few good pointers for shooting via various sources: space your feet, hold the gun with both hands, don't lock your elbows, relax your shoulders, aim down the top of the gun, take a breath and hold it before firing for more accuracy, squeeze the trigger instead of 'pulling' it. Most of it proved to be good advice, but it just wasn't enough. Even having better eyesight only seemed to make a very small difference.

I had found an alley not too far from the apartment complex with graffiti that acted as suitable targets. I would stand with my back right up against the wall and aim at the opposite, providing a distance of about eight or nine feet.

Much to my dismay, even at that range and after several weeks practice, I was only hitting my target once in every six to seven shots. I didn't know what the issue was, if it was something I was doing wrong or if it was just a lack of experience, but it left me frustrated all the same.

I had let off eleven shots in the past minute. My ears had slowly gotten used to the sound, but that many in short succession had left a buzz in them. My hands were tingling and my arms were a bit sore. I wanted to scream. Every single shot had missed.

"Goddamnit!" I growled.

An amused voice came from the entrance of the alley. "Why are you always damning your god?"

I nearly jumped out of my own skin and turned to the source of the sudden voice. Lera was there. She took a step back and raised her hands.

"Woah, hey, it's okay! It's just me!"

Confused at her response, I looked down and saw that I had been aiming the gun at her. I quickly pointed it away and took my finger off the trigger. I felt a bit shaky. "Sorry, sorry. You startled me."

She put her hands down. "It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you."

I took a few deep breaths to calm down. I let go of my pistol with one hand and pressed it to my forehead. "Yeah, I've just been… tense lately. How did you find me?"

Lera crossed her arms. "I asked the guy at the front desk if you were in. He said he saw you leave not too long ago, and I heard the shooting from over there."

I dropped my hand and looked at her skeptically. "Sooo, you decided to walk _toward_ the gunshots? And you call _me_ reckless."

"It was too even and measured to be anything but practice shots." She responded in a sure voice.

I shrugged. "Eh, yeah I guess. Still wasn't very safe of you."

She gestured to the gun in my right hand. "No kidding! I thought you were about to shoot me there."

I let out a self-depreciating snort. "Like I would have even hit you, look at that!" I pointed to my improvised bullseye.

She just looked at it for a while. "…were you trying to hit that?"

"Yep."

"Feel free to point your gun at me in the future. I don't think it'll be a cause for concern."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for all your support and encouragement."

"You're very welcome."

If sarcasm had been a liquid we would have been swimming in it.

"Anyways," I sighed,"Is this a social visit?"

Lera came a few steps closer and her voice lowered. "I just wanted to check up on you. You've been a bit off since the Eclipse started looking for you."

I lowered my volume to match hers. "Well, _yeah_! I have a mercenary gang after me! But as long as I stay in Blue Suns territory I'm safe. The Eclipse won't risk a turf war for one thief."

She didn't respond for a moment. This was something we'd been disagreeing on. "I suppose, but it would still scare me. How are you doing, in terms of stress?"

I considered telling her about my dream and how disturbed I'd been feeling lately, but I held back. "I-I'm fine. I'm just a bit tense. A few months of lying low and everything should blow over."

Lera tilted her head to the side. "Err, 'blow over?'"

"Oh! Sorry. It, uhh, means 'calm down'." Lera had gotten pretty good with human sayings after two months of knowing me, but sometimes I still confused her.

"Ah."

We were silent for a moment.

"You know I don't really agree with that. Hiding isn't going to make the problem go away."

I sighed. _Not this again. _We had already talked about this before, and it was getting old. "And why not? I have everything that I needed lots of credits for, I can feed myself and pay rent without risky stunts like stealing eezo, why can't I just stay in Gozu District?"

Lera pointed a finger at me. "Someone could sell you out. You know how most of the people are here!"

"Most people here don't care!" I gestured out towards the street, where there were a few people walking by, not at all concerned about an armed human and a quarian arguing. "As long as I don't steal from them and stay out of their way, they don't give a rat's ass what I do."

"It's cowardly, hiding like this!"

For a second I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. "…Cowardly? Fine. Yeah. I'm cowardly. I'm also alive. I intend on staying that way." Lera threw up her hands and started pacing. My eyes followed her movement. "What do you want me to do, Lera? Steal from them again? Attack them? What could I possibly do?"

"_I don't know._ Something other than just being reactionary! Spy on them, find some weakness, some blackmail…"

Something occurred to me. "Why are you so upset by this?"

Lera stopped pacing and was still for a while. Her eventual response was calmer. "…you're my friend. If they kill you, I don't have anyone else on this rock. You've helped me before, I'm trying to help you now."

"Okay, but this isn't helping. Right now, my best course of action is to just stay out of sight."

She sighed. "Fine, if you think that's best. How about we go get something to eat?" I quickly agreed, pocketing my pistol.

I knew she would probably pick up the debate again some other time, she was very stubborn, but for now she had conceded. I didn't understand why Lera insisted on _doing_ something when it would obviously lead to me getting killed. She seemed like a very forceful and proactive person, she might not like being on the defensive. It was just a bit odd to me.

As we passed an intersection I felt myself tense up and look down the other alley, half expecting for someone to jump out and put a gun to my head. Nothing happened and we passed without incident, but the worry never completely left me.

_It's nothing. I'm just stressed. I'll get over it._

My hand never left my gun.

**October 29****th**

**12:08 OST**

I was walking slowly along the aisles of the store, a place that sold preserved fruit that was on the edge of Gozu District, trying to appear casual while keeping an eye on a well-dressed asari I had been following for a while. She had several containers as she went up to the cashier. _Even better_. As she transferred the payment to the cashier, I swiped thirty credits from her account. The brief glance I had gotten at her bank balance told me she wouldn't miss it.

As I quietly left the store, I heard a commotion from up the street. I chose to walk the other way and not get involved in what was likely either a domestic dispute or a border skirmish. Instead of getting farther away, however, the sounds appeared to only be getting closer. There were a couple of footsteps going in the same direction I was. It was the distinctive noise of walking mechs that made me stop in fear.

_Oh dear great lord above I'm fucked._

I made for the nearest alley and when I heard the mechs do the same I started running. I heard the feet behind me speed up as well. I spared a glance behind me, and my suspicions were confirmed. An Eclipse merc, a salarian, and two mechs were chasing me. As I looked, the salarian pulled out his pistol and started shooting at me.

I turned to watch in front of me and ran faster. My heart was going a mile a second and a cool, logical calm started to spread over my mind like ice. I let it, remembering how it had helped me before.

_Break line of sight, hack mechs, let them disable salarian._

I made a sharp turn at another entrance and activated my omni-tool.

_wait_

The second the mechs came into view, I sent a command to each to attack the salarian.

_no, don't_

The mechs immediately turned on the organic and started firing.

_stop, stop!_

Caught by surprise, the salarian didn't try to get in cover.

_he'll die!_

His shields were torn down in seconds. I watched with horror as the salarian was shot to death by my hacked mechs.

The body fell to the floor. The mechs stood there, silently awaiting their next order.

There was so much green. Green on him, green on the ground, green on the walls. I looked down at myself. Green on me.

I was at the apartment complex. Which was odd, because I didn't remember getting there. The mechs were gone. My gun was in my hand. I still had green on me. I walked in.

A red-tinged batarian was looking at me. He was walking towards me, talking at me. I couldn't understand a word he said. He was getting too close. I pointed my gun at him. He stopped moving, but he kept talking more. Eventually the words started to make sense.

"-rry, put the gun down! I'm-I'm not going to attack you or anything! Can you understand me?"

I wanted him to "Stay away."

"O-okay, just, please, put the gun down."

I lowered my pistol. He stayed where he was.

"Shawna," _That's my name, isn't it? He knows my name. Don't I know his?_ "Are you okay? You're covered in blood-"

I suddenly remembered his name. It was "Taren."

His face changed. I didn't know what it meant. "Yes, that's me. Can you tell me what happened?"

I remembered "an Eclipse merc, with two mechs. They chased me and I hacked the mechs. I don't really… remember much after that."

He looked down at my clothes, and then looked at me. He was quiet. Then, he said, "It's going to be okay."

"No. It's not."

**AN: This was an… interesting chapter to write. The ending wasn't entirely planned from the start, I intended for it to be a close shave, not… this. But this is how it ended up, and I hope you all think it works.**


	11. Chapter 11

**October 31****st**

**05:11 OST**

The confusion appeared to be temporary. The memory blackout and mental trauma was not.

I was on my cot, back to the wall, knees pulled up to my chest, arms wrapped around them. I hadn't slept or eaten since I arrived at the apartment complex with no recollection of how I got there besides the gun in my hand and the blood on my clothes. My thoughts had been so disorganized that I hadn't even recognized Taren at first. He had, much to my surprise, tried to calm me down and get me to talk. Some part of me was still wary, but he had ample opportunity to take advantage of my condition and all he had done was bring me to my room and leave me alone when I requested it.

I couldn't remember how I had gotten from there to here, but I definitely remembered what had happened. The salarian's body falling to the ground had been playing out in my head over and over, chasing away any chance of sleep and leaving me in a constant loop of terror and regret. Time became skewed the longer I went without sleep, and what seemed like only a few moments could have been hours. All I could think about was that body being riddled with holes, and then falling.

A person, a sentient being, was dead because of me.

I had killed someone. The fact that I hadn't pulled the trigger myself was irrelevant. The fact that I had been essentially on adrenalin-induced autopilot was irrelevant. Someone had stopped existing because I had decided that my continued existence was more important than theirs. This was an utter contradiction of all my morals and beliefs.

_He'd probably done horrible things._

_He might not have either, I'll never know._

Some part, some internal piece of my mind or soul felt hollow, like someone had taken a spoon to it and carved it out like a pumpkin. Idly, I remembered that it was Halloween on Earth, in America at least. Not that it mattered here.

_All the harm he would have done won't happen now._

_He'll never have a chance to do any good, either._

I had removed my omni-tool and threw it to the other side of the room. I didn't see where it landed but I couldn't bring myself to care. I didn't want to use it ever again. The pistol was resting next to me on the cot. I hadn't decided what to do with it yet.

_It was him or me._

_It should have been me._

I didn't belong here. It was as simple as that. Had this been my own universe I would have eventually accepted it as being a matter of self-defense. But he had belonged here and I didn't. My existing had caused him to die.

I carefully picked up the gun and held it in my hand, feeling the weight of the cold metal. My door made a pinging noise. I ignored it.

_My existence here is an anomaly. If I hadn't been here, he would still be alive._

_That logic is flawed. If something similar had happened in my natural universe, it still would have been caused by me. There is no true difference between this happening here or there._

The door pinged again.

_So, what, is it acceptable that he is dead while I am not?_

_Morally repugnant? Yes. Acceptable? No. Forgivable? Maybe. It was him or me._

_And what gives me the right to live while he doesn't?_

I sat quietly for a while, weighing the pistol in my hands. The pinging got louder. Eventually, the door opened, revealing Lera and Taren. She must have gotten him to open the door for her. I didn't look at them. Both went stock still, seemingly surprised to see the state of me, but Lera shook it off and walked up to me to take the gun out of my hands.

"That's not yours. Give it back." My voice was hoarse.

Lera attached it to her hip. "I'm holding on to it, so you don't do anything stupid. Taren told me what happened." Taren said nothing. He was still standing by the door, perfectly still.

_Figures._ "Whether or not I choose to be stupid is my choice, not yours. Give it back."

Lera shook her head. "No. I understand you're rattled, but this is ridiculous-"

She wasn't getting it. "Lera, this wasn't some accident or near-death experience. _I killed someone_."

"You did what you had to, the same as anyone else! People kill other people every day for the dumbest things, credits, drugs, jealousy, you name it! You killed to keep yourself alive. I think that makes it okay."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

She seemed offended by that. "…I know, with certainty, that I would kill for the Migrant Fleet. For my people."

"Yes, for other people. But just to save your own skin?"

"Probably."

I sighed. "I need some time, to deal with this on my own."

"But you don't have to do it on your own. I'm here, I can help. Don't push me away!" Lera sounded honestly upset. I was sorry I worried her, but I needed her to go away.

"This is something I have to do _alone_." Lera rocked back at the coldness of my voice. I softened my tone. "Just give me back my gun and leave."

She was silent, and then spoke with resignation. "If you want to be alone, fine. But I'm not giving this back until you come out of this room and find me." She left the room and went up the stairs. Taren watched her leave before looking back at me. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but he thought better of it and left, closing my door as he went. I was alone again.

_It was him or me._

_And what gave me the right to live?_

_What gives anyone the 'right' to live? People die of natural or accidental causes all the time, didn't they have a 'right' to live? It was an instinctual reaction, nothing more. I wanted to live, he was trying to kill me._

_A life should be worth more than instinct. It shouldn't be so easy to rationalize killing someone._

_But it is. It's messed up, but there it is._

_I can't accept that._

_I don't have to. I just have to live with it._

_I don't know if I can._

_I can try. _

I didn't know how long it had been since Lera left, but it felt like time had passed. I carefully uncurled myself and got up from the cot. Feeling around on the floor, I found my omni-tool. I hesitated putting it on, but reminded myself that it was just an inanimate object, a useful tool. I reattached it to my wrist. Slowly, I stood up from the floor and went to the door.

_Why am I doing this? Why am I even trying?_

_Because I don't know what else to do._

I opened the door.

**November 7****th**

**02:03 OST**

Five gunshots rang out in short succession. Four of them were off by nearly half a foot, but one hit the target. I was getting better.

Sleep was growing more and more elusive for me, so my newfound extra time was spent working on my programming or my aim. The latter was slowly improving; the former seemed to have hit a plateau. It might have been the exhaustion, but it was harder to concentrate on numbers and abstracts lately. The rhythmic firing of my gun made more sense than dozens of intertwining if-then statements.

Taren was worried about me. I didn't know how I knew, but the way he looked at me when I left my room every day said he wasn't sure if I would be coming back. He didn't speak to me unless I approached him first and when he did it was in a very careful tone, like he was afraid of startling me. Lera stopped by regularly, but she was insistent on 'helping' me. When she tried to get me to talk, which was often, I would ignore her or tell her it was none of her business. She wouldn't stop, she kept pushing me and I would get more and more frustrated with how she didn't understand.

That was another thing I noticed. I was getting frustrated easier, like my temper's fuse had a few inches cut off. Every little racist remark from people on the street, every skeptical look Lera gave me when I told her I was fine, it just made my blood boil. I would try to hide in my room and calm down, but when everything was quiet I could still hear the sound of bullets ripping through flesh and I had to turn on some loud music or go out and lose myself in the crowd for a bit. I actually went out to a club for the first time in my life. I didn't drink, I hated mind-altering chemicals, but the dancing and loudness helped drown out everything else.

And I just… existed. I was horribly damaged, I knew that, but I was hanging on.

I hadn't seen or heard from the Eclipse. I was very glad for that. They were probably still pissed at me, especially after what happened-

_bullets impacting shields then flesh then green everywhere and the body fell_

I pressed a hand to my head. _Stop it, stop thinking about it._

- after what happened, they were probably even more ticked off now. I had been avoiding going around the edges of the district and sticking to busy streets and areas where the Blue Suns were more active. I hoped that would be enough.

I grabbed my pistol again with both hands and fired. Seven shots. Two hits.

Something that could pass for a smile stretched my lips.

**AN: I'm sorry for this chapter's lateness and shortness. My sleep schedule kinda imploded and I've been extra tired lately. This chapter was difficult to get out; I fully rewrote the first part twice. I needed to speed up the plot schedule a bit, but I didn't want to have me/the SI move on too quickly from what is a massive trauma. The events of chapter ten threw my tentative plot into disarray, and I had to figure out how things were going to work out from here on out.**

**If anyone's interested, I wrote chapters 1-10 while listening to "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo, whereas this chapter was written to "Something Beautiful" by Oleander. **


	12. Chapter 12

**November 15****th**

**18:29 OST**

I was undeniably an introvert. Between my social inability, odd behavior and fondness for intellectual pursuits, I had spent the vast majority of my free time alone my whole life, and I was perfectly content with that. If I wanted to socialize I sought out my family or visited an online forum. Otherwise, I lived in my own little world.

Recently, this had changed. Now, every moment that wasn't spent on training, stealing or getting one or two hour naps I was around other people. I was practically living in Gozu District's only club, the Lagrange Point.

Lagrange Point was small, especially in comparison to Omega's more famous Afterlife, but it was clean, well-kept and had loud music. It was owned by a turian couple, the wife acting as a bartender while the husband was a bouncer. They shared management duties and considered the club a jointly-owned establishment. And it only showed how much time I'd already spent there that that not only did I know all this but the husband, an almost brownish turian with green face tattoos, didn't even look at me as I walked in, he just yelled, "Have fun and buy something this time!" as I passed.

…_well, I suppose I have been circumventing their main income source this whole time. Maybe they have juice._

There were a good twenty or so people in the club, over half of which was on the dance floor. The lighting was a nice, soft violet and the music was some sort of techno-dubstep hybrid with an alien singing so fast my translator couldn't keep up. A large number of the patrons were batarians, with most of the other common 'Omega' races represented in smaller numbers.

The loudness and crowds of people would have driven me crazy once. Now, I just let myself get lost in the rush for a moment, finally deaf to the memories.

I made my way to the bar and took a seat. The wife, a woman with silvery-grey skin and black colony-markings, was currently serving a purple asari one of those strange, glowy pink drinks. The asari made a gesture of thanks and walked off with her alcohol. The female turian turned to me.

"Hey, I think I've see you around here. You finally getting something to drink? You look like you could use some loosening up."

"Ah, actually, do you serve non-alcoholic drinks? I'm not fond of being intoxicated."

"Yeah, we've got some levo-amino juice, if you're sure you don't want something stronger…?"

"No thanks. Just juice, please." She reached under the bar for one of those liquid-tube-containers and a glass. Something occurred to me. "You serve a lot of people, how did you recognize me?"

"Well, I've only seen a couple humans in here and you've been coming by a lot in the past week. You stand out." The turian poured my juice and passed it to me. It was an off-putting lime green color but smelled pleasant, so I tried a sip. It reminded me of mango juice but it had an unexpected bitter tang to it. I nodded to her and muttered a 'thank you'. The bartender left to serve some other patrons and left me to my drink.

The lack of back on the stool I was sitting on prevented me from leaning back so I leant forward on my elbows and watched the people around me, occasionally taking a sip. There were two others nursing drinks at the bar two seats down from me, an older-looking turian and a krogan. The turian was wearing green and brown dappled armor and the krogan was wearing black armor with red highlights. They seemed vaguely familiar; I might have stolen from them at some point. The turian had face markings that reminded me of Garrus. _Is he from Palaven, then?_ I wasn't about to go ask, but it was interesting to think about.

That was, until the turian turned to look at me and shouted over the noise at me. "What're you looking at, human?"

I tensed up, but not from the hostility in his tone. I recognized that voice. That turian was the one who gave me the scar on my shoulder. I froze, wanting to start running, but stuck in place by remembered fear. They killed a salarian in cold blood- _they're not the only ones_- and if they recognized me they might do the same to me. I looked away, but by then I'd already caught their attention.

The turian got up and walked over to me, the krogan looking on. He put a hand on the bar and leaned in just outside of my personal bubble. "Hey, I asked you a question. What are you looking at?"

I figured an honest response wouldn't hurt. "I-I was looking at your colony markings, they mean you're from Palaven, right? I met another turian with those markings, he said he was from Palaven." I didn't look directly at him, hoping that he wouldn't remember me. He probably wouldn't, but I didn't want to risk it.

This seemed to make him calm down a bit. "Yeah, they do. And how did you know what our markings mean?"

"I knew the guy for a while, he told me about it." I did in fact know Garrus for a while, he just didn't know me.

The turian tilted his head and made an odd noise, his mandibles twitching. "I wouldn't have expected a monkey to pay attention to turian customs. Maybe you aren't all idiots."

I didn't react to the racial slur; I'd already been called worse things on a regular basis. "No, we're not. I apologize for disturbing you." I turned away and took a gulp of my drink, the bitterness lingering on my tongue.

He didn't leave, however. He was looking at me closely. "You know, you seem familiar…"

Fear raced down my spine. "Y-You probably have me confused with some other human, I know I, ah, sometimes confuse people of, uh, other races." Actually, I didn't often confuse people. My brain was good at remembering the differences in someone's face and voice. If I saw or heard someone at least two times I wouldn't be forgetting them anytime soon.

He didn't seem convinced, because he only leant in closer. "No, I think I've seen that color of head fur before…" I leaned away and looked at him. He stared at me for a moment before his eyes widened and his mandibles lowered slightly. "You. You're that one-"

I got up and tried to leave, but the krogan had gotten up and was in my way. I edged away from them. My hands were shaking. I curled them into fists to try and hide it.

The turian still seemed surprised. "You're that human from a couple months ago."

The krogan looked at his partner. "You sure?"

He nodded. "Pretty sure."

"The owners would be pissed if you tried to start a fight in here," I reminded them in a barely even voice, looking from one to the other.

They shot a look at each other and then looked back at me. We just stood there for a bit, until the krogan went back to his seat. The turian slid into the seat next to me. I gradually sat back down and, still looking sideways at the turian, grabbed my juice. The bartender made another round by us, and she gave us a hard glance.

"No one's starting any trouble over here?"

The turian shook his head. "No ma'am." She nodded and went back to the busier half of the bar.

After a few tense moments, the turian turned his head towards me. "So, I'm kinda curious, how did you get away? We were chasing you and it was like you just… disappeared." His two-toned voice was light. I relaxed slightly.

"I jumped in a dumpster," I replied with a deadpan voice. "You passed by me twice."

The turian's mandibles fully lowered this time. "_You jumped in a_- Spirits, I feel stupid now."

"If it makes you feel better, you managed to shoot me. The wound got infected and it hurt like a bitch."

"That _does_ make me feel better." He waved at the bartender and asked for a drink I didn't recognize the name of. It was brought over to him quickly.

I finished off my drink and turned to the turian. "I suppose I should thank you."

He took a chug of the bright blue liquid he had ordered. "And why's that?"

"Now I have a nice big scar to remind me what happens when I get curious."

He laughed, and I almost smiled.

**November 18****th**

**10:36 OST**

"Today's your _birthday_?!" My eyes were wide with shock. "Why didn't you tell me? I don't have a gift for you!"

Lera shifted her weight back and waved away my protests. "Quarians don't give gifts on birthdays like humans do. Besides, you don't have any credits to spare."

"You still could have told me!" I propped myself up against my doorframe. "What do quarians do for birthdays?"

She shrugged. "Not much, actually." Lera began gesturing vigorously, something I suspected was a quarian quirk developed due to the lack of face-to-face contact. "It is acknowledged, but the Migrant Fleet doesn't have much in the way of party supplies and gifts are generally unheard of. The only points in a quarian's lifetime that are celebrated are their birth, their first suit, their Pilgrimage and marriage."

"Hm. Most human cultures celebrate the birthday with some sort of party or gift-giving. We also have our own rites of passage, but they're not as easily defined as the quarian Pilgrimage and come at different times for each individual." I thought of how in the time I lived, in America the commonly accepted 'rites of passage' were often graduation from high school, moving out of their parent's home or going to college. A brief memory of my own high school graduation flitted across my mind, it had been abnormally rainy and utterly miserable, but I swiftly pushed it aside. "Anyways, how old are you now?"

"Twenty-two."

I cocked my head to one side when I remembered Tali had been around that age in the first game. "Do quarians start their Pilgrimage at twenty-one, then?"

"Around the twenty-first birthday, yes. Though, it can be sooner or later depending on unique circumstances."

"You've been here for an entire year?" Even though I was likely going to live here for years, the thought of a whole year still disturbed me.

One of her three-fingered hands went up to her head cloth and adjusted it. "Nearly. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get off this rock. I'm saving up credits, but it's just not enough. I need thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of credits to buy an acceptable gift, I only have two thousand after one year!"

I almost suggested stealing from the Eclipse, it was risky but highly profitable, but the thought was ludicrous. I'd already gotten a target painted on me with the shit I pulled earlier and she was just the type to agree to something like that. Instead I hummed sympathetically and looked away.

"I just hate that I'm stuck here!" Lera was pacing now. "I could buy a ticket off of here and get to the Citadel, but then I'd be down several hundred credits and there I would be breaking laws just by standing somewhere. At least here people don't bother me as long as I don't bother them. It's just, agh, I want out of here!"

I could empathize. If I saved for a while I might be able to afford a spot on a ship out of here, but there was an uncomfortable probability of being stolen from, murdered or sold into slavery when getting onto the ships that docked here. And on more 'civilized' worlds, my method of revenue would land me in jail very quickly. But this place was slowly eroding my soul. Every random gunshot, every passed mugging, every degrading comment on my race and threat on my life was numbing me on the inside. I wanted out.

"I understand. Trust me, I do. But there's not much that can be done. Maybe you'll find someone who'll hire you full time and you can get enough to get out of here."

She sighed. "Yeah, that'd be nice. Maybe while I'm at it I can find a way of destroying the geth and taking back the homeworld."

I frowned. "There's no need to be sarcastic. It's within the realm of possibility that you'll get a good job. You at least have work experience and quarians are mostly accepted here."

She snorted. "_Mostly_, she says. I still get called 'suit rat' often enough."

"I get called a 'damn son-of-a-pyjak-fucker'. And no one will even hire me. Stop being so negative."

Lera looked at me with what I knew was a skeptical look. "You're calling _me_ negative? You still-"

"Lera." I was suddenly tense. I did not want to have this discussion again.

"Don't 'Lera' me! You barely sleep anymore, Taren tells me you're never in your room for more than a few hours at a time! You're always out shooting at that wall or hiding in a club! You talk to me about my problems but when I try to talk about you it's suddenly 'oh, I don't have a problem, I need to handle this myself, I don't need my friends!' It's not good for you, all this avoiding-"

"I'm not avoiding anything!" I knew that was a lie, but I just wanted her to stop. "I just- I need to work this out on my own. You can't help me."

"I can't help you because you won't let me!" Her voice was getting louder. "You keep pushing me away whenever I try to get close!"

The anger was building up in me again, and my nerves were all tied up in knots. "Because you do nothing but smother me! I need some space, Lera!"

"I'm smothering you?! By trying to be a good friend?!" Lera' tone was disbelieving. She had moved so close to me I could almost make out her irises behind her mask.

"_Yes_," I practically hissed at her, "_you are_!"

She said nothing. She just glared at me for a while, then turned on her heel and started to leave.

The second she left my sightline, I regretted it. I raced after her and caught her as she was leaving the complex. "Lera, wait, I'm-"

"Shut up. I'm done. I _might_ talk to you later." Her voice was so cold it froze me in place and I watched helplessly as she walked away.

I stood there for a while and cussed myself out, feeling so utterly lost and guilty for pushing her away I could barely move. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to chase her, to apologize over and over until she called me an idiot like she usually does and forgives me, but I didn't think that would work this time.

_God, I fucked up. I fucked up real bad._

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me. A hand touched my shoulder, and my heart rate went through the roof. I twisted around and was about to punch whatever it was that was attacking me before I saw that it was Taren. All four of his eyes were wide and he jerked back from me. I backed off and lowered my fist.

"Ugh, God, I am so sorry, Taren, I just- sorry. I really didn't mean-"

He spoke reassuringly. "It's okay. I'm sorry for startling you."

I grimaced and wrapped my arms around myself, looking away. "Goddamnit, what is wrong with me? I just drove Lera away and now I'm trying to punch you?"

"I think Lera'll come back. She bugs me about you far too often to just give up on you like that."

"Maybe." He had a point, but a pit of nervousness and regret was forming in my stomach.

Taren was quiet, seemingly thinking something over. "It'll be okay, she'll come around. How about you and I go hang out somewhere? Reyik should be here soon to watch the front and we can go to Lagrange Point and get a drink."

I just nodded.

We waited for a while until Taren's turian friend, apparently named Reyik, showed up to take Taren's place at the desk. We headed to the club in silence. When we got there, the bouncer wasn't the male turian but a krogan with big black armor and a deep red crest. I'd seen him only twice and each time he gave me a hard time before letting me in. He took one look at Taren, however, and just nodded.

The club was a bit quieter around this time, no one was on the dance floor and only a handful were at the bar. Taren and I took two seats and waited for the bartender to come by. It was a batarian this time, who seemed happy to see Taren.

"Taren, hey! How've you been?" He was grinning, revealing sharp, needle-like teeth.

"I've been good, Ayat, how about you?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Old Vertius pays pretty well; I got a new apartment recently."

I gathered that these two were good friends, but that wasn't surprising. Taren had a lot of friends, he was just a nice guy like that. He looked genuinely happy for Ayat. "That's great! I bet Uki's happy."

"Oh, she's ecstatic. She's been looking for new plants and furniture for the past three days." Ayat suddenly noticed me sitting there watching the whole exchange. He turned back to Taren, head tipped slightly sidewise. "Speaking of which… who's this? You hang out with humans now?" There was an odd lilt to his tone I couldn't place.

Taren shook his head slightly. "No, well, yeah, but she's a tenant. We're sort of friends." His bottom eyes narrowed at the word 'friends'.

I was quite confused at what all that meant, but decided to just move past it. "Hi, I'm Shawna." I hadn't seen any batarian shake hands before, so I didn't offer my hand. I just nodded to him, hoping that would be polite enough.

Ayat's two left eyes were wider than his right, but he nodded back at me. "I'm Ayat. Nice to meet you. Can I get you two something to drink?"

Taren ordered some sort of batarian wine while I asked for the green juice I'd been having whenever I came here. Taren looked over at me oddly. "You do know there's no age restriction on drinking here?"

"I don't like alcohol, or any mind-altering substance actually. I hate feeling fuzzy or out of control. It's just personal preference." Ayat came back with my bright lime green drink and another that was an opaque white for Taren. I thanked him and drank a little, enjoying the sweet-bitter combination I was becoming fond of.

"So, you like the music here?" Taren asked, watching an asari and a salarian entering.

I shrugged. The singing was still too fast and erratic for my translator to pick up, but the instrumental was nice. "Eh, it's alright. I might like it more if I could understand the lyrics."

He threw me a surprised glance. "Wow, your translator must be faulty. Where'd you get it?"

My mind went back to the body in the alley that first day. "You don't want to know." I took a big gulp of my juice.

There was an awkward moment of silence, then I remembered something I had wanted to ask for a while. "So, how did you end up here anyways? You seem too nice to be a mercenary or slaver."

Taren swirled his wine, not looking at me. "My brother was a merc. We grew up on Anhur. We were some of the few batarians on the abolitionist side of the Rebellion."

At first I was horrible confused, but then I remembered vaguely reading about Anhur on the Mass Effect wiki. It was a mainly human and batarian colony and there had been some big war over slavery there. A big mercenary company, the Eclipse if I remembered right, got involved and the abolitionists won. "Oh. Is your brother with the Eclipse then?" That made me very worried. Taren hadn't said anything about this before.

"Was." His tone left no doubt as to his meaning.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's alright. It was a while ago. Anyways, after the Rebellion was over he decided to join the Eclipse. I didn't hear from him for a month, and then he calls me up and says that he had a stable posting here on Omega and he wanted me to come over. We didn't always agree on things, but the one thing we did agree on was that we hated the Hegemony. That's partly why we joined the Abolitionists and why I jumped at the chance to get off of Anhur. I got a job here and settled in, but six months later my brother died in some skirmish with the Blood Pack. I've been on Omega for almost two years now."

I was truly sad for him, and tried to make it clear in my voice. "I'm sorry."

"Like I said, it was a while ago." He had been gradually emptying his glass of wine throughout his tale, and with that he finished it off. He called Ayat over to get him another one. "How about you? How'd you end up here?"

I was a bit taken aback, but I had thought about this beforehand and was able to collect myself quickly. "Ah, well. I had been born on a civilian cargo ship. My mom was a communications officer, the rest of my family worked in different parts of the ship. I got to see lots of places and different species growing up. When I got old enough I decided I wanted to try and get accepted into a college so I could get a nice, high paying job on solid ground. I went Illium to see if they'd accept me there, but they turned me down. When the transport my family had hired showed up to the rendezvous with my home-ship, we found them in pieces." Though the story was a fabrication, it was close enough to the truth to make a crushing sadness come over me. "It looked like pirates or slavers hit them. No life signs. The crew of the transport took nearly everything I owned as payment, and then they dropped me off here with nothing but my clothes. That was almost five months ago."

Taren appeared shocked. By this time we were finishing off our second glasses. "Wow. That's… I'm really sorry, Shawna."

I looked down at the bottom of my empty cup. I almost regretted that it hadn't been alcohol. "Yeah, well. I've come to realize that's just how things are out here. No point in lingering on it." I just really wanted to stop thinking about it. I had been getting by this whole time by keeping my family out of my mind, but this just brought it all to the surface. I felt my eyes start to water, but I shut them and forced the sadness and the memories away. It was getting harder and harder each time. I took a deep breath.

"So, what kind of music do you like?" I redirected.

**November 28****th**

**19:34 OST**

Hearing someone being threatened from an alley I was passing was not a new thing. This time it sounded like a batarian holding an asari at gunpoint. I felt the usual regret at not stopping, but my hand went up to touch my left shoulder. _Don't get curious._ I kept walking, still very tense.

However, after a few seconds someone came running out of the alley, into the mostly-empty street and right into me. I made a quick one-eighty and shoved the assailant away. The dusky blue asari let out a soft gasp and fell to the ground. The batarian mugger ran out of the alley and stopped a short ways away, bringing up his gun to point it at me.

A thrill of adrenalin shot thought me and I instinctively activated my omni-tool, intending on sabotaging his pistol, but a sudden bout of nausea stopped me. All I could think of was hacking those mechs and the bullets and the green everywhere-

Two gunshots rang out and there was a familiar pain in my right side. I dropped to one knee and pressed my hands against the bullet hole. The batarian was walking closer. I reached into my coat pocket for my gun, but he was on me before I could get it out. He pressed his pistol to my head.

He was obviously pissed "Don't move! Why are you here?"

I was shaking. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know if it was from the pain or the fear.

"Damnit, I said why are you here!?"

The asari tried to scramble off the ground, but he quickly aimed at her, making her freeze. "You stay right there!" his gun came back to me. He was yelling now. "Why the hell are you here?!"

"S-She ran i-into me! I had _nothing_ to do with this!" I shouted.

He didn't respond or move away. I started to panic when the asari reached out and with a rush of blue energy the batarian went flying to the other side of the street.

_Biotics. Huh._

She took off running. I got up from the ground, but I was still in a lot of pain. I staggered away from the scene as fast as I could, eager to be gone by the time the gun-wielding batarian got up. I cast a few looks behind me, but I didn't see him the whole way to the clinic.

I stumbled into the clinic, blood running down my leg and hands clamped around my wound. The employees took one look at me and rushed me into the ER, no questions asked. I was injected with something and in a minute everything was just an incoherent blur of color and noise.

I came to much later on a hospital bed, my side aching like mad. My coat and shirt had been removed, though thankfully my bra had been left alone. My midsection was covered in bandages and I could see spots of red seeping though where the bullet had hit me. I carefully sat up. A dark green salarian with a white coat walked in.

"You're up. Good. The sedative, removal of the bullet chip, sealing of your wound, and antibiotic treatment altogether cost three hundred and fifty credits. Unfortunately you didn't possess the full payment, so we simply took all of your available credits." His voice was dull, like he'd said this many times before.

I was still a bit groggy, but that had definitely gotten my attention. "What?! When, how-"

"You were quite amendable to it while under the affects of the sedative. You willingly payed. Now, your clothes are there." He pointed to a hook on the wall with my shirt and coat on it. "Please remove yourself from the premises." Having finished his very rehearsed-sounding speech, he left.

I stared after him for a while.

_Is everyone on this rock a pirate? I'm fairly certain I just got robbed._

I got up from the bed, put on my clothes and hobbled out of the clinic. As I made my way back to the apartments to sleep off the grogginess lingering in my brain, I realized that I had absolutely no credits. Again. It wasn't that bad this time, rent wasn't due for a while I could probably scrounge up enough to make due.

My prospects seemed much dimmer, however, when I brought up my omni-tool to check the time and realized what the first gunshot had hit. There was a small dent in the device's metal casing, and the display froze the moment I turned it on.

_Oh fuck._

**AN: I'm sorry for the lack of recent updates. As an apology, here's a 4.7k word chapter! Also, my story is now over 30k! Woot!**

**You guys are seriously awesome. This story has 4,000 hits and 60 followers! That just makes me so damn happy…**

**Please review! The thought that people out there actually want to read this spurs me on to write when I get tired or have a hard time thinking up stuff.**


	13. Chapter 13

**November 29****th**

**04:27 OST**

I had stopped mid-transit from the clinic to the apartment complex and sat down, trying to figure out this universe's latest attempt to fuck me.

This was bad.

My omni-tool was barely functional. At most I could get it to work for a few seconds before it would freeze for the next two minutes. This would fuck everything up. I couldn't steal with this. I couldn't buy anything with this, even if I had the credits.

I was starting to freak out, but I stopped and took a few deep breaths.

I needed to get this fixed as soon as possible. I needed credits for that. I currently had no credits and no reliable method of getting credits. I needed a method of getting credits quickly that would require little or no usage of my omni-tool.

There was only one thing I could think of, but it wasn't borderline crazy; it was taking a flying leap over the line between sanity and insanity. Stealing from the Eclipse again.

I couldn't believe myself, that I would let myself think that was at all viable. Stealing from the Eclipse nearly got me killed, it made me a target, it made them send someone after me-

_Break line of sight, hack mechs, let them disable salarian._

_The mechs came around the corner. My omni-tool was active and launched the hacking program the moment they appeared in my vision. The salarian was right behind them and ran in, placing himself between the two. They turned to him and began firing. The salarian was in shock and didn't take cover or fire back. His shields dropped in two seconds and his flesh was punctured eight times, three times in the torso, twice in the abdomen, once in the left thigh, once in the neck and once in the head. The trajectory of the shots caused a light blood spatter on the opposite wall and my clothes. The body slumped to the ground, and green blood pooled out from it. The mechs put their guns down and stood silently, awaiting orders. My world shattered._

_Break line of sight, hack mechs, let them kill salarian._

-my throat was burning from stomach acid. I had thrown up. This was why I'd been hanging out at Lagrange Point, where it was so loud I could barely hear myself think. It kept the memories away.

I couldn't do it again. I couldn't put myself in that situation again. But I didn't know what else to do. I _might_ be able to convince someone to hire me, but the probability was low and they likely wouldn't pay me in advance. Everything I could do that someone would hypothetically pay me for I needed to use my omni-tool for at some point.

…or my gun.

I had an idea. Not the best idea, but it was a superior idea to starting shit with the Eclipse again. After weeks of little sleep and increased target practice I had managed to reach an over fifty percent hit rate. I was also in pretty decent shape, had a good set of armor that I could take on and off with ease and knew how to move in. I could try signing up with the Blue Suns. I didn't know what the procedure was or what the pay was like, but it was worth looking into as it was currently my only real option.

I decided that tomorrow I was going to stop by their representative and ask some questions, but today I was going to sleep as much as I could. I would need to be sharp if I was going to try my hand at being a mercenary.

**December 1****st**

**08:02 OST**

The representative said that they were currently hiring, the pay started at six hundred per job and that I should go to the screening with any armor and weapons I had.

I wasn't all that sure about this, but with a merc company at least I wasn't completely alone if shit hit the fan. If I made myself valuable to them, they'd try to keep me alive. It was stable pay, and they might give me some training. They might even give me some good equipment. It couldn't hurt to try. So here I was, pacing in front of the building he told me to be at 08:15.

If at all possible, I liked to be early. And my omni-tool was still unreliable, so better safe than sorry.

I was in my armor, helmet collapsed and attached to my lower back. My pistol was on my left hip. My right side felt incredibly sore, but there were no fresh blood spots on the bandages after all this time and the armor helped protect it from unnecessary bumps or jolts.

The armor was helpful for other things too. As I had been getting in it this morning, I attached my gun to it for the first time. When I did, a status indicator popped up on the HUD for it, as well as a targeting reticule. Feeling that I had done something very dumb, I went to my practice range with my helmet on and fired twelve shots. Eight of them hit almost perfectly, one missing by an inch and the other three by three inches.

The facepalm that commenced afterwards lasted at least fifteen seconds.

I spent several minutes ranting about how stupid I was to forget the HUD and the armor's targeting VI and just how much time I had wasted and why couldn't I have thought about this before and various other tangents. Eventually I calmed down and simply decided to wear the helmet from now on if I was intending on using my gun.

All of this did mean I felt slightly better about my chances for getting in if my accuracy rating was closer to seventy percent than fifty.

I was turning to start another lap of pacing when I saw some people coming my way. Two batarians. One was in armor that looked like a medium Gladiator pattern and had an assault rifle on his back. The other was lightly armored in the same model and didn't have any visible weapons. I suspected he was either a tech expert or a biotic. They seemed to know each other and walked close together. They stopped at the front of the building and leaned against the wall to wait, casting glances at me while I paced. I did my best to ignore them.

A few minutes later a salarian showed up. He seemed more nervous than I was, because he was twitching at every noise and stared at the rest of us like we'd pull our guns out any moment. He had no armor and one pistol. For his sake I hoped he was either very good with it or had something else up his sleeve.

Shortly after the salarian a turian appeared. He was wearing a dark, thick plated armor I didn't recognize and had an assault rifle and what looked like a sniper rifle. He looked over everyone present with a calculating glance and went to stand a few feet away, perfectly still and observant.

We all waited, me pacing, the batarians quietly talking to each other, the salarian twitching and the turian silently watching. One minute before 08:15, another turian came up. This one had an obvious swagger to him, his chin held high. He wasn't wearing any armor, but he did have a rather large shotgun.

The newcomer sauntered up to the only other turian there and tried to start a conversation which the quieter turian rebuffed; pointing out that the door was open.

I stopped my pacing and looked to see that the door was indeed open. Wanting to avoid causing any collisions, I waited until everyone else had entered before I followed them in. Inside, the building appeared to be completely empty besides a desk in the far left corner and five armed Blue Sun troopers. Three of them were turians; the other two were either humans or batarians. All but one of the turians had helmets on. The unhelmeted turian was standing in the middle of the room. His plates were a light tan color, but he had no colonial insignia. That made me pause slightly, and I saw one of the turians ahead of me pause as well.

If I remembered correctly, turians believed that 'barefaced' turians were untrustworthy, synonymous with being a politician. Saren was barefaced. It was an interesting tidbit, but ultimately unimportant.

The prospecting mercenaries lined up in front of the turian, and I followed along. The tan turian spoke, sub-harmonics low and gravelly, "This is a screening for joining the Blue Suns, if you're not here to join get out now." No one left. "Alright then. You." He pointed to the unarmored turian. "Step forward."

The turian practically swaggered over to the tan turian. "I'm here to sign up. You won't regret it." His voice even sounded arrogant.

The tan turian's left mandible twitched. "Mm-hmm. What combat experience do you have?"

"Oh, plenty. I take my baby," he gestured to the shogun on his back, "down to the firing range all the time!"

"I didn't ask if you'd been to a firing range. I asked if you had combat experience." The older-sounding turian seemed unimpressed with the other turian's showboating.

This put the younger turian off, but he regained his confidence quickly. "Well, I haven't shot at anyone before but that's because people are too scared to mess with me! I make up my lack of experience with _skill_." I was oddly reminded of Conrad Verner.

Apparently the recruiter had enough, because he suddenly had his pistol out and pointed at the boastful turian. He hesitated for a second, in which the younger of the two didn't respond to in his shock, and then he fired one shot that grazed a cheek.

The unarmored turian grabbed at his wound with his hands and cursed colorfully, in a good deal of pain. The tan turian watched his victim writhe dispassionately. "Get out of here, kid." He didn't need telling twice, he just brushed past the rest of us as he left. The barefaced turian pointed to the batarian in medium armor. "Next."

The batarian went to stand in front of the turian. Unlike the last candidate, he said nothing, waiting for the recruiter to start.

"Do you have combat experience?"

The batarian answered in an even and measured tone. "Some. People have tried to mug me before, I punched them or shot them. Sometimes I mugged people. When they resisted, I punched them or shot them."

The recruiter seemed less testy now that he had someone who wasn't an ass. "What weapons do you know how to use?"

"I know how to use my rifle. I can also punch pretty hard."

"Have you killed anyone before?"

"…no."

The turian nodded. "Go stand over there." He indicated to the area behind him. The batarian went to stand in the back, slightly smiling. The recruiter pointed at the other batarian. The lighter-armored batarian approached slower than his friend, appearing wary.

"Do you have any combat experience?"

"Pretty much the same as my friend over there." He nodded his head to his fellow who had already passed. "A few muggings, on both sides. A home invasion, once."

"What weapons do you know how to use?"

"I haven't used a gun before, but I'm a biotic." He briefly flared blue to validate his statement.

The turian seemed pleased. "A biotic batarian? That's rare. Now, have you killed anyone before?"

"…maybe. I might have hit this one guy hard enough to snap his neck, I never went back to check."

The turian pointed his thumb behind him, and the biotic went to join his friend.

The recruiter motioned that the salarian was next. He was a ball of nerves, practically vibrating with anxiety. The turian looked at him a while.

"Calm down." The salarian seemed to shake less. "Now, do you have any combat experience?"

"N-no."

The turian's mandibles lowered slightly. "What weapons do you know how to use?"

"I-I can use my p-pistol. I-I al-lso know how t-to rig ex-xplosives and I c-can hack a bit."

This made the turian happier. "Okay then. Have you killed anyone before?"

"N-no."

The recruiter hesitated, but eventually waved the salarian in. Next up was the turian with the sniper rifle. My stomach suddenly knotted up when I realized that I was next up after him. I had a strong urge to just walk away. Rejection here seemed to come with a bullet graze on the cheek, and I couldn't afford more medical bills. But I couldn't afford to leave either. I needed the money.

The older turian began his questioning. "Do you have any combat experience?"

His voice was low and quiet. "I was in boot camp for a year."

This caught the recruiter's interest. "What weapons did they train you in?"

"Assault rifle, sniper rifle and pistol."

The tan turian's mandibles twitched in what I was guessing was a smile. "And have you killed anyone before?"

"Yes, a long time ago."

The recruiter nodded, and the black-armored turian went to the back of the room. My stomach was twisting itself into double-helixes now. Seeing as I was the last one, I didn't wait to be called and walked up to where the others had been.

The barefaced turian, whose green eyes I could finally see from up close, looked me over. "Do you have any combat experience?"

The adrenalin burst I felt in combat rushed through me, and I was somehow able to answer the question calmly. "I've been in a few firefights." Perfectly true.

"What weapons do you know how to use?"

"I know how to use my pistol, and I have several combat programs on my omni-tool. It's malfunctioning right now, though."

"Have you killed anyone before?"

The icy calm I had been holding on to before shattered and suddenly all I could see was green blood everywhere and the body falling and-

The recruiter was pointing his gun at me, within my shields. Everything froze over again and almost in slow motion I watched myself simultaneously knock his gun hand to the side while pulling out my own. I started to point the barrel at his head, but a twist of nausea made me aim for the arm holding the gun instead. He leaned back in the split second it took me to fire; making my shot hit his shield. I nearly fired again, but the turian put down his gun and backed off. I didn't take my eyes or my gun off of him. He was unperturbed.

"Good reflexes. Aimed for a non-lethal shot, though. At least you pulled the trigger." He gave me a piercing look. "You _have_ killed before, haven't you?"

I lowered my pistol. My voice was soft but it carried through the room. "Yes."

He nodded at me. "You're in."

**AN: It took me a while to decide whether or not to do this, but it sounded like the more interesting option. I hope everyone's happy with it.**

**Currently in terms of parings, Me/Garrus are in the lead with six, Me/Shep have four, Shep/Ash have three, Shep/Tali, Me/Liara, Kaidan/Liara, and Me/Joker have two each. I think I've made my decisions, but I'll still take reviews and poll votes.**

**Please please review! I've been spoilt by your nice words, I feel incomplete without them now!**


	14. Chapter 14

**December 1****st**

**08:29 OST**

Inwardly I was practically sagging with relief, but I forced myself to show no outward signs besides a small smile.

_Oh thank Akatosh, I can't believe that worked out._

I stuck my pistol back on my hip and walked past the line of Blue Sun troopers to stand with the other new recruits. The looks they gave me and each other seemed wary at best, but I studiously ignored them. The turian recruiter turned around to face us all. "Alright then," he began, mandibles slightly flared out, "Five rookies. Not as many as we usually get, but I'll take what I can get. Now, this doesn't automatically make you a Blue Sun." I had suspected so, but it was still disheartening to hear. _Yay. More hoops. _"The point of this was to look for anyone with either the training or guts we need and weed out the obviously unsuitable. Now, we need to see if you're actually competent enough to join. In one hour, we're going to be picked up by a transport and taken to a combat zone. I'm not sure where or against who yet, so don't ask me. There, you will be told to achieve some objective. You will be in a team. My team," he indicated to the other four troopers in the room, "are going to be there to complete the objective in case you all screw up and die. Any questions?"

My mind drew a blank, but the black-armored turian spoke up, voice still eerily calm. I hadn't noticed before, but his sub-harmonics were rather soft, to the point of being almost inaudible. "When are we meeting our teammates?"

The older, tan colored turian let out the turian equivalent of a chuckle and gestured to all of the mercenary recruits. "You've already met them."

_Oh. Wonderful._

I looked at my now-teammates with a more critical eye than before. I would have to be able to recognize them on sight after all. The batarian with the gun was pale by human standards with a lightly greenish tinge to him. He had a small scar above his top right eye. The other batarian had darker skin, almost brown, with what looked like red tattoo stripes over each eye. The salarian was a light green color with soft beige markings giving him a dappled sort of complexion. His eyes were large, like most salarians in general, with barely visible orange irises. The turian had skin that was a dark gun-metal gray, white colony markings I couldn't recognize, and pitch black eyes that were staring right back at me, analyzing me just like I was him. I was a little perturbed, but didn't break eye contact. If turians were at all like humans, looking away would be admitting weakness and I would rather not start a working relationship that way.

_How does he see me? Do I live up to his standards? Why should I care, anyways? He probably thinks I'm just another dumb primate in his way, like everyone else here. Hell, being both a human _and_ a female is likely to cause me all kinds of trouble. Why did I think this was a good idea again?_

I wasn't sure how to go about this. I was not a people person, and I was not at all used to working with a team. Well, back home I did basically run half of the operation of a annual homeless dinner with my grandmother, but that was mostly knowing what needed to be done and delegating it to people I thought could do it. And the few times I played multiplayer games I adjusted well enough to coordinating my attacks with my party members and assisting when needed, but that was in games. This was real life. Well, outside of combat at least, I could apply a little of my strategy for online gaming here. I would be cordial and polite, be willing to assist if I could, but would not trust them with my life or personal information.

The staring was becoming uncomfortable, but I didn't give in. I had no idea what he was thinking, I knew only a little about turian facial expressions and he seemed to have an excellent poker face. In my peripheral vision, I saw the two batarians and salarian look vaguely at each other before turning to watch my little contest with the turian.

The recruiter made an odd noise that was probably similar to a human clearing their throat, as my turian teammate broke eye contact to look at him. I and the others followed suit.

"As I said we have about an hour until the transport shows up. If you need repairs of any kind," he looked at me specifically at this, "you should see Doral before we leave." One of the helmeted troopers nodded, indicating that they were the aforementioned Doral. I still couldn't tell if he was a human or a batarian. "Otherwise, I'd suggest you all _get to know one another_." He sounded positively amused. Having finished his spiel, the recruiter went to the desk in the corner, sat down and turned on the terminal, probably sending a message to his superiors. Or looking at porn. I honestly had no idea. The other troopers wandered off to the far side of the room and starting quietly chatting; leaving the newly-formed team to its own, very awkward devices.

Very much wanting to avoid 'getting to know one another', I tried to approach the one called Doral. Before I even opened my mouth, he cut me off. "Something 'bout a busted omni, yeah? Lemme see." The question of whether he was a batarian or a human was solved with his unmistakably Australian accent. Though it was a little racist of me, knowing that made me feel a bit more comfortable. I carefully unsealed and removed my left glove to show him the omni-tool's hardware. His 'tool activated and scanned it over. "Yeah, that'd do it. Looks like it was shot. Guess you weren' lyin' 'bout being in a firefight. Give it 'ere." Once he had it in his hand, Doral pulled a tool like the on the volus had out of a storage compartment on his armor and cracked the casing open with it. He whistled when he got a good look at the device's innards. "You did a number on this beaut, it'll take me a while to fix it. Why don't you clear off and go make some friends, eh?" I really didn't want to, but Doral walked off with my omni-tool back to his teammates before I could make an argument.

With a strange feeling in my stomach that I could only describe as having my organs liquefied, I turned and went back to the group of rookies. They appeared to be very busy looking oddly at each other, and I was automatically included into the group effort of being uncomfortable together. I didn't look directly at the turian, hoping to avoid starting another staring contest. Instead I watched the batarians, who at least seemed just as disgruntled and wrong-footed as I was, and the salarian who was vibrating so much I was worried he might disappear from the visible spectrum altogether.

And we just… looked at each other. I was really hoping that someone would start talking, say something, _anything_, but no one else was forthcoming.

_No, no, don't do it, it's dumb, I don't know what I'm doing, what would I _say-

I let out a very deep sigh, turning the group's attention to me. "Alright, well, fuck it. I'm Shawna. I like living, being paid, and long walks on the beach. How 'bout you?" I made a vague gesture in the group's direction, hoping one of them would take over and I could stop feeling like my liquefied organs were being slowly sucked out of my body through a straw.

The brown, tattooed batarian spoke up. "My name's Javern. Brek and I have known each other for a while, seen a lot of shit together."

The pale greenish batarian decided to speak then. "I'm Brek. I like my gun." He didn't add anything else. _A man of few words._

Everyone's eyes went to the salarian, who seemed disturbed to find himself the center of attention. "O-oh, umm. M-my name's Mannovai Ertil Ren Olvey Sul Yovu Hyrn." He stopped, probably sensing that we had barely kept up with that. "O, I-I'm sorry, I- you, I f-forgot, um. I-I'm Hyrn, I guess."

_Wait, Mannovai? Wasn't that mentioned in Mass Effect 1?_ The name was very familiar, from the mission on Virmire. Captain Kirrahe used it to name one of the teams, for morale because…"Isn't Mannovai one of the first three salarian colonies?" I blurted out.

Six pairs of eyes were suddenly on me. Hyrn's orange eyes got even wider. "H-how- where did y-you…?"

My feet were suddenly extraordinarily fascinating. "I, ah, read things. On the extranet. It's very interesting. I learn stuff." I could feel the blood go to my face. _Goddamnit, should have kept my mouth shut, shouldn't have said anything, agh._

Eventually, the crushing weight of so many eyes was lifted from me and put on the turian, who looked around at us with glittering black eyes. "I'm Vilnius." We waited to see if he'd say more, but he didn't.

And now we were back to the awkward silence again. _Joy._

We stood there, quietly sizing each other up, until there was a shout from the other side of the room. "Oi, shelia!" I turned around as Doral came up to the group of rookies. "'Eyh, I got your omni fixed." He handed the small circular device over to me and I reattached it quickly.

After activating it and seeing that it was indeed functioning properly, I nodded to him. "Thanks."

"Yeah, tha' bullet did some damage, let me tell you, but nothin' I couldn' stick back together." The Australian clapped his hands together. "Jus' so you know, fixin' that's comin' outta your first paycheck."

"I figured." I put my glove back on and checked over the seals, making sure everything was properly connected. Doral wandered off back to his group and I turned to face mine. I went through my combat programs and made sure my hotkeys were all configured correctly, seeing as I might need them soon.

_Sabotage, overload, dampening, hacking, omni-blade. Yep, all there._ At least I wouldn't be going into this test with less than half of my arsenal.

I deactivated my 'tool and looked up. Javern and Brek were looking at each other and quietly whispering Goddess-only-know what. Vilnius was watching the four mercs across the room from us. Hyrn was staring at the ceiling, bouncing on his feet slightly. I felt horribly out of place. After a few minutes, Vilnius stopped studying the Blue Sun troopers and instead turned his gaze on Javern.

"You said you're a biotic?" he began without preamble. He sounded warily curious. Those five words probably contained more emotion than I'd been able to pick up on from him this entire time.

Javern met Vilnius' eyes. "Yeah? What about it?" His tone was just as cautious.

If I remembered right, turians had very few biotics and generally isolated them from the normal military, resulting in a bit of a stigma. This might be problematic.

But Vilnius didn't show any sign of hostility. He seemed more interested than anything. "What can you do?"

"…well," Javern looked like he hadn't been expecting that. "I haven't gotten much training, unfortunately. The Hegemony doesn't have any sort of school for biotics and most other schools don't want a batarian student. I've managed to learn a few things on my own, though. I can throw people or objects if they're not too heavy or I can make them float. I also figured out how to shred things. And I can make a barrier that stops bullets like a shield does."

_Throw, lift, warp, barrier. I probably shouldn't think about this in terms of game mechanics, but I'm not really sure how to classify this kind of stuff otherwise. _

"That sounds… useful." Vilnius muttered, head tilted slightly. He then switched his attention to Hyrn. "You said you knew something about demolitions?"

Hyrn appeared startled at the sudden inquiry. He seemed less nervous overall, but that didn't stop the stuttering. _Maybe that's just how he talks?_ "Ah, y-yes. Maybe. I-I think so, a-anyways. I m-made a shuttle e-explode, once." At the other's horrified looks, quickly he amended, "T-there was n-no one on board! I just wanted to watch." He was staring off into the distance, likely remembering said event. He was completely still for the first time since I met him, completely enraptured. I shared a concerned glance with Vilnius, who was just as unsettled as I was. I reached a hand out and snapped my fingers in front of Hyrn's face a couple times. The noise 'woke' him. He shook himself free of the memory and resumed his bouncing. "Y-yes, w-what was I s-saying?"

The turian continued his line of questioning dubiously. "You were explaining your expertise with explosives."

"O-oh, right." Hyrn turned on his omni-tool, which was an odd aquamarine color I hadn't seen before, and pulled up a schematic for the fabricator. "I-I can make e-explosives of m-many kinds. T-the sticky k-kind, the b-big kind, the ti-imer kind, the remote k-kind. I j-just need some r-raw material and t-time. And then I-I set them u-up and BOOM." He did a strange jump into the air. "Explode."

I had previously categorized Hyrn as a non-threat, someone who was not to be taken into consideration. I was revising that categorization now. The hyperactive salarian was just a little bit terrifying.

Apparently wanting to move on from what was quickly becoming a disturbing conversation, Vilnius turned to Brek. "How good are you with your assault rifle?"

Brek shrugged. "I hit what I aim at. And if I miss I punch it." His voice was slow and measured. I was getting the feeling that either he was on the low end of the intelligence spectrum or he pretended to be. Which would mean he was smarter than everyone in the room. That was unlikely, but within the scope of possibility. I decided to stop thinking about it for the sake of my mental health.

Javern suddenly chimed in. "He's a good shot, and really damned tough. A krogan punched him once and he just shrugged it off and slugged him right in the face. It didn't do much to him, but it was still impressive."

My eyebrows involuntarily rose. I'd been punched by a krogan before and had some broken bones for my trouble. If he hit him right back after _that_ then he was a hardy son of a bitch.

Vilnius must have been similarly impressed, because he simply nodded and then shifted his attention to me, making the slow suction of my liquidfied internal organs finish in a hurry and leave behind an uncomfortable hollowness. "And you mentioned something about combat programs?"

I took a few seconds to rally my thoughts, during which everyone decided to stare at me. _I greatly detest socialization…_

"Uhhmm, yeah. I've written a few programs meant to help in a fight. I can make someone's weapon overheat or overload their shield capacitors. And if they have an omni-tool I can force it into shutdown mode. If there's mechs I can override their programming and give them new instructions." Some nausea formed in my stomach, but I pushed it and all it represented to the side. "That's about it. Oh, and this." I activated my omni-blade. Vilnius looked it over and nodded. I turned it off and looked him in the eye. "So, do we pass inspection, mister military-trained professional?"

That was definitely a word that could be used to describe Vilnius: professional. Calm, reserved and intelligent were others. He acted a bit less calm now. He jerked his head back a bit, and the ridges that he had where a nose on a human would have been moved up swiftly. Black eyes bored into mine, but I stood my ground. After a moment, he relaxed. _So, he has issues with the military. Okay then._ It wasn't my problem, but information was power and all that hoopla.

He opened his mouth, but it was at that exact moment that the recruiter walked up. "Okay, people, transport's here. Let's get going."

_Oh, that's right, we're going to a combat zone. How did I forget that?!_

**AN: Soo… yeah.**

**I'm thinking that updating every two or three days is a good pacing for me. I'll start trying to make the average chapter length closer to 3k than 2k to compensate. **

**Oh, if you guys like SIs drop by 'Paper Wings' by Atreyu429. It's pretty good. The SI starts off on the Citadel with a job practically lined up for him, the lucky bastard. Doesn't mean he gets off scot free though… **

**I'm kinda torn between M!Shep/SI and SI/Garrus, but I'm leaning a little more towards M!Shep right now. I hope you all realize how weird this is, imagining myself with either a 29 year-old military man/space hero or an undisclosed-but-guaranteed-to-be-older-than-me alien police officer/Batman. True, Garrus' voice is smexy and he's a great guy personality-wise, but he also has spikes.**

**Also, OVER 100 REVIEWS! W00T! Seriously, I love you all so much. If I could hug you though the internet, you would have been smothered to death a long time ago.**

**[BONUS CHAPTER]**

WARNING: Multiple POV changes ahead!

**Hyrn**

As nerve-wracking as this was, Hyrn was still very excited.

He'd always wanted to be a mercenary. His family didn't approve, but they also didn't approve of his love of explosions. When he went out to experiment on different materials, he'd come home to a long, loud lecture from his older cousins. They just didn't understand.

The beauty of delicate chemical reactions going off in perfect synchronization, culminating in a display of unmatchable destruction and power…

No, they didn't understand. But Hyrn was hoping that mercenaries would understand, or at least not scream at him when he indulged. Exploding things was a part of their job, he figured. They might even see him as an asset.

And now he had a chance to prove himself. The other four recruits, however, made him anxious.

Vilnius was a typical turian as far as Hyrn was concerned. Demanding, intimidating and impolite. Brek was a brute, one that he wished to avoid as much as possible. Javern seemed to be nicer of the two, but he still looked at Hyrn in a way that made him shake a little. Shawna had seemed the least scary at first, though he had no idea if it was a male or female. It had been nervous just like him. But it had been willing to shoot the recruiter without hesitation, and that scared him.

The whole group had him twitching in fear. But he would have to work with them. Maybe they would like his explosions and not hurt him, he hoped.

**Brek**

Brek was not happy, but that was not new. At least Javern was here.

He and Javern needed work. They needed credits. Credits would help them get out of Omega, and then they could go anywhere. They could go to Illium and see all the pretty blue ladies, or to the Citadel and live in a nice big apartment. Javern had a plan, he always did. He said that they needed to be mercenaries to get the credits.

Being a mercenary wouldn't be hard, Javern had said. He just needed to do what he was told. Brek could do that. Javern told him what to do all the time. Sometimes he had to shoot at people, but that was okay. They were mean, dumb people anyways. Especially humans.

He had to work with a human now. That was bad, but they would deal with it, get their credits and leave. Maybe he could shoot the human after they quit. That would be fun. It might even scream. Humans screamed a lot.

The turian was scary. It looked like it could shoot good. Brek didn't think he could beat it. Javern could crush it, though.

The salarian was annoying. He didn't pay attention to it. It'd probably die anyways. Brek hoped it hurt a lot when it died, the squealy noises would be fun.

It was just him and Javern. That was all that mattered.

**Javern**

He was still not sure at all about this, but at least both he and Brek had gotten in. Brek was his best friend, and Javern wasn't sure what he would have done without him. He was not the most intelligent person, but he was strong and loyal. His more… sadistic tendencies were worrying, but Javern did what he could to rein them in. He disliked aliens as much as Brek did, but not to the point of some of the things his friend wanted to do.

The aliens they'd ended up stuck with weren't all that bad, at least. The salarian called Hyrn was annoying and a little bit crazy, but he seemed capable. The turian, Vilnius, was obviously a professional and definitely the sort you didn't want to make an enemy of. Shawna, the human female, was as conceited as the rest of her race and didn't belong here in his opinion but at least it didn't look like she'd be slowing them down.

_It's just for now_, he reminded himself. _Just until we get enough credits to get off this damned rock, and then Brek and I'll never have to deal with aliens ever again._ _We can go wherever we want, just the two of us. That's all that matters._

**Vilnius**

_Well, _he supposed, _it could be worse. They could all be completely useless._

If there was one good thing he could say about his new teammates, it was that they each had _something_ useful about them. He hadn't been expecting much from a bunch of prospective mercenaries. Of course, now _he_ was one of those prospective mercenaries, however much it rankled his pride. The fact that he'd been reduced to _this_ infuriated him, but the fact was he needed credits and the one good thing he'd gotten from the military was training. Mercenary work was one of the few things he was qualified for.

Having looked over the other four members of his team, he realized he might have been overqualified.

The batarians Javern and Brek were thugs, in his opinion. The pale one was nothing more than a moronic punching bag. The biotic was of average intelligence at least, but Vilnius still felt uneasy with him. In the military biotics were seen as necessary, but unreliable at best and a threat to normal soldiers at worst.

_The military was wrong about other things. Perhaps they were wrong about that too._

It still paid to keep an eye on the batarians. He had yet to meet an unselfish one of their kind.

The salarian, Hyrn, concerned Vilnius. If he was not overstating his skills then he could be a useful asset, but his apparent fascination with explosions was potentially dangerous. Not to mention his stuttering gave Vilnius a headache. Another one to be wary of.

The human, Shawna, was interesting. Vilnius was having a hard time identifying it's gender. It's voice was higher pitched than the males of most species and it's body shape was similar to an asari's but the fur on it's head was short, something had been told was indicative of a male, and it was applying to what was customarily a male's job. Either way, it seemed slightly more competent than the other three aliens he had to work with. It made no effort to hide it's nervousness, but also did not back down or falter when challenged, implying both a certain amount of courage and sensibility.

Vilnius' father had always told him that batarians were filthy war-mongers, salarians were untrustworthy pyjaks and humans were honorless monkeys. He also said that everything the military did was right and that Vilnius was a cowardly bastard for disobeying his superior's orders. So, it stood to reason that he would be wrong about other things.

Time would tell.

**AN: Here's an extra chapter. Just because I love you guys so much. I hope this sheds some light on the OCs and their motivations.**


	15. Chapter 15

**December 1****st**

**09:43 OST**

It was a bit crowded in the transport, what with ten people crammed in it, but the vibrations caused by the engines were soothing. The vehicle reminded me of the Kodiak a bit, but it was a good deal larger and was more aerodynamic shape, having a slightly pointy nose and soft edges. It was painted a dull gray with two stripes, one white and one blue, on its right side.

The four other recruits and I were sitting toward the back of the shuttle, casting nervous glances between the four Blue Sun troopers in here with us, the view outside and each other. The tension between us had gone down a notch, but we still kept a safe distance away from one another. Everyone who had a helmet had put it on. Hyrn was alternating between fiddling with his aquamarine omni-tool and rocking back and forth. Javern was clenching and unclenching his fists, sparks of blue biotic energy forming around his hands. Vilnius would have appeared the perfect image of calm had he not been examining both guns in his possession for the smallest speck of dust. Brek was the only still one of us, his assault rifle on his lap and his unwavering gaze on the wall opposite.

I spent the first few minutes double and triple checking my suit, gun, omni-tool and programs. After that I tried closing my eyes and regulating my breathing. It seemed to work, because when the recruiter came out of the cockpit I wasn't shaking as much.

"Alright, ladies," he began, sounding exactly like I would imagine a turian drill sergeant would, "we found you a nice easy job. Apparently some idiots over in Zeta District decided to start their own little gang and shake down the locals. We normally wouldn't give a damn but they're starting to bother the shopkeepers and businessmen, people who pay us protection money. So, you're going to go in and 'convince' them to stop."

"How many members should we expect?" Vilnius queried in his usual neutral tone.

The barefaced turian made an approximation of a shrug. "Somewhere between ten and fifteen."

_Outnumbered two to one at best. If they're a start-up, though, they probably don't have much in the way of equipment. It might be an even fight._

Javern spoke up next. "When you say 'convince', do you mean kill them?" He sounded slightly unnerved at the thought.

"It would be the easiest solution, but really we just want them to stop. However you manage that, you'll get paid regardless. But," he fixed us with a warning look, "if you say they're done and we hear they're not, you'll pay for it in more than credits."

No one said anything after that.

The turian turned to look outside and announced, "We're here."

The shuttle came up along the sheer side of a district I'd never been to before. It resembled a cross section of a bee hive, consisting of many streets and alleys that were cut vertically and exposed to the hollow inside of the asteroid. Walkways hung loosely from the 'ceiling' of the station and connected various portions of the district together. I recalled that a similar view was the first thing I saw when I first 'arrived' here. The transport flew in a bit lower until it came to a stop at a walkway.

The recruiter's omni-tool lit up, and simultaneously Vilnius', Hyrn's, Javern's and mine were pinged with a download. "I'm giving you the coordinates of their base. Last we heard they were all holed up in there. We'll be keeping an eye on you." We were all ushered out of the vehicle and onto the walkway. As soon as we were off the shuttle left.

I turned on my 'tool and look at the coordinates we'd been sent. From the look of it, the gang's base wasn't that far. I looked up at the others. Vilnius was also checking at the data we were sent. "It seems like they're 200 meters in that direction," he tilted his head towards the buildings, "We can get there in a few minutes. First, we should get on the same comm frequency."

"Why?" Javern asked, sounding a little belligerent.

I couldn't see Vilnius' expression behind the helmet, but the look he gave the batarian biotic seemed disdainful. "So that we can communicate in combat without having to yell at each other." There was an unstated _duh_ at the end of that sentence. There were no more comments, and the turian sent us all a comm number that we tuned into. "Okay, can everyone hear me?" Everyone nodded. "Good." He started walking in the direction of the gang's base. The others and I followed him shortly after.

The neighborhood we were walking through was similar to Gozu District in many ways. It was filthy, with trash and grime on nearly every surface, and had very little light. The moldy, rancid smell was exactly the same, and had I not become inured to it over the months I might have gagged a little. The light breeze that was present within the hollow core of the rock faded away as we headed into the thick of the buildings that lined the asteroid's walls. Oddly enough, there were fewer people out on the street. If the gang did cause problems in this area, the locals might have started keeping away from here and staying inside.

I was more than a little uneasy with the fact that I was in an area I had never been to before with people who were most assuredly dangerous and with no way to get back to 'my' district, but what's done is done. There wasn't much I could do to change this now; the only thing left to do was move forward.

_That's… actually very appropriate to my circumstances. Just 'moving forward'._

I shook myself out of my introspection and noticed Hyrn lagging a bit behind, looking at something on his oddly-colored omni-tool. I slowed my pace to walk next to him. "So," I began, making him twitch and glance up from his device to stare at me, "your omni-tool's a nice color. How'd you manage that?"

He was quiet, seemingly trying to gauge whether I was serious or not, but eventually responded. "I-It's a program I-I found on the s-store. Th-here's a lot o-of customization p-programs there."

That was news to me. I hadn't really looked in the store a lot and instead focused on making my own programs. "Really? Thanks, I'll check that out later."

He switched his gaze from his 'tool to me, then back again. If it were possible, he sounded even more hesitant when he spoke again. "U-um, i-if you don't m-mind me asking… h-how'd your omni-t-tool break?"

_I guess there's no harm in it, but there's no need to tell him everything._ "A guy was shooting at me. One of the shots hit my omni-tool."

Hyrn put down his arm and openly gaped at me. "D-Didn't you get s-shot?"

"Yeah." My side was aching from the walking but it hadn't reopened by the feel of it. I'd try to avoid damaging that side further, however much good that would do.

The salarian blinked at me rapidly, seeming shocked, before nodding and looking away.

_Did I upset him? I didn't mean to._

Rather than push my new teammate to more conversation, I faced straight ahead and sped up.

After another minute we came up on a small two-story building made of the same metal alloy as everything else here, with a couple windows, a few side doors and one large door that looked big enough to fit a skycar in. It could almost pass for a typical sci-fi-esque house, were it not for the graffiti, bullet holes and scorch marks adorning the walls.

Vilnius stopped and led us off to the side of street, where we were out of the line of sight from the house. "The coordinates lead to that building."

Javern slightly leaned around the corner of the alley we'd ducked into to look at the house again. "You're sure? I don't see anyone around."

"Positive." Vilnius crossed his arms over his chest. "How are we going to do this, just go in and kill them?"

_I'd rather not kill anyone._

_I knew going in that it was part of the job._

_But we don't have to kill them. We just have to make them stop._

_Can we really make them stop without killing them? We go in and threaten them they'll attack us, no question. If we try to take them out non-lethally we're just putting ourselves at more risk, as they probably won't have the same moral compunctions. And if we manage to beat them _without_ killing them and just tell them to stop they'll probably be back in business in under a week, pissing off the Blue Suns. It's safer all around to kill them._

_It's just not something I want to do. I still remember the salarian sometimes; do I really want more of that?_

_I am trying to become a _mercenary_. If I can't handle killing people then I'm not going to get far._

_It's not okay. This isn't right._

_It doesn't have to be. It's just something that's going to happen. If the Blue Suns want someone dead, abstaining on my part isn't going to do jack shit. This way, I get a paycheck. I knew when I went to the meeting that something like this would happen._

_It just didn't really sink in…_

_I've already killed someone to assure my own safety. In the end, this isn't very different. It's wrong, but this is Omega. There's no 'right' here._

I put a hand to the bullet hole in my side.

_Don't hesitate. _

I pulled myself out of my inner debate to see the rest of the rookies in similar thought, Javern staring at the ground, Hyrn wringing his hands and Vilnius tipping his head left to right, as though listening to the angel and devil on his shoulders.

Brek seemed indifferent. "Why not? It's faster."

"Brek." There was a quiet warning tone in the other batarian's voice.

"But it's faster. And I get to use my gun." He sounded impatient with our hesitance.

"Brek. Shut up." Javern's statement was unmistakably a command. Brek didn't speak up again.

Something about that whole exchange gave me goosebumps. Brek seemed almost childish with the way he spoke but he was, without doubt or concern, advocating killing upwards of ten people. The pale batarian was making me more and more uneasy the longer I knew him. Fortunately it appeared that Javern had some semblance of a conscience and kept his friend in line.

I waited for the others to come to their decisions. Vilnius took the lead again. "I think it's best if we kill them. We're not going to intimidate them if they outnumber us by a factor of two each."

Javern nodded. "Yeah. And if we manage to scare them, who's to say they don't start again and get us all in trouble?"

"I-I don't k-know. _K-Killing_ them seems… h-harsh." The dappled greenish-beige salarian winced a little at the word 'killing'.

I sighed. "Yeah, but it's our best option. Our safest option."

Brek looked around at us excitedly. "So we're gonna shoot them?"

"Yes, Brek, we're going to shoot them." Javern sounded weary, and pressed a gloved hand to his helmet.

It did indeed appear that we had made a decision, with Hyrn completely outvoted.

"I suppose we should come up with a plan for attacking that place." I turned to Vilnius, who had been taking command so far and by the sound of it had the most combat experience out of all of us.

He poked his head around the wall we were behind to examine the house and then came back to us. "Well it looked like they're not expecting an attack; there are no guards or watchmen in the windows. There's a couple garbage bins around that'd make for decent cover and the doors look flimsy, one grenade would destroy them." He looked at each of us in turn, and I might have been able to hear the gears turning in his head. "I think I have a plan. Hyrn, you said you needed materials to make your explosives?"

"Y-Yes."

"How much do you have on hand?"

Hyrn pulled out a container from his belt that was slightly bigger than a water bottle and looked in it. "U-Um, I-I don't know. A-A few o-ounces, maybe h-half a pound."

"What can you make with that?"

"A-A half-d-dozen mines. A l-lot of g-grenades. O-One really big b-bomb."

Vilnius tapped his talons on his thigh. "Make a bunch of mines. Make sure they're remote-detonation."

"O-Okay. W-Why?"

"We're going to stick one of them to that big garage door and put the rest in a semi-circle around it. Then, you're going to activate the one on the door, scaring the people inside and giving us a clean shot at them. The rest I want you to detonate only if someone tries to charge at us."

_That's a smart idea._

Hyrn twitched a little but nodded and fired up his fabricator. Vilnius then focused on Javern and Brek. "Brek, I want you with me. We're going to move one of those dumpsters to the middle of the street and fire at them from there." Brek made no complaints about his assigned job. He seemed pleased. "Javern, do you think you could knock people out of cover, work crowd control?"

The impassive face of the helmet he was wearing gave nothing away. "Sure."

"And you," I straightened a little when I realized Vilnius was addressing me. There was something about him that commanded respect. "I need you to shut down their weapons, shields and omni-tools for as long as you can. We need every edge we can get."

I nodded. "You got it."

"You two," he gestured at Javern and I, "should find some cover off to the side. Once Hyrn's done I'll set the explosives up and we will get into position. Brek, start moving a bin over, I'll join you soon."

There was a half-minute of quiet activity as I found an abandoned building with a good view of the target, Vilnius snuck up to the large door and planted the mines and the garbage dumpster was positioned in the street. Hyrn joined me in the building and Javern set up behind a convenient bit of architecture on the other side of the street. During that whole time none of the inhabitants of the house noticed us, but I saw someone pass by the windows once or twice and heard the sounds of loud music coming from within.

I checked over all of my equipment again and took a few steadying breaths.

_It's okay. I'm not alone. I've got armor. I've got a gun. I am not on the defensive. I know the way out of here. They probably don't have very good equipment. They're not even going to be shooting at me. It's okay. It's still smarter than stabbing a krogan. Oh god, what if they have krogan fuck fuck fuck- CALM DOWN. BREATHE. It'll be okay._

I crouched by the window and readied my omni-tool. A few seconds later, Vilnius' voice came though the speaker in my helmet, icily calm.

"Go."

Hyrn, set up right next to me, pushed a button on his 'tool and there was an explosion followed by the sound of buckling and shredding metal. I peeked out the window and saw that the mine had destroyed the door completely. People were stumbling around inside yelling at each other, several batarians and turians along with what might have been an asari. I didn't wait for them to notice us, I started hacking any weapons or armor I could see. A few spotted Brek by the dumpster and tried to fire, but their guns were overheated and Vilnius picked them off with a few careful shots. I carefully buried my reaction to their deaths and forced myself to ignore the bodies.

The initial group went down quickly, but the next wave was far more prepared. They were all armed and armored, and were making use of the limited cover inside the house. It was harder for me to target their equipment, and the return fire was forcing Vilnius and Brek to keep down. Vilnius called out over the radio, "Javern, a little help?!" Suddenly a wave of blue energy grabbed one of the gang members and pulled him out from behind the table he'd been hiding behind. I quickly sabotaged his shielding and Brek finished him in a few shots. We utilized similar tactics to eliminate the rest of them. At one point it sounded like Vilnius had been hit, but he didn't say anything and kept firing.

Another group poured into the garage from deeper inside the house, this one having some turians, a salarian and a krogan. I immediately tried to take down the shields on the krogan's armor, but the salarian spotted me and with a wave of his omni-tool mine was forced into a shutdown. _Fuck fuck fuck. _"Fucker turned off my 'tool,", I shouted over the radio. I pulled out my pistol, but the subtle shaking in my hands I hadn't noticed before made it very hard to aim. The enemy salarian had his gun pointed at me and seemed to not have the same problem, so I ducked down behind the wall and heard bullets wiz just over my head.

I looked over at Hyrn, who had barely moved since the beginning of the combat, warily glancing out his window every few seconds. "You okay?"

He jumped and stared at me before merely nodding.

I heard my omni-tool chime as it came back online, and I looked through the window again. The turians were taking potshots from behind the furniture inside, while the krogan seemed perfectly at ease standing out in the open. His shields had gone down by the look of it, but he was shrugging off the gunfire like it was nothing. The salarian had lost interest in me and appeared to be trying to do something to Javern, who was refusing to come out of cover. Seeing an opportunity, I waited until he tried to target the biotic again and hit him with my version of dampening and making his omni-tool sputter out. He glanced around with a scowl on his face before setting his sights on me. I wasn't quick enough this time and he fired two shots at my head. One hit my shield, but the second hit the left side of my face. I had ducked down felt along the left side of my helmet before the pain finally kicked in and it took everything I had not to scream.

_God this fucking hurts why does it hurt so damn bad agh fuck damn bitch fucker._

Hyrn scurried over to me but I waved him away and he backed off, shooting me worried looks.

There was a sudden burst of activity over the radio; I could vaguely hear the voices coming from Hyrn's omni-tool and my helmet. The others had been making small comments throughout the fight, but I'd mainly tuned it out unless it pertained to me. This time I focused on it, wanting to distract myself. "Pull the tech out… salarian down. Focus on krogan now. Damnit, he's just ignoring us, Shawna, do something about his gun!"

Still nearly blinded by pain, I clambered up to the window and tried to see what was going on. The tech who had shot me was dead _don't look don't think about it_ along with one of the turians, but the krogan was still standing. I fumbled with my omni-tool for a few seconds before managing to target his rifle and make it overheat. Instead of retreating, however, the krogan threw the useless gun aside and started to charge at Vilnius and Brek's cover. Vilnius was shouting over the comm again. "Hyrn! Blow the mines! Now!" Hyrn hastily complied, and there was a thunderous boom and plume of smoke accompanied by a slightly squishy noise. When the smoke cleared the charred body of the krogan was visible. He was still wriggling and moving, but he seemed to be having difficulties with both his legs and one of his arms blown off. Pale orange blood pooled around his thrashing body. _Look away, ignore, don't watch._ One of the turians had been standing when the mines had gone off, and now he was on the ground bleeding out. The last one poked his head out to look at the carnage and was shot by Brek. Everything was silent.

I sat down again and took off my gloves and helmet so I could feel my cheek. It still hurt like hell, and I could feel blood running down my face and neck, but the wound felt shallow. I was about to call myself lucky when I traced the graze father back and felt what remained of my left ear.

My first thought was _I'm glad my translator's on my right ear._ My second thought was _AH! Holy fuck my ear! It's practically gone! Holy fuck holy fuck shit what the hell?! That's _not_ okay! That is so not okay with me!_

I was just sitting there, in state of shock, when I heard low whimpers coming from a few feet next to me. I gingerly turned my head and saw Hyrn staring out the window. He was shaking twice as hard as usual, and a strange, sad crooning noise was coming out of his mouth. Eager to distract myself from my new lack of ear, I sidled over to him and gave him a nudge. "Hey."

He didn't respond. I followed his gaze out the window and to the krogan that was bleeding to death in the street. Every shudder the krogan made caused Hyrn to wince.

_Why is- oh._

I grabbed the salarian by the shoulders and pulled him away from the window to face me. "Hey, stop looking, you shouldn't watch."

His voice was hoarse and hollow-sounding. "B-B-But I-I-I-"

"I know. Don't look. Trust me." I pulled him farther away from the ghastly view. He didn't resist at all.

"H-He-He-H-He's s-d-de-ead-d." Hyrn's breathing was harsher now and his orange eyes were wild.

"Shh. Stop."

He tried to pull away from me and started thrashing. His speech was barely understandable at this point. "I-I-I _k-killed_ h-hi-im. I-I Ki-illed him-m!"

"Hey!" I grabbed him a little tighter. "Just listen to me, okay. Stop for a moment and breathe."

"Is he okay?" I nearly jumped when Vilnius' voice appeared right behind me. I hadn't even heard him enter the building.

My voice was a bit harsh at this point from pain and worry. "No, he's not. He's just killed someone. What did you think he'd be, fucking happy?"

The turian walked into my sightlines and stared at what had been my ear. "Are _you_ okay? That doesn't look good."

Hyrn was still muttering and fighting my grasp, and I had no patience whatsoever. "_No shit_, I lost an _ear_! Now, unless you're going to be _helpful_ instead of asking dumb questions, go away!"

Vilnius' helmeted face offered no expression, but he left without a retort.

It took a while of holding him still and muttering meaningless comforts before Hyrn finally calmed down enough that I didn't think he'd run off and do something stupid like shoot himself. I heard two solitary shots coming from the house, but otherwise it was quiet. I picked up my helmet, walked out into the street and saw Brek, Javern and Vilnius sorting through a pile of weapons and miscellaneous objects. The turian was scanning each gun and commenting aloud.

"-six assault rifles and a sniper rifle. It looks like some of them have mods on them and different ammo blocks. The krogan had a sledgehammer block in his rifle, and the asari had several toxic-based blocks. The salarian tech had phasic rounds, I wonder where he found those?"

_That would be how he got past my shield, the fucker._

I scanned the others for injuries. Javern was unharmed, but seemed a little shell-shocked, staring into space and acting nervous. Brek was a bit scraped up but was otherwise fine, not bothered at all by the violence. I hadn't noticed when he came to check on Hyrn and I, but Vilnius had gotten shot in his shoulder. It looked like he'd treated it himself with medi-gel. He appeared unconcerned, so I didn't bring it up. "What were those two shots?"

"There were two still alive." Vilnius didn't look up at me. I didn't need to hear more.

I felt at my ear again. The blood was clotting, but my ear had not miraculously reformed and it still hurt like a bitch. _Goddamn, my ear. I can't believe… I just had an ear and now I don't._ It was extremely surreal to have lost something I once thought was integral to my being. I wasn't sure how to feel.

_It could have been worse. I could have lost an eye._ I shuddered. That would have been horrible. _I could have died._ Also horrible.

The four of us looked over the weapons until a familiar shuttle flew over and landed a few yards away. The recruiter and his team exited the vehicle and looked the scene over. "Well, you got the job done." He looked slightly surprised. "Congratulations. You've been accepted into the Blue Suns."

**AN: Gah. Unintentionally long chapter for an unintentionally long wait. Sorry, but I had finals. Now that it's over, I can probably write more.**

**Also this chapter was a bitch to write for unknown reasons.**

**The bonus chapter has been added onto chapter 14 for simplicity's sake.**

**I hope you got your fill of action, because next chapter's likely to be nothing but a massive info-dump.**

**Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to reassure myself that my ear is still here.**


	16. Chapter 16

**December 1****st**

**11:12 OST**

It had definitely been one of those days that felt a lot longer than it was. It had been around seven o'clock when I left my apartment and now only four hours later I was stumbling toward the door to the lobby, but those four hours had felt like days.

The cold tingling of the medi-gel on the left side of my face was still very odd-feeling, but it was vastly preferable to the throbbing pain that had been there before. Apparently free medical treatment came as a perk of employment with the Blue Suns, as I had been taken care of with no questions asked. The batarian medic with the team that had transported us told me that the external part of the ear hadn't been completely ripped off like I had thought, but most of it was shredded. I couldn't really see or feel it due to the medi-gel, so I'd have to evaluate the damage later. My helmet had superficial damage, the bullet had not only bypassed my shields but had also gone through the opening on the lower half of the face area. There was some tearing to the interior padding, but otherwise it was fine. I was going to have the mouthplate up from now on after this.

Another mark of being in the Blue Sun's employ was still stinging a little on my right shoulder. I had nearly forgotten that the Blue Suns had tattoos somewhere on their bodies as proof of membership. One of the turians on the other team had done it and he seemed decently skilled. It looked rather good, like something I might have gotten done on my own. The shoulder had seemed best, I could easily cover it if I had to and it wasn't anywhere obvious or private. I had never gotten a tattoo before and had expected it to hurt more, but having two gunshot wounds still aching put it in perspective.

The turian that had recruited me, who later introduced himself as Sergeant Dyric, arranged for my medical treatment as well as Vilnius' and told us to go home after the tattoo was done, but not before divvying up the weapons salvaged from the gang. Everyone had gotten something: Vilnius acquired a new pistol, Javern got a pistol and shotgun, Brek gained a better assault rifle along with one of the pistols and Hyrn was given the sniper rifle. I myself had an Avenger assault rifle folded up on my back. The sergeant had kept the mods for the merc company, claiming that the weapons were inexpensive and easy to find but some of the weapon mods they'd found were on the rare side and might be of value. He did, however, give Hyrn, Vilnius and I some of the omni-tools recovered from the gang members. I got the 'tool of the salarian who shot me, which I felt equal amounts gratified and perturbed about.

The sergeant distributed payment, six hundred credits each, to the other recruits. My payment was reduced to one hundred for the earlier repairs. We were then all told to come to the Blue Sun base in Gozu District tomorrow. The team of rookies had gone our separate ways after that. Javern and Brek seemed only too happy to go and Vilnius had quietly sneaked off while I wasn't looking. Hyrn still looked a bit out of it and distant, but he assured me he could get home on his own so I let it be. I had made it back to my apartment in one piece when I was in his shoes, despite still not remembering the trip.

I was looking over my newly-acquired omni-tool as I shambled over to the front door of the apartment complex. As I entered, Taren shot up from the front desk and hurried over to me.

"Where have you been? Are you okay?" I was way too tired to try and decipher his facial expression and tone, but making a guess based on his previous interaction with me I thought he might have actually be worried for me. I remembered deciding to not tell him what I was doing, and now I regretted causing him concern.

It took me a moment to get the words out; my mouth was very dry. "I'm okay. I've been hired by the Blue Suns."

The batarian was edging into my personal space, but I found I didn't mind that much. He was glancing between the assault rifle on my back, my damaged helmet and my face. "You what? Why did you- is that medi-gel on your face?" Taren's voice got higher when he noticed that, and he took another step closer.

"I got shot. It's okay. They treated it." I was still kind of mumbling. "Look, 'm tired. I think I'm gonna sleep for a bit, m'kay? But everything's fine, you don't need to worry." I took a careful look at his face. He looked unsure, but he just nodded and backed off. I wandered down to my room, locked my door and flopped on my cot. I was out like a light in a few seconds.

**December 2****nd**

**03:52 OST**

I had been drifting in and out of consciousness for a few hours now. My dreams were unnerving and unpleasant, but not enough to make me get up. I just lingered in a malaise. I felt somewhat sore from sleeping in my armor, and my right side was reminding me that it was recently injured. The medi-gel had lost its coldness and the pain was beginning to seep in again. A minor buzz I associated with an oncoming headache lingered in my brain, but I was unmotivated to get up and find my very small stash of painkillers. I just wanted to lay there all day and drift.

In truth I was letting myself exist in this unthinking state because I knew if I started thinking I'd remember that I had been party to about fifteen people's deaths yesterday and that I now had a job where that was a regular occurrence. It was better to just not think and not have to deal with that existential crisis.

_I have to get up._

_No I don't._

_Yes I do._

_No. I don't._

_There's this thing. It's called food. I kinda need it to survive._

_Screw food. Who needs food anyways?_

_I'm also thirsty._

_Screw water. Liquidious bastard._

_I need to do something about the headache._

_I hurt _everywhere else_. Why not my head too?_

_Get the fuck up. If I want to keep the job I just got I need to get up in the next few hours and go to the base._

…_goddamnit._

I carefully rolled off the cot and onto the floor, where I flopped around for a bit before pulling myself up into a standing position. I staggered about the small room getting things to eat, drink and kill my pain while I shook off the drowsiness.

Once I was feeling a bit more alive I did my usual exercise routine, then pulled out the salarian's omni-tool. It looked like I'd have my work cut out for me reconfiguring it; not only was it in a different language but it looked like it had a different operating system too. Trying to access it with my own omni-tool, one on each arm, had some success but I'd have to spend some time hacking it and changing its language settings before I could really use it. I deactivated it but left it attached to my right wrist and didn't reattach my gloves. Instead I got out my new gun, which was a red color and had the Elkoss Combine symbol on it. It was heavier and bulkier than I was used to, but that was to be expected. After some exploration, I found the button that triggered the folding-unfolding mechanism. It appeared to be functional, and my helmet's HUD linked up with its smart targeting system with no problem.

_I'll have to start practicing with this too._

I turned the rifle over in my hands, looking it over and familiarizing myself with every detail of it. Something caught my eye, a speck of dark blue contrasting with the red paint. A chill came over me. I dabbed tentatively at the spot but it stuck to the gun's surface. I scraped it off with a nail and it cracked and flaked. My hand shook as I looked at the dried blue crust on my skin.

I rushed over to the sink and began washing my hand off.

Thoughts bubbled up out of the dark corners of my mind, but I just scrubbed and rubbed and pushed back at them. I pushed until they were buried, still there but out of my consciousness. I did not want them, I did not need them.

I stopped cleaning my hand. The area of skin I'd been cleaning was red and irritated. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and gave one final mental push.

_Moving on. Just keep moving on. I need to go to the Blue Sun's base around 10:00. I have several hours. _I gripped the sides of the sink and leaned forward, contemplating my options. _I can go to Lagrange Point. I can get some target practice. I can get started on hacking the salarian's omni-tool. I can talk to Taren. I can try to talk to Lera._

Lera had contacted me a few days after our falling out. She still seemed upset with me but she accepted my apology, which was about all I could ask for. I hadn't told her what I was doing yesterday either, and I had no idea how she'd react. _I should probably get that out of the way. I'd rather not, but if she finds out from Taren I'll never hear the end of it._

Making my decision, I sent a short text message to her omni-tool requesting a live communication. A couple minutes later, my 'tool was pinged and a vid screen popped up with Lera's familiar facemask on it. "Hey, what's going on?" She sounded a bit distracted, and I couldn't recognize where she was. It looked like she was working on something in front of her.

I frowned a little. "Is this a good time? You look like you're in the middle of something."

"Huh?" She turned to look at something behind her, then looked back at whatever she was working on. "Oh, its fine, I can talk. Your text said you had something to tell me?" She hadn't noticed the medi-gel on my face, for which I was grateful. She might have flipped her lid otherwise.

I swallowed and gathered up my courage. "Uh, yeah… um, I kinda joined the Blue Suns yesterday."

"Wait, what?" She stopped whatever it was she was doing and looked straight at the vid-cam. "You did what?!"

"I was hired by the Blue Suns."

"_Why?_" Lera's tone was incredulous and scathing at the same time.

"Because it's a job." I felt a strong need to defend myself, and my retort was a bit harsh. "Because I'll be getting an actual paycheck for once!"

"There's no need to get bitchy." There was a note of affront in her voice and I backpedalled, recognizing my error from previous situations. I regretted telling her what being 'bitchy' meant in English now.

"I'm sorry, I just… I needed a job. You understand, right?" I tried to make my words sound as non-confrontational and apologetic as possible.

Lera's response was less heated but still pointed. "Yeah, I do, but this? Being a mercenary? Are you crazy?"

"Well, why not? I have armor, and a gun. They weren't just talking anyone and they still let me in, so they most think I'm worth something."

"Yeah, as a throwaway fleshbag!"

"…what?" I had never heard that particular idiom before. "Y'know what, nevermind. Yeah, I'm probably just cannon fodder to them right now, but if I perform well-"

"You mean if you don't _die_!" Lera interrupted.

I continued on as if she hadn't said anything. "-then they'll take me seriously. This is my chance to move up and move on! Right now I'm just a lowlife thief, an easy victim. With the Blue Suns I won't have to be."

"No, you'll just be a thug and a murderer." My breathing stopped, and I froze. Lera seemed to recognize that she had said something offensive, as it was now her that was retreating. "I didn't mean- I-I just-"

"No, you meant it. And you're right. But I'm already a murderer, aren't I?" My face felt blank, numb almost except for my left cheek and ear. My voice was equally blank. My family had accused me of being almost robot-like on occasion, and this was a prime example. It took a little effort to strangle the lingering thought of my family as Lera began speaking again.

"I just think that it's not the best job for you. You're… not the mercenary type, Shawna. You're not violent or mean or tough. You've killed, yeah, but you're not a murderer." She sighed. "I'm just worried. It's not a stable or safe job."

"It's the only job I've gotten since I ended up here." I wanted her to understand, I needed this. "I told you what it was like those first few days."

Those days sickened me to think about. I still remembered how hungry and scared I had been, how desperate I'd gotten before I found my omni-tool. In my slightly more masochistic moments, I wondered what would have happened to me if one of those strip clubs or brothels hadn't had such high standards.

I seized and crushed that thought as well.

Lera sounded like she'd given up, her tone was resigned. "Yeah. I-I get it. I just… think about what you're doing, alright? Make sure it's what you want."

The stiff blankness of my face began to relax. "I need this, Lera. It's not a matter of want. But, thank you." We didn't speak for a moment. I felt a desire to move on, change the conversation. "So, how are you? What're you up to?"

"Oh!" She swiftly jerked her head towards the thing she had been working on before. "I, ah, got hired a few days ago. I'm working in a different repair shop, thank the Ancestors. If I had to spend one more day with that damned volus bosh'tet I was going to kill him." Lera started working again, vaguely gesturing every once in a while as she described in detail how she had been going to kill her previous employer and how her new asari boss was vastly preferable. I nodded and made conversational noises when appropriate, while a little warmth began to return to me. The smile on my face was genuine.

**AN: I am so very sorry. Two weeks is inexcusable. The first few days I had good reason. My mother needed my help with a lot of yard work, meaning I was busy for most of the day and very tired at night, but these past few days I've just been distracted. I couldn't write for more than a half-hour or so at a time before I ended up reading some other fanfiction or something. I'm sorry, and I'll try not to do it again.**

**More Lera and Taren this chapter, because I realized that in the excitement of introducing new OCs I was ignoring my first two friends.**

**I've had two reviewers suggest that I not pair with anyone. One of them was for reasons that were just downright silly, but they didn't log in so I could respond to them. They know who they are. But, I will admit that it is an option I am now considering. Another person suggested that I pair Shawna/myself with an OC, and **_**that**_** I had already been thinking of. The pairing poll on my profile has been altered, and if you had voted on the previous one I would appreciate it if you dropped by that one too. If I get enough votes, like six or something, for the OC pairing I'll list OCs by name, and I'll add more if ones I might be interested in are introduced. (note: I will only list a pairing if I or Shep would potentially be interested in them and they would be interested in us. So, there's zero probability of like a Shawna/Legion pairing or something like that. Otherwise I'm open to suggestion.)**

**Also, just because I'm having a poll and talking a lot about pairings doesn't mean that this is going to turn into a solely romanced-based story, as one or two of you have been worrying. If there is romance, it will be featured when appropriate but it will not usurp the central story.**

**Wow this is a long AN. Again, I'm sorry, I hope you all can forgive me. Next chapter shouldn't take this long.**


	17. Chapter 17

**December 2****nd**

**04:56 OST**

A short while after ending my conversation with Lera I started getting ready to leave. I gathered up my equipment and secured everything, deep in thought as I did so.

I felt oddly lighter after talking to Lera. I'd had so few people to talk to lately that I forgot how much of a relief it could be to just have a normal conversation. Though, 'normal' was a subjective term when speaking of my friends. I've had legitimately engaging conversations with them about the best ways to dispose of corpses, and this was when I was just a regular high school kid. The thought of those particular friends didn't hurt as much, as I hadn't seen them in years and had moved on long ago. Now they were just fond memories of playing flash games in the computer lab and crazy, slightly disturbing conversations in Mythology class; pleasant things to remember with no negative connotations.

I kept my thoughts focused on Lera and those old friends. I didn't want to lose the warm lightness just yet.

I had a feeling she and they would have gotten along splendidly. She had the same sarcastic, nearly violent sense of humor. Though, she might have taken offense to their lack of seriousness. Lera was dead serious about the things that mattered to her whereas my old friends were American high schoolers, the very definition of flippant disregard. And her strong personality and argumentativeness probably would have rubbed them the wrong way.

Sometimes it surprised me that it didn't rub _me_ the wrong way, with how often we argued about things one would think we hated each other. But as common as it was for us to disagree and how on more than a few occasions we ended up insulting one another, in some ways we understood each other better than anyone else. We thought on similar wavelengths, and we had similar struggles. Sometimes she annoyed me to all hell with how she thought she knew what was best for me, but I knew she acted like that because she cared.

I finished gathering up everything and left my room, locking the door behind me in an almost reflexive motion. I climbed the stairs and stopped in the lobby. Taren was engrossed in a datapad and hadn't heard me come up. I could have left quietly and avoided talking to him, but he deserved better than that and I had the time.

I carefully stalked up to the desk. Whatever he was reading must have been fascinating, because he didn't even twitch. Now that I thought about it, I'd often seen him reading something while he watched the front desk. I'd initially thought that it had something to do with managing the complex, but it seemed impossible to be _that_ interested in reports of broken toilets.

Well, that was as good an icebreaker as any. "What'cha reading?"

Taren's head jerked up and he nearly dropped the datapad. "Wha- Shawna! When'd you- Don't sneak up on me!"

He seemed a bit flustered but not truly upset, so my response was glib. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"Oh, don't take that tone with me." He gave me a mild glare, but quickly shifted gears. "Are you okay?"

The smile on my face melted away. "Yes, Taren. I'm fine. A little sore, but there's not much that can be done 'bout that, so…" I tried to get away from the topic. "You didn't answer my question. What are you reading? I swear, everytime I'm up here you're reading something."

He briefly looked down at the datatpad in his hands, then hurriedly shoved it in a drawer. "Oh, it's nothing." His two pairs of eyes blinked slightly out of sync.

Batarian facial expressions might have been different, but hiding something after someone asks about it was an intergalactic sign of having something to hide. "It didn't look like nothing. You were really into it."

"No, really. It's nothing." He was looking straight at me, but his eyes kept blinking unevenly, something I'd never seen before.

I grinned. "I think you protest too much. So, what is it? Some cheesy spy novel? A love letter?" The grin became a grimace. "It's not porn is it? Don't tell me if it is, I really don't want to know."

"Agh, it's not-" Taren made the oddest noise in the back of his throat. "that's not it! Ngh, fine. If you really have to know…" He pulled the datapad back out and showed it to me. It appeared to be a book. The title across the top of the screen read 'Binary Lovers: a romance novel'.

I stared blankly at the title for a while desperately trying to contain myself, but it was in vain. I set the datapad down and broke out into undignified giggles. I heard Taren sigh to himself. "Yes, yes, have a good laugh at me for my choice in reading material!"

"I-I'm sorry, I just-" I was hunched over with a hand covering my mouth. "- I just, didn't-" Another fit of giggles came over me. I took a moment to breathe and collect myself. "I didn't expect that! Wow…"

The reddish batarian still seemed a little miffed. "What, am I not allowed to enjoy good literature?"

"No, no it's not that! I just didn't think you'd be… I dunno… a fan of romance novels? It's fine, it's good. Just seemed a bit weird at first." I was having trouble with wiping the smirk off my face, but Taren didn't seem to mind as much. "So, _is_ it any good?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah, actually." He looked surprised that I would show any interest. "It was written by an asari author. I guess she had centuries to learn how to write well. It's about an asari poet and a salarian, of all things, falling in love."

That struck me as odd. "What d'you mean, 'of all things'? What's wrong with salarians?" I remember hearing about asari-salarian relationships from the games. They were rare but not unheard of. They might not have sex drives like other races did but that didn't mean they were incapable of love.

"Nothing. It's just…" He appeared to be trying to find the right words. "They don't breed like we do."

For a moment I wanted to push the subject further, but as I thought about it I realized where that conversation might lead and the big red warning light for awkwardness started flashing in my head. I might have been more comfortable with Taren now but in no way, shape, or form did I want to discuss reproductive biology with him. I hastily cast about for a different topic. "Umm. I met a salarian yesterday. He's sort of my coworker now." I briefly wondered if Hyrn made it back okay. As I remembered him, something I wanted to say to Taren occurred to me, but right now didn't look like the best time.

Taren suddenly became concerned. "About that…" He looked away from me. "I know it's not really my place to comment on your personal business, I'm just your landlord, but I'm not sure that working for the Blue Suns is a good idea."

_What? Is that why he's so… reluctant to comment? Why does he- doesn't he think we're- he has every right to comment on my personal business! He's my friend!_

Any trace of the smile I had before was gone now. "It's not, but it's the only one I've had. And you're not just my landlord." He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. I had been wrong, now was the best time for this. "I should have said this before, but thank you… for helping me before. You had no reason to. You're more than just a landlord to me, Taren, you're my friend."

He was speechless for a moment but then he just smiled and said, "You're welcome."

**December 2****nd**

**09:51 OST**

I spoke for a while with Taren, but eventually someone came in and he had to attend to business. From what I could tell I was getting a new neighbor, one of many that I'd managed to avoid this whole time. Taren was pleasant but not all of his other tenants were people I wanted to know.

I had spent the last couple hours trying to distract myself while I grew increasingly nervous. I stopped in at Lagrange Point for a half-hour, but the people and noise didn't calm me like it used to. It reminded me a little too much of the chaos of yesterday's fight. I tried out my new assault rifle on the graffiti-covered walls of an alley, but eventually my arms got tired. I'd have to work on enduring long periods of firing. The rest of the time I sat in some secluded corner trying to hack the salarian's omni-tool and fiddling with my own. Hacking my new omni-tool was proving troublesome and I was definitely going to need more time with it. I took a look at the customization programs available for omni-tools and found a wide variety of options, some of which were even free. I settled on just one program that turned my 'tool a cyan blue. At around a half-hour to ten, I got up and started towards the Blue Suns base.

The Blue Suns base was not what I had expected, though I wasn't quite sure _what_ I had been expecting.

The address I had been given by Sergeant Dyric led to what appeared to be an office building. The entrance looked like a lobby, the sort you'd expect from a real business with somewhat nice furnishings and actual carpet. There was a secretary seated in a booth behind what I would bet was bullet-proof glass. A few people were waiting in the comfy looking chairs and they gave me odd looks as I came in. I walked up to the secretary's window, preparing to say something but drawing a complete blank. The secretary, one of only three drell I'd ever seen, took one look at me and said, "Go through the employee's entrance."

I hastily redirected my steps to the door labeled 'Employees Entrance' in the back of the room. After hesitating for a moment I opened the door and walked into an empty off-white hallway with a couple doors to the sides leading to what I thought might have been offices, all of which had red access buttons. I read the plaques on each door carefully. 'Yerita T'yona' was apparently the 'Public Relations Officer', a 'Erinle Huke Ayn Wamng Tuntil' was 'Head of Finance' and 'Harold Patel' was the 'Internal Affairs Associate'.

_Well hell, this is an actual business. Maybe I'm a bit in over my head…_

I was not corporate material by any means.

Near the end of the hall, I found the office of 'Sergeant Dyric, Head of Security'. I lingered awkwardly outside the door for a bit while I tried to decide whether to knock or not. I had no idea if that would be the proper thing to do socially. I didn't even know if turians knocked on doors.

_If they don't, then what the hell would they do? Yell? Jiggle the doorknob? Just burst in?_

_Stop being stupid. One, there's no doorknob. Two, there's a pingy thing on this one just like the one on my door. So don't be a wimp and ping it._

Before I could stop and overthink it, I activated the door-pinger. Not three seconds later the access button turned green and the door opened. On the other side was a decently-sized office with a large metal desk, several chairs, a few screen displays on the back wall and a strange alien potted plant in the corner. Scattered all over the desk were datapads, and there was an active terminal in the middle of it. The sergeant from yesterday was seated at the desk. He indicated with his head that I should come in without glancing up, which I immediately did. The door closed behind me.

"You're the human girl from yesterday, right? What's your name again?" Sergeant Dyric sounded almost disinterested to me, but it might have been that he was still busy.

"Shawna Brown, sir." I added the honorific just to be safe.

The turian looked up from his terminal and twitched a mandible. "First off, there's no need to call me sir. Secondly, you're five minutes early."

I realized that I was staring too much and forced myself to look away a little before making eye contact again. Then I remember that I'm talking to someone of a completely different race that has entirely different conventions on what counts as appropriate eye contact. That was both frustrating and comforting.

I shrugged a little. "I prefer to be early."

Sergeant Dyric fixed me with an odd look before he went back to his terminal. "Well, the rest of the recruits should be here soon. Sit down and please be quiet, I have work to do."

I sat in one of the uncomfortable metal chairs and tried to make my mind go blank. It was surprisingly easy, as the lighting in the office wasn't too bright and there were no distracting noises. The sergeant's terminal's input was holographic, and made no sound as he used it. I started to hear that ringing in my ears that I can only hear when it's totally silent. Five minutes passed like it was fifteen seconds, and the ping at the door surprised me. At his desk Sergeant Dyric reached over and tapped an input on the screen behind him. The door opened, revealing Vilnius and Hyrn. I felt an unexpected bit of happiness to see that Hyrn was fine and didn't appear to have hurt himself since I last saw him.

Both of the rookies seemed startled to see me there, but Vilnius recovered quickly and walked into the office to stand in front of the desk. If I didn't know better, I'd have said that he was fighting the urge to stand at attention. His feet snapped together, he stood even straighter than before and I could have sworn I saw his arm twitch. Hyrn hesitated outside but in the end he followed Vilnius inside. I felt a little weird just sitting there and stood up to stand next to Hyrn. Just as the sergeant opened his mouth to speak, two people came walking down the hallway and stopped at the open door. Sergeant Dyric waved Javern and Brek inside, and once they entered he closed the door again.

"Alright, you're all here. You should sit down; this isn't going to be a short conversation." The turian watched silently as we each grabbed a chair. "Now, I've given this little speech several times and I've heard almost every question ever asked about it, so if you have a question please wait until I'm done before blurting it out. I might just answer it anyways. Understood?" We nodded almost in unison. "Good."

The sergeant stood up from his desk and looked around at each of us. As he spoke it became obvious that he had indeed said this many times before, it sounded almost rehearsed. "You are now in the employ of the private security corporation known as the Blue Suns. This comes with both benefits and responsibilities. Some of the benefits include exclusive training, free medical care, unlimited usage of the company facilities and access to higher grade weapons, armor and even genetic enhancement for those that perform well."

_Genetic enhancement? Hmm._

"However, to earn these things you must serve the company. Whatever you might think, whatever you have read or heard, the Blue Suns is first and foremost a _business_, and a business must provide quality service in order to be successful. The Blue Suns are one of the premiere contractors for private security in the galaxy. Whether this means guarding a facility or preemptively eliminating a potential threat is determined by the holder of the contract. The contract is all that matters, and if you break a contract there will be severe consequences. Contracts are given to those that your superiors think are best suited for the task. That may be a single team or an entire platoon. Depending on the nature or length of the contract, you will be paid either once the contract is complete or in regular amounts over time as specified in the contract."

_The contract's our new Bible, got it._

Sergeant Dyric shifted his weight to his other foot and continued talking. "Your ability to qualify for a contract is dependent on your previous performance and behavior. If you have a history of broken contracts or belligerent conduct, you will find it very difficult to acquire a contract. Complete your contracts, behave respectfully, and you will be amply rewarded. Unfortunately there may be times when there are few contracts available. In such times working at headquarters as support staff will make you eligible for payment until you are under contract again."

_I wonder if I could work solely as 'support staff'? What kind of work is that?_

The sergeant pauses momentarily, as though shifting gears, and he crosses his arms across his chest. "The internal ranking of troops within the Blue Suns organization closely resembles that of the militaries of various governments in that it comprises of ranked officers and personnel. The highest ranking officer in the Blue Suns is the Head of Operations. The current Head of Operations is Solem Del'Serah. Underneath him are several Commanders, each in charge of one zone of interest to the company. The Commander on Omega is Tarak Res'Loek. Commander Tarak has a few Captains that are responsible for overseeing the operation of a facility. Kortun Cherek is the Captain and CO of this facility. A number of Lieutenants serve as the CO of a platoon. At this facility we have five Lieutenants leading five platoons. Sergeants are NCOs, meaning that while they are not officers they are given authority and responsibility over the troops in their platoon. I am the sergeant of the Third Platoon."

Sergeant Dyric of the Third Platoon took a deep breath, seemly winded from the length of his speech. "The personnel are divided into ranks according to level of accomplishment and experience. The highest rank is that of Centurion. They are the most experienced and skilled troops in the Blue Suns. Below that rank is the rank of Legionnaire. They are above the average combatant in terms of ability. I myself am a Legionnaire. Lower than the Legionnaires is the rank of Principes. They consist of the regular personnel. At the very bottom is the Velites, the freshly recruited. You are now Velites of the Third Platoon."

_Yes, we know, we're at the bottom of the totem pole._

"Understand that you will not be afforded any excuses or allowed to shirk your responsibilities here. You will be held accountable for your behavior. That said, if you work hard you will find much of value within our organization." Having finally finished his presentation, the turian sergeant sagged a little and sighed. "I'm legally obligated to deliver that speech to each batch of velites. But really, just do as you're told and you'll be fine. Any questions?"

No one said anything. Brek looked like he was almost asleep, Vilnius appeared deep in thought, Javern seemed to have made up his mind about something and Hyrn was just staring at the sergeant. I spoke up.

"What kind of work do 'support staff' do?"

It seemed like he hadn't quite expected that, but he answered quickly. "Being 'support staff' just means you're on rotation for base duties. Equipment maintenance, guard shifts, medlab support, things like that. Everyone ends up on rotation every once in a while. It's steady pay and generally not hard."

"And earlier you mentioned genetic modification?"

"Yes, we have access to genetic modification packages, but they're only given out if you're a Legionnaire or if you pay out the cloaca for it." The turian gave me that odd look again. "Now, is that all?"

I nodded. "Yes, thank you." I had many other questions, but they could probably be answered without annoying my new superior.

"Okay." The sergeant sat back down at his desk. "Now, there's a few more things to discuss. Unless you're under a contract or on rotation, there are no scheduled work hours. You come and go whenever you like. But, you can only get a contract when you're here, so it's in your best interest to be here as often as possible. In fact some of the troops live here full time, we have living quarters in the building and there's some good restaurants in the neighborhood that deliver."

That briefly seemed very appealing, until I realized I'd be sleeping here. Alone. In a building full of aggressive men. _Nope. No way in hell._ My apartment suited me just fine. It wasn't that far a walk anyways.

He must have sensed that it wasn't an appealing option. "Some people like it here, some don't. It's your choice. One final thing, however." Everyone in the room seemed relieved at the thought of this conversation being over. "You need to decide if you're going to stay together or be put elsewhere. You were all lumped together for convenience, but it's understandable if you don't think you can work together. If you choose to go your own ways, you can try to find a different team or remain as an individual unit. Take a minute to think about but make it fast, the Lieutenant will want to know as soon as possible." He opened the door, and after a second we got up and exited the office into the empty hallway.

I turned at looked at the other 'velites', who were doing the same.

We had cooperated well enough to fight the gang, but I didn't know if we were 'team' material.

_This whole team thing sounds like a long-term deal. I'd be dealing with them on a regular basis. Can I handle working with them? Can I trust them?_

_Why not? Besides Brek, they seem okay for the most part._

_I've only known them for a day! You can't know someone completely after a day!_

_But I don't have to know them, I just have to work with them. Besides, how will it be any better with a different team?_

_I could work alone._

_HA! That's a laugh! Me, fight gangs and shit alone?!_

_They probably wouldn't send me alone, I'd be a supplement or grouped with other individuals._

_And I'd have no one watching my back. I need a team. These guys are likely the best I'm gonna get._

The internal conflict started and resolved rather quickly, and my mind was made up after a few moments. "I think we should stay together."

The other four recruits, who had been silently watching each other, turned their attention to me when I spoke up. Javern scowled. "And who says _you_ get to decide, _human_?" The emphasis he placed on the fact that I was human left no doubt as to his feelings on the matter.

_And not a moment after my decision I'm rethinking it. Yay racism._

I glared back. "One, I was stating an opinion. Two, don't be a dick."

The brown-skinned batarian's face momentarily twisted with what I was sure was rage, before he stopped and merely scowled.

Vilnius spoke next. "I agree. We should stay as a team."

I looked to Hyrn next. He was shaking just as much as he had been yesterday, but his eyes appeared a bit dull and tired. I reminded myself to try talking to him later, regardless of how things went. His orange eyes looked us all over, lingering for a bit longer on me, before he nodded and muttered a quick "Y-Yes."

Now the attention was focused on Javern, who sighed. "Alright, fine. We'll stick around." Brek nodded, and I was struck by how oddly obedient he acted. "It's not like the other teams are likely to be better."

Vilnius strided past me to open the door, and we all entered the office again to give the sergeant our answer.

I had the feeling that this was the start of something. Whether it would turn out good or bad, I couldn't tell yet.

**AN: I'm sorry for the ten day wait. Here's the info dump I promised two chapters back. Oh my motherfucking god so much research was involved. Well, maybe not *that* much, but a lot.**

**I'm tired, it's 3AM on the night of my second day of a new semester, so forgive the oddness that follows.**

**It's strange, I thought my break between summer and fall semesters would help with writing, but I seemed to have hardly written anything in that time. Maybe it's because I don't do as much walking, and walking really helps me think and plan shit out.**

**In the game the Blue Suns had a variety of ranks that told you a bit about their power level, but it revealed nothing about their internal structure. So I made one, making sure to use things that would make real world sense but also include things mentioned in the series. 'Principes' and 'Velites' are actual terms from the ancient roman military. Principes were young, healthy men with decent leather armor and weapons. Velites were the new, sickly, poor, or recently conquered. I imagine that in most cases in the Blue Suns, the two are merged into a 'trooper' caste unless the distinction becomes relevant. **

**I actually had a little chart drawn out and everything. I hope you fuckers- I MEAN MY LOVELY REVIEWERS appreciate it.**

**Anyway. With this, I pass 50k words. Holy balls. And I have over 150 reviews and 110 followers! Never in my wildest dreams- actually that's a lie, my wildest dreams involved becoming so popular that Bioware saw this and changed the ending of ME3 just because of this. That's why it's called a wild dream.**

**I'm very tired. Goodnight.**


	18. Chapter 18

**December 3****rd**

**08:12 OST**

I stared blankly at the gray-skinned turian that was currently trying to show my team how to perform proper maintenance on weaponry. He'd lost me quite a while ago, and he spoke at a rate that would make a salarian dizzy.

We were in the maintenance bay, a very large room filled to the brim with crates upon crates of weapons, armor, mods, mechs, ammunition blocks, explosive ordinance and I was sure a dozen other things that could be used to kill people. The crates were pushed up against the walls, leaving a wide open space for rows of tables, where various things were laid out and in several states of disassembly. There was another team at a different table sorting through what looked like mods. The whole place smelt like melted plastic and ozone, not very enjoyable but ignorable. The lighting was pleasant in my opinion, but I'm sure other humans were probably annoyed with how dim it was. It was uncomfortably cold, however, and I had to suppress a shiver as I tried to refocus on the turian who had offered to tutor us on maintenance.

"…and then you just reattach the last mechanism here, and the weapon is reassembled. Easy, right?" The gray turian looked back up at us, apparently expecting the team of velites to understand his fast-paced lecture. I turned and looked at my teammates. Vilnius was nodding, as though he'd understood completely. He was obviously in his element. Brek's expression was that of utter disinterest. Hyrn was blinking rapidly, looking as lost as I felt, and Javern had a small scowl on his face. I knew he hadn't followed the turian either, I saw him staring off into space earlier, and he was likely covering it up with hostility.

The turian stared, and then sighed. "Alright, you- uhh, Vilnius, go start looking over those rifles. You four, watch again _closely_. To start, you put pressure…"

**12:39 OST**

_Fuck, this place is big! Where the hell am I?_

After our first shift on duty rotations, the team had split up to eat and had agreed to meet back up outside of the maintenance bay at 13:00. I hadn't felt very hungry and had instead decided to explore, but inevitably got lost.

I walked down another metallic-grey hallway, passing by two batarians and an asari in Trooper armor. I'd been slightly surprised to learn that we wouldn't be getting the standard blue armor until we made principes, but it made sense. _Wouldn't want to waste equipment on someone if you didn't know they'd live to see another week_. I almost stopped them to ask for directions, but with the exception of Taren nearly every batarian I had ever met went out of their way to be unhelpful solely because of my race.

At the end of the hallway was a door to a room almost as big as the maintenance bay. Instead of crates, however, there were tables and benches spread out everywhere and there was a veritable sea of people, almost all of them in blue armor. It was incredibly noisy, with loud conversation, music, and what might have been a movie all going on at once. People were clustered into groups of approximately seven or eight, with a few groups attached to other groups to make a super-group. The smell of foreign food was overwhelming, and the room felt uncomfortably hot. If I had to hazard a guess, I had stumbled into the rec room.

I very nearly ran away. There was just so much noise and smells and people and I just wanted to be somewhere else. But if I didn't get directions then I'd probably be wandering around the damn building for another hour. I slid into the room and rested against the wall, letting the door close behind me. I closed my eyes and took deep, even breaths. Once I felt acclimated enough, I looked around for someone I could approach. It didn't take me very long to spot a lone asari leaning against a table and looking at her omni-tool. I took the least invasive route to her, and by the time I reached her she had already seen me, looking up as I approached. She was a deep, royal blue with wavy indigo facial markings and dark blue eyes. She cut me off before I could speak.

"You're one of the new velites, aren't you? Dyric mentioned you guys. I'm Eyria, team 32. We're in the same platoon." Her voice was deeper than most of the asari I'd met. Her eyes went to the left side of my face. "Nice scar."

I involuntarily reached up to touch my ear. The top portion of my ear was gone; the bullet had done so much damage that it had to be removed. The lower half was still intact, despite my initial diagnosis. Across my left cheek was a graze slightly deeper than the one on my shoulder. The sight of my mangled ear and scarred face was jarring to say the least, and I'd begun to avoid reflective surfaces. I grunted in a non-committal fashion as I traced the edge of the removed tissue with a gloved finger.

She turned her attention away from my ear, and I let my hand fall. "What do you need?"

_Did she say she was in team 32? We haven't been assigned a number as far as I know… I need directions first. I'll ask someone else later._

"Can you tell me where the maintenance bay is?"

**December 4****th**

**08:02 OST**

The medical bay was large and immaculately clean. There were several rows of bleach-white cots in the back and a plethora of medical equipment set up towards the front that for the life of me I couldn't understand. Bright florescent lighting bounced off the shiny metal machines. There were about a dozen people on the cots, but most of them appeared to be asleep at the moment besides a turian and a salarian who were watching some show from a screen on the back wall. A human guy was fiddling with one of the machines next to the salarian's cot, while two other people unpacked some crates in a far corner and another one checked up on the sleeping patients. In the front half of the room was a batarian working at a terminal. He got up as we walked in and grabbed a pile of datapads.

"Here." He thrust a datapad into each of our hands. "Read this. You're useless to me until you can understand everything in that text." Once each of us had one, the tan-colored batarian returned to his terminal. Javern cast a glance at Hyrn, Vilnius and I before he and Brek walked off to sit down together. Vilnius was already reading the required material and didn't acknowledge any of us. I met Hyrn's eyes, who just blinked and fidgeted with the datapad in his hands. I offered him a brief smile, which he returned after a few seconds, before I turned and found a bench to sit on. My salarian teammate joined me. I activated the datapad and it revealed itself to be some sort of beginner's manual for procedure in a medical facility.

Something niggled in the back of my mind for a bit. _I shouldn't be able to read this… why, what- oh, no visual translator, then how-_

I mulled over the puzzle for a bit until something occurred to me. I pulled up my omni-tool and searched for any running processes. Sure enough, it had linked with the datapad and switched its language settings to English when I turned it on.

_I suppose that makes sense. It would be annoying and time-consuming to have to alter the language settings every time you picked up a datapad that someone with a different language had used._

Something spiked in my memory and I remembered talking to Taren about his book a few days ago. I mentally facepalmed for not noticing the language change at the time. I returned my attention to the datapad, which proved to be an excruciatingly dry but educational read on how to not contaminate the medical equipment.

**December 5****th**

**09:28 OST**

I grumbled as I attacked the spot in front of me with the stiff-bristled brush in my hand, giving it another spray of the cleaning agent with the other hand.

The rust on the mech in front of me was stubborn as hell. I'd been scrubbing this particular one for half an hour, and I had made little progress. Vilnius and Brek had already completely cleaned two mechs in that time, though Javern was evidently as inept at this as I was because he was still on his second one of the day. Hyrn was working on the mech next to me, seemingly lacking his usual unstable energy. I was a little concerned about him.

I paused momentarily in my chore. "So, ah… how are you?" I did my best to keep my tone casual.

Hyrn hesitated for a second before answering in a defensive tone. "I-I'm f-fine."

I glanced at the salarian from the corner of my eye. I was not knowledgeable in salarian biology by any means, but he hadn't been that grey or thin when I first met him.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire._

But I remembered how much it bothered me when Lera told me I wasn't fine, and I felt the wave of tiredness caused by waking up from a nightmare after only two hours of sleep the night before. So after a moment, I merely said, "Okay, then." I resumed scrubbing my mech with vigor.

Hyrn cast me a relieved look before returning to his task. A few minutes later, he spoke up. "S-So… h-how are y-you?"

I stopped and thought about how best to answer that. I was getting better. I still had nightmares but they were fewer and less intense. I didn't feel as twitchy and aggressive as I had been. I still wasn't a hundred percent, I doubted I ever would be, but I wasn't quite so messed up. Taren and Lera were good for me, I could see that now, and having a stable job was doing wonders for my stress, though it came with its own problems.

I settled on the truth, as I usually did. "I didn't sleep well last night, but other than that I'm fine."

"O-Oh." He looked down at his brush and nodded. "That's g-good."

We both went back to brushing. The silence felt awkward, and I combed through my brain for a way to break it. I remembered that Hyrn had gone to one of the free classes offered to employees. I had no idea how good the classes were, but free was free. They had weapons training, biotic classes, even demolitions training, which Hyrn had attended.

Well, that was as good a way as any, and I was honestly curious. "How did that class go, the one you went to earlier?"

Hyrn jerked a little in surprise but quickly answered. "I-It was a-alright, I g-guess. I-Inform-mative. The t-teacher knew a l-lot."

_That sounds promising. _"Well that's good. I'm signed up for a weapons class tomorrow and a technical one the day after." I made a humming noise as though something had just occurred to me, when in truth I had the thought I was about to verbalize two days ago. "Maybe you should sign up for a weapon class too. Learn how to use that sniper rifle you got."

The salarian next to me didn't respond immediately. "…m-maybe. I might." His voice was soft with some unidentifiable emotion. I didn't over examine it.

I just wanted him to be able to protect himself. I wasn't entirely sure why, though I suspected it had something to do with how much he reminded me of myself sometimes, but I'd grown to like Hyrn a bit. And oddly enough, if I wasn't horribly misunderstanding it seemed like he was starting to see me as a friend.

I had so few of those that I was eager to gain another.

**December 6****th**

**10:54 OST**

Guard duty was, by far, both the easiest and most aggravating job we'd gotten. We were told to stand watch in front of the "visitor's entrance" that we had first come through and be on the lookout for suspicious behavior. I had seen another team doing the same thing that first day, and they had been too busy talking amongst themselves to even notice me as I had approached. I got the feeling that we'd gotten this post because it was the hardest to fuck up. No one was going to assault the Blue Sun's base head on except the other merc groups, and if they had invaded the district then we already had some serious problems.

There was literally nothing for us to do except talk. This of course led to frustration.

Javern and I had been arguing for several minutes and had reached the point of outright yelling. Vilnius and Hyrn had quietly edged away from us, while Brek silently glared at me. Passersby shot us odd looks, but neither of us cared.

Javern was a very opinionated person, and rather vocal. Normally I would have no issue with that, but when those opinions were generally either about my race or things I felt strongly about, it caused problems. I honestly couldn't help it, I could be very confrontational when things that mattered to me were questioned or slandered. Javern probably couldn't help it either; he was a product of his culture. I had no hard feelings or anything.

I just wished to god he would fall off the ledge over there and _die_.

"The caste system is an integral part of batarian culture! You can't just _remove_ the lower caste, the whole structure would fall apart!"

"You'd be better off! Every other race has outlawed slavery, and for good reason! It's an abomination!"

"No, what's an abomination is how you humans think you can tell everyone else how their society should work!"

"It's not just humanity! All of the Council races agree-"

"The Council rules don't matter, because batarians aren't part of the Council!"

"Only because they _left_!"

"Because _your_ kind was pushing us out of our territory and the Council refused to do anything about it!"

_He has a point. The Alliance was being too pushy._

I stopped and placed a hand on my helmet, sighing. "Okay, yeah, that wasn't right, we shouldn't have done that." Javern stared in surprise at me. "But slavery is and never will be okay."

That broke him out of shock. He scowled again. "There you go again, saying that everyone should abide by _your _rules! Why can't humans just accept that this is how we are?!"

"Because we're really not fond of having slavers attack our colonies and capture us. It's really not enjoyable and we'd prefer if it didn't happen at all." I deadpanned. He seriously did not understand. "How did you think we'd feel? How did you think we'd respond to seeing people butchered, tortured, rounded up like _fucking cattle_?"

This gave him pause, but soon he responded in an equally neutral tone. "Then Alliance should defend their colonies better. The strong dominate the weak, that's how the galaxy works. Maybe you're too new here to know that."

I groaned. "I am just so fucking done. I'm done with this conversation."

"Ha, so you're giving up?!"

"God, just… fuck you, four-eyes!"

"Ape-fucker!"

"Assface!"

It just degenerated from there.

**14:23 OST**

Being a group that made most if not all of its money in mercenary activities, it made sense that the Blue Suns would have a big and well-equipped firing range. There was room for over fifteen people to practice simultaneously, and a variety of targets for just about any sort of enemy type. Along the edge of the room were workbenches with various tools and computer interfaces for weapon modification, along with crates of specialized ammo-blocks for practice firing.

The instructor for the weapon class, a human guy who introduced himself as York, was obviously skilled with his rifle and a decent teacher, giving each person the attention they needed.

All of this barely helped. I was still hopeless with my rifle.

"-godmotherfuck- agh."

I hadn't even hit close to the target.

"No, you need to brace it against your shoulder." York tugged the rifle up higher on my chest so the butt of it was against my shoulder. It felt so damn weird, and I couldn't hold it there. He sighed. "Just work on that for a bit, okay? I'm going to go check on the rest."

I nodded, and the instructor went down the range to talk to another student. I refocused on the target and tried to brace the rifle on my shoulder. I fired three bursts, but only two of the shots clipped the target.

I started to swear a blue streak, but a voice from behind startled me. "You look like you're having trouble."

I whirled around and found Vilnius standing behind me, sniper rifle in hand. "What're you doing here? You don't need these classes."

"I just wanted to practice." He leaned to the right to look at my target. "But it seems like you're having a hard time."

"Yeah, well," I grumbled, "Not everyone got to have military training before this."

The turian seemed a little offended. "That's none of your business."

"And my performance is none of yours!" I snapped back. I immediately stopped and sighed. "Sorry, I just… Javern got me all wound up, and now I'm failing miserably at this. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"…well," he began cautiously, "if it would make you feel better, you seem to have far more technical expertise than I do. And you're learning how to handle a gun pretty well for a civilian."

I smiled. "Thanks. Most people would say I was learning well 'for a girl'".

His eyes went wide, and his mandibles lowered considerably. "You're female?"

…_what. I…. what? He- how could- what?!_

"…yeeesss. I would think that was fairly obvious." My voice was still even, but I couldn't shake the shock. I had been accused of being a great many things before, but male was never one of them.

He sounded like he was in shock too. "I-I… I didn't know, I haven't known enough humans to tell the difference and I guess I just assumed…"

There was a sudden awkward silence that lasted for a long time, up until I remembered that the class had a limited timeframe and I had to get back to practice. "Yes, well, it shouldn't really matter, so I'm just… gonna get back to what I was doing."

Vilnius nodded and walked down to a target on the other side of the range with his sniper rifle. I looked back at my target and tried to aim properly this time.

**December 7****th**

**09:48 OST**

The team, which after an enquiry to the sergeant was revealed to be team 36, was once again working in the maintenance bay. A new shipment of weapons had come in, and we had been assigned to the cataloging and sorting of its contents. Vilnius was given a crate of sniper rifles, Hyrn ended up with the pistols, and Javern was told to do the shotguns, leaving Brek and I to handle the assault rifles.

Brek had been alternating between glaring at me and ignoring my presence. I tried to ignore him in return, but it was difficult to ignore someone you had to cooperate with.

"Two more Mark IIs." I counted.

He grunted.

"Aaand a Mark V."

He grunted.

I stopped and looked at him. "You're capable of speaking in more than grunts. I remember our recruitment."

"I want you to shut up and die." His voice was utterly emotionless.

"…oookay then."

That wasn't terrifying _at all_.

**13:39 OST**

The rec room was just as loud and smelly as I had remembered it, with games, conversations, shows and who knows what else going on. The five of us were all seated at a table together, passing the time. Vilnius was cleaning his pistol, Hyrn was engrossed in a datapad, Javern was watching the people around us, Brek blankly stared at the table and I fiddled with the recently-hacked omni-tool on my right arm.

Things were still odd between us, but for the most part we were able to function as a team. I found myself often thinking of them as my team, even Javern who was frustrating as fuck and Brek who scared the shit out of me.

It must be that bond of brotherhood stuff that people say happens in the military. Despite knowing each other for only five days, we could just chill like this while waiting for another assignment. It was kinda nice.

The semi-pleasant atmosphere was broken when the sergeant came up to our table, carrying five datapads.

"I've got a contract for you."

**AN: I'm sorry. I did it again. These last two weeks were really busy 'cause school started up again, but I still feel horrible about it.**

**Anywho. Here's Infodump Part 2: Time Lapse Edition. Hope you like it. Drop by the pairing poll if you haven't already. And please, please review. It not only makes me really happy, but it helps me figure out what you, my readers, want. **

**Toodles, noodles.**


	19. Chapter 19

**December 7****th**

**13:43 OST**

The rec room was full of people sitting, standing, moving about and loitering. The furnishings were metal alloy and not the most comfortable, but there was no lack of seating in the room. The dozens of tables strewn about had holographic projectors capable of running most tabletop and card games, and the walls had screens for playing news feeds, TV shows, movies and video games. The noise coming from all of this was almost deafening and took some getting used to. More often than not there was food in the room, ordered from some nearby restaurant, the smell of which was distracting at best and nauseating at worst.

I usually had to make an effort to block all of the sensory input, but right now I was focused solely on what was in front of me.

The sergeant had handed each of us a datapad. Fingers itching with nervous excitement, I hastily scrolled thought the datapad's contents. It consisted of what looked like a real, legal contract, though mercifully shorter than most I had seen. It was just a set of mandates and rules for both parties, a small list of stipulations and a price at the bottom. Said price made my eyes widen.

One thousand credits each, plus ten thousand for the Blue Suns.

Sergeant Dyric was speaking again. "The client's name is Zyrrius Erikin. He's a turian businessman, pretty small-time but he's got some credits. He's arriving on Omega tomorrow for a meeting and he's contacted us to arrange for his security. That's where you come in." The tan, barefaced turian fixed us with a stern look. "You are to be there when he arrives and protect him for the duration of his stay."

Vilnius spoke suddenly, voice as flat as ever. "Does this Erikin have any enemies that we need to be aware of?"

"No, actually. As I said, he's not very important. All you really need to watch out for are muggers. If there was a potential threat, I would have asked a more experienced team. As it is, I don't think you guys could fuck this up too bad." The sergeant gave Vilnius an odd look. "Also, he specifically asked that the team we assigned had a turian on it. From the sound of it this guy hasn't gotten out of turian space much, he's not used to aliens."

Vilnius jerked back a little, but nodded. Javern looked disdainful. "Seriously? Our first job is escorting around some racist kurthda?"

I could recall being called a 'kurthda' a couple times before. There was apparently no direct translation for whatever it was, but I gathered that it cast doubts upon the recipient's courage or masculinity.

I shot my batarian teammate an unamused look. "For a thousand credits? Yes."

_I remember having to break into an Eclipse warehouse to make that kind of money before. Escorting a cowardly businessman with no known enemies for a day or two? Yes please._

Javern's answering look was heated and he opened his mouth like he was about to respond before the tan turian standing by our table interrupted. "As I said, he's arriving tomorrow at ten. Here's where you're going to meet with him." The sergeant brought up his omni-tool and sent an address to Vilnius, Hyrn, Javern and I, along with an image file. "He's going to be on the station for a day at most, but be prepared for anything. Also…" Our omni-tools blinked again. "There's your pay for the last few days." Sergeant Dyric flicked off his 'tool and looked us over. "Do this job right and you'll be seeing a lot more. If you have any questions, ask around." At that, he left.

I checked the credit transfer, which was apparently for two hundred and fifty credits. _Fifty credits per day? That's… reasonable, I guess. That'd be… 350 a week… 700 for two weeks… minus 200 for rent that'd be enough for food _and_ leave some spending money. Assuming I work every day, but by this setup I could afford to miss one or two days a week and still have enough to get by. And this job- _contract-_is 1000 credits for a day's work. _

_Holy crap. I might not have to just scrape by anymore._

That was a revelation. By this point I'd become used to the idea of living hand-to-mouth. The idea that I could have money left over was crazy.

I shook my head. _Focus._

The image file was a picture of a light gray turian with black colony markings. It took a moment for me to recognize them as from Palaven. It was logical to assume that this was our client. The coordinates he had given us appeared to be for a docking station at the far end of the district. I quickly thought out a timetable that would put me at that spot an hour before the given time, giving me plenty of time to talk to Taren for a bit and get some rest if I could beforehand. Vilnius' quiet voice interrupted my planning. "Does everyone know how to get to the location?" I nodded distractedly, still working out what route I wanted to take, and looked up at the other four people at the table after a second. Brek, in what I was quickly identifying as normal behavior, acted disinterested with the whole conversation. It looked like he hadn't even touched his datapad, and was instead focusing entirely on Javern. Javern studied his omni-tool before glancing at Vilnius and nodding. When the turian turned his attention to Hyrn the salarian hesitated before also giving a small nod, then went back to fiddling nervously with the datapad in his hands. Vilnius mirrored us with his own little nod, then continued speaking. "Alright. Let's meet up at the coordinates at 09:30, agreed?" Again, there was a round of affirmations. "See you then."

The two batarians wandered off after that without a word. I got up and briefly waved to Hyrn as I left as well. As I headed down the hallway to the exit, I heard someone calling my name behind me. I stopped and turned around to find Vilnius not too far behind me. He stopped short, seeming briefly uncertain, before stepping into conversational range.

I was startled, but I forced my tone to be even and polite. "Did you need something?"

"I- ah, no…" The dark-skinned turian stuttered and withdrew slightly, then suddenly stood up straight and rigid. His face showed none of the turian facial expressions I had come to learn and his voice was as unexpressive as the day I met him. "I wanted to apologize if my previous misunderstanding was in any way offensive. I have had very few dealings with humans in the past. I would prefer if this did not affect team cohesion."

I blinked in surprise, but shook my head. "…no, it's wasn't offensive. Confusing, but understandable. It won't affect the team."

"Good." After that short acknowledgement, Vilnius turned around swiftly and walked away.

_Well that was… odd._

I cleared the whole incident from my mind and returned my attention to scheduling.

The walk back to the apartments seemed shorter than usual; I was so deep in my own head that it was in no time at all that I was in the lobby. To my disappointment Taren was not there. His friend Reyik was sitting at the desk instead. The turian vaguely nodded to me, then did a quick double take. "What happened to your-"

I cut him off in a harsh voice. "Got in a fight." I was down the stairs before he could respond.

I went through the near-instinctual ritual of unlocking, opening, closing and locking my door, then peeled off my armor and curled up in bed. My alarm was set for 02:00, which would give me eight hours of sleep if I slept the whole time. I doubted I would, but decided to try anyways.

My body was tired but my brain was going a thousand miles a minute, a common ailment for me when trying to sleep. I couldn't remember how many times I had stayed up late into the night thinking about random stuff both good and bad. This was a fair share of both.

_On one hand, I might not have to worry about not having enough money. On the other…_

_What? I have to actually work? There is no downside to this. The probability of getting into a firefight during this contract is low._

_Yeah, _this _contract. And low does not equal non-existent. _

_I'm just being paranoid._

_Paranoia isn't all that unhealthy on Omega._

_Why can't I just accept this as a good thing?_

_Because good things don't just _happen_. Not here anyways. This job isn't a cakewalk. It's going to require fighting at some point, and killing. More blood on my hands, and for what?_

_For survival. For living to see that fucking 'task' I wasn't told about done so I can go home. What wouldn't I give for that? God…_

Even though I had stopped believing in the Christian God many years ago, I half-considered praying to him that I might go home soon. The ban I enforced on thoughts of family during the 'day' seemed to fade now that I was laying here in the dark, and doubts began to creep in.

_Would they even want me back after I told them everything? Even if they believed me and didn't chuck me in a mental hospital, would Mom still love me after all the shit I've done? Theft, murder, corpse-looting?_

_Of course she'd love me. She's Mom._

_I fucking tried to get a job at a brothel! Forget how disgusted _I _am about that, what about her?_

_She'd understand. They all would._

_I'm not the person they knew. _

…_it's time to stop thinking about this._

_Yep._

I laid there for a moment, searching through my head for something to think about, something not related to my family or current situation. After a while, I started to sing. I tried to sing a song from an anime that I liked and had made the effort of learning it in both English and Japanese, but doing the Japanese version had a strange result. In my head I was saying the lyrics in one language, but I was hearing them in another. To make matters worse it was providing a literal translation and not the lyrics of the English version, which meant the same thing but worded it differently so it actually felt like a song.

_Ki wo tsukete. Kami-sama wa miteru._

"Be careful, God is watching."

I carried on with the bizarre echo for a bit before I thought to remove my translator. I sat up and placed the small earpiece on a nearby shelf, then started again.

"Watashi ga oboeta nakutemo."

_There we go._

I laid there and sang for a while, eventually passing out.

**December 7****th**

**18:16 OST**

I was running through unlit corridors and alleyways, full-on sprinting. I needed to escape, get away, but there was nowhere to go. Everything was a murky grey; I couldn't see where I was heading or what I was running from. There were no paths left but forward.

I ran and ran and-

I jerked awake in my bed, sheet tangled around me and my heart pounding. I attempted to recollect what I had been dreaming about, but it slid through my mental fingers like smoke. All I knew was that I felt as tense as a bowstring and a little nauseous. I just laid there and took deep, gulping breaths for a bit before I got up and looked at the time.

_I slept for four hours. Figures._

I went about readying myself for the day, but that didn't take long. Before I knew it I was sitting on the cot again in full armor with eleven hours to go before the prearranged time. Taren likely wasn't awake at this point, and I had no idea if Lera was up or not. I didn't want to leave and probably end up missing Taren; I wanted to let him know what was up so he didn't worry.

Resigned to staying in my room for a while, I turned on my new omni-tool. It was a Chameleon model Mark II. It's previous owner hadn't changed the color from the default orange and I didn't know if I wanted to, but he'd done some customization with the layout that still disoriented me. Instead of arranging the buttons in a radial wheel like my original 'tool, this one grouped buttons into subcategories and rotated them individually. I had yet to find the program that caused it and it made finding things a hassle, so I avoided using the device when time was of the essence. It undoubtedly ran faster than the Cipher tool but I definitely didn't want to hit the wrong button on accident during a fight.

While searching through the program files in the hope of getting rid of that particular setting, I saw two filed I hadn't noticed before. They were titled 'proj-neur' and 'prog-bios'. When I opened the files it was immediately obvious that they were programs of some kind, written in a salarian programming language. Some of the terms were unfamiliar, but it was derivative enough from the language I used for me to make a guess as to their purpose. One of them was designed to overheat a biotic's amp, the other was supposed to emit a very specific electrical pulse on contact with an organic that would shock their nervous system. The neural shock program appeared to be unfinished, but the biotic dampener looked functional. I sent the two files over to my cyan omni-tool. I'd take a crack at finishing the neural shocker later.

Now I was left looking at my main omni-tool, wondering what to do next. I still had hours of waiting in front of me. I stared at the buttons hovering over my left hand for a while before I opened the extranet browser and typed in Bioware games.

There were plenty of results for 'games' and a few for 'bioware tech' but Bioware the game company did not exist, which I had kinda expected.

Next I tried looking up some other stuff I liked. The Elder Scrolls series was here, it had lasted nearly thirty years before finally petering off, and Minecraft was still being played to this day. Unfortunately Battlestar Galactica hadn't been made, which I figured might have had something to do with the geth. I was pleased to discover this also meant that Starship Troopers had never existed here, which was a great favor to the people of this universe. That movie was horrible. Breaking Bad, thankfully, was around. It ended at five seasons and was widely acclaimed as one of the best human TV shows of it's time. Several of the bands I liked were in existence but some weren't for what looked like no reason whatsoever, the same with books and movies.

I had a lot of my inquiries redirected to newer things that were unique to this universe, and some of them looked very interesting. There was an 'edgy and dramatic' show currently being aired called "Across the Line" about a hypothetical continuation of the First Contact War that was being produced by both human and turian groups and showed both sides in the conflict equally. It had a decent following in Citadel space, and I decided to give the pilot episode a try. The acting wasn't particularly good but the presentation of both human and turian cultures were very engaging and I was probably going to watch some more later.

I continued like that for a while, looking up media that I liked before and finding new things that I thought might be interesting. I hadn't taken the time before to look, I had always been occupied with training, stealing or otherwise working on something. Before I knew it I check the time and found out it was four o'clock.

_What the hell, six hours? I can't believe six hours just slipped by. Taren's definitely up by now._

I turned off my omni-tool, double checked my equipment and left my room, absentmindedly locking the door behind me. Taren was indeed up and sitting at the desk when I got there, focused intently on what was probably another novel.

I cleared my throat. He looked up and put the datapad aside. "Hey. Did you get some sleep?"

"Uh, yeah. I got some rest." I shifted uncomfortably. "How are you?"

Taren flicked his hands in an offhand gesture, one that I had figured as the batarian equivalent of a shrug. "I'm fine. It hasn't been very busy around here lately."

I thought back and recalled something from the day I started work with the Blue Suns. "Hm. Wasn't there a krogan here a few days ago?"

He blinked a couple times, then frowned. "Oh, yeah. It sounded like he's not staying long. He paid for two weeks and said he wouldn't be continuing the payment."

I nodded. The conversation lulled a bit and I sighed. "Um… I got a contract yesterday. I'm probably going to be busy for the next day or so. So… if I'm gone for a bit don't worry, okay?"

"A contract?" Taren leaned in and his voice got quieter. "Doing what?"

I tried to reassure him. "Nothing really important. I'll just be busy."

"Okay, but… be careful." He still seemed uneasy.

I smiled. "I was planning on it."

**December 8****th**

**09:38 OST**

Pacing was something I did without really thinking, often when I was waiting for something or when I needed to sort through my thoughts. Putting my body through repetitive motion freed my brain up to think about other things, such as the upcoming job.

We were at a busy thoroughfare that led out from the docking area, waiting for our client. This particular docking area was fairly clean, by Omega standards, with very little litter or graffiti and plenty of light. The foot traffic wasn't too bad, but there was a steady stream of hover vehicles flying overhead that made me nervous. I was pacing from a bench to an access terminal, measuring and spacing out my steps so they were even. I kept my gaze on the floor, but I was listening carefully and watching the surrounding area out of the corner of my eye. Across the narrow street Vilnius watched the stream of people passing by with eyes like a hawk Javern and Brek were sitting on a bench near him, quietly chatting. Hyrn sat on the bench I was pacing by, doing something with his teal omni-tool and occasionally casting glances at the crowd. The salarian seemed to have gone shopping recently, as he was wearing a suit of brown and green light armor.

As I made another circuit, a stray thought wriggled into the chaotic mash of worry, planning and hyperbole in my head. _If I keep at this, I'm going to wear myself out. I've gotten used to less sleep and food, but it's probably best if I try to conserve my energy._

Sighing a little, I brought myself around to the bench again and sat down next to my teammate, who gave me a sideways look before returning to his 'tool. Lacking better things to do, I attempted to strike up a conversation. "So, what are you up to?"

Hyrn lightly winced, but I took it as a good sign that it was considerably more restrained than how he reacted when I spoke to him only a few days ago. "L-Looking over blueprints. A-And thinking." His eyes flickered over to me. "W-What are you… u-up to?"

"Well, talking to you. How are the blueprints coming along? " Leaning forward, I was able to see a bit of the aforementioned blueprints. "They seem to be for a grenade."

The salarian's expression brightened a little. "O-Oh. Y-Yeah. I've… b-been working on them for a w-while." He hesitated, then brought his omni-tool closer so I could get a better look. His voice was still quiet, but sounded far steadier that normal. "They're supposed to s-stick on contact with inanimate objects or material and detonate when it detects motion within the blast r-radius."

"Trip mines? That's neat." _And very handy in a firefight_. "How did you get it to create the… uhh… um…" The words eluded me at the moment. "The programming? It has to be programmed, right? How'd you get it to make the computer hardware it needs to run? And how'd you get it on there?"

Hyrn blinked at me, wide-eyed, for a half a second before he understood what I was asking. "O-Oh. Ah, I scanned a basic CPU, really simple so i-it's small, and built around it. And I can send the program to it as I deploy it."

It was my turn to be wide-eyed. "That's… _really_ neat." I tried to make sense of the schematic, but as it was in a different language I had some difficulty. "How powerful is it? How many can you make?"

"W-Well, I have enough material on me now to make four of them. And they're pretty strong." He looked up at one of the flying cars going overhead with an evaluating expression. "C-Could take out a skycar, maybe."

On occasion I forgot why Hyrn was in the Blue Suns. It's not that I didn't respect him, but he often gave the impression of being harmless. It was times like these that I remembered. "That's frickin' _handy_. Good job."

He made a quiet noise and pulled his arm back closer to himself. Giving the trip mine schematic one last look, he turned off his omni-tool and began fidgeting with his hands, avoiding looking at me. "Thanks."

The conversation settled down again, and I looked him over. There was an improvement from how he'd looked only a few days ago. He seemed to have gotten some color back, and his leg was bouncing with unused energy. "You look better. More… healthy."

"O-Oh, um…" The green and beige salarian looked away again and idly tapped the tips of his fingers together. The abnormal firmness to his voice faded, and he started to stutter again. "Y-Yeah. I feel b-better." He paused, frowning for several moments before he spoke again. "M-My family… t-they weren't s-supportive at first, b-but we talked and… i-it helped. T-They helped m-me pick this a-armor."

_So, he has family on Omega. _It occurred to me as rather odd that he would be recovering so well from something that had happened almost a week ago, but then I remembered that salarians processed their emotions faster than other races. It was part of the trade-off for having short lifespans. They lived to be only 40, but they spent less time sleeping, solving problems or having emotional breakdowns. And now that he has his family's support, Hyrn would definitely be adapting faster.

"That's… good." An ugly feeling of jealousy started to grow in me, but I pushed it behind the mental glass wall that hid my other various traumas and instead focused on my honest desire for him to get past this. "I'm happy for you."

I started thinking about something else to talk about, but suddenly Hyrn broke through the silence. "S-So… um… a-are you… feeling b-better too?"

I crossed my arms across my chest, grabbing my elbows, and looked away. "Yeah, I guess. Better that how I was before, at any rate." I cast about my mind for something to say but something caught my eye, one of the disembarked passengers leaving the dock.

_Turian, light gray, black colony markings, well-dressed. This is our guy._

I nudged Hyrn and pointed our client out, then stood up. On the other side of the thoroughfare I saw Javern and Brek do the same. The team had discussed beforehand that Vilnius should approach him first, considering the information we had been given, and I watched as he intercepted Erikin on his way out of the dock.

"Zyrrius Erikin?" Vilnius' tone was blank as usual, but his subharmonics were more noticeable than before. _Maybe he's trying to put Erikin at ease?_

Erikin stepped back and looked from side to side, but he failed to notice the rest of us along the sides of the street. His mandible twitched slightly in what I thought was nervousness before he met Vilnius' gaze again. "…yes, that's me. And who might you be?"

"My name is Vilnius." His subharmonics grew even stronger, giving his voice a deep and almost melodious quality. "You hired my team from the Blue Suns for protection."

"Oh." Whatever it was that Vilnius was trying to do it was apparently working, because Erikin moved in a bit closer to him and gave him a nod. "Good to meet you, then." The lighter-colored turian's dual-layered voice was deepening as well, as though to match Vilnius'. Erikin glanced around again. "Is the rest of your team nearby?"

"Yes." Vilnius leant to the side and scanned the crowd as it navigated around the two. "We should probably move out of the street."

Erikin nodded again. "Alright. I need to get my meeting, after all."

**December 8****th**

**10:42 OST**

As we went from the docking area, the conditions of our surroundings deteriorated. The smell, the chaos and noise, the filth and darkness, I had gotten used to it all over the months. But there was something about being with other people that brought it back into my awareness. Maybe it was because Erikin was obviously shocked by it all. He openly gawked at the dirt-encrusted streets and graffiti-covered walls. He winced at the odd gunshot and recoiled at the stench emanating from the alleyways. The rest of my team didn't show any signs of being surprised, but we all had our helmets on so it was difficult to gauge their reactions.

According to our client we were heading to Tuhi District, which I had been to a handful of times. It was more of a commercial area than the relatively residential Gozu District, and I had tried to get a job at some of the shops there. To get there we were taking a different route than I had used that passed through Fumi District, which I knew nothing about.

We travelled in an unfamiliar sort of formation that Vilnius had insisted upon. He was at the head of it, with Erikin following closely behind. Hyrn was also near the front, as the client had seemed the most comfortable with him out of all of us, while Javern, Brek and I trailed behind.

I supposed I could see the reasoning in the setup, it put Erikin at ease while having some eyes on their backs, but it also left me with Javern and Brek. They were ignoring me for the most part, but I was still on edge. I walked a bit apart from them, and was careful to make no indication that I was watching them.

After several minutes of walking Javern sighed and muttered, "Why is this guy even here? He doesn't seem the type to have a meeting on Omega. Not a slaver or drug lord, so why?"

Brek 's response was too quiet for me to hear. Whatever he'd said earned a bark of laughter.

"Gods willing! I was hoping our first job would be something important. Not babysitting a turian kurthda." Javern stretched his neck and glanced down at the gun attached to his waist. I found myself actually a bit curious as to what a 'kurthda' was, but I stayed quiet.

"Maybe we could start a fight." I had to strain to hear Brek's low voice, but I caught it this time.

Javern's wrists flicked in the 'shrug' gesture I'd seen Taren use not too long ago. "Nah. We'd probably get in trouble with the sergeant. That guy's way too uptight."

I couldn't pick up on what Brek had said next, and whatever it was must have been interesting because Javern nearly stopped mid-step and turned to look at his friend. He was silent for a while, then spoke in a soft tone. "You don't need to fix everything with violence, Brek. I know that…" His voice faltered. "…I…I get it, okay? But things aren't always like that."

Brek didn't respond. The two walked in an awkward silence after that, leaving me to my thoughts. I wasn't really sure what to think of all that, and eventually I decided that I didn't have to think anything of it as it wasn't my business.

The rest of the trip to the meeting location went oddly well. A few people eyed Erikin, but when they caught sight of the five armed and armored people with him they backed off.

The location was a fairly nice restaurant, certainly nicer than I had eaten in since coming here. It was clean and well-lit, had nice furnishings, it even had a waiter. There were also a few guards in the place, who gave us sharp looks as we came in. Erikin pointed out the person he was here to meet, a thin, lilac-colored asari, and Vilnius quietly directed us to stand watch around the entrance to the place. I ended up waiting outside with Hyrn and Brek, watching a stream of people go by.

After what felt like almost half an hour sounds of crashing and shouting came from inside the building, then gunshots.

**AN: Oh. My. God.**

**Over a month.**

**Sorry won't cut it anymore. I feel awful.**

**Seriously, guys, I didn't mean to leave this off for so long. A paper for my English class snuck up on me, only five pages and pretty simple by college standards but still important, so that took precedence. Then other stuff happened.**

**I did spend a great deal of time thinking about this fic and working things out. For instance, figuring out the backstories and personalities of the team. There are reasons people behave the way they do. Every action that I wrote for them I took into account their mentality and life experiences. And [Confession Time!] I didn't know for sure why Dream had sent me/her to the Mass Effect universe until about a week ago. Now I know, without a shadow of a doubt. So, that's handled.**

**Let's just say that it fits well with both the cannon of the Sandman universe and the overall theme of this story.**

**This chapter's a little bit longer than usual. I know it won't make up for it, but I tried. Also, somewhat unintentional cliffhanger.**


	20. Bonus Chapter 2: Domestic

**[BONUS CHAPTER 2: DOMESTIC]**

WARNING: Third-Person Objective perspective only ahead!

Events occur within roughly the same timespan.

Written to: "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage. Lyrics are depressing, but overall tone matches.

**December 6****th**

The three-level house was filled with energy and activity as it's eleven inhabitants bustled about, some working others attempting to clean the truly monstrous amount of mess caused by having so many people living in one space. The interior was decorated erratically, with a wide variety of furnishings from the bare-bone alloy to the thickly padded and each piece a different color. The walls had been left a dull gray, as though its denizens couldn't agree on a color scheme. Random artworks were scattered about in no particular order, and nearly every surface had a potted plant of some kind. The temperature of the dwelling would have been uncomfortably warm and humid for a human but for the salarians that lived in it, it suited them just fine.

One salarian in particular, a tall male with a beige coloring and simple but clean clothes, was standing by the front door tapping his foot and glancing at his omni-tool every once in a while. His waiting was rewarded as his target came in through the door.

"Hyrn! You said you'd get your chores done before you left!"

The beige and green salarian known as Hyrn jumped a little at being greeted like that. "I-I-I thought I-I did."

The taller salarian gestured upwards angrily. "Well, you didn't! Your bed was an absolute mess! And it looks like you destroyed another set of sheets!"

"O-Oh." Hyrn's orange eyes got wider. "U-Um. I-I was g-going to be l-lat-"

"-late to that damn job you didn't even ask permission for!" Some of the others in the house stopped what they were doing and watched, but most didn't. This was not an unusual occurrence in this household.

Hyrn flinched and looked down. "I-I… I-I'm s-sorry. I-I'll go c-clean it u-up."

"No, you won't, because Iren already did it for you!" At this point the older salarian looked apoplectic with rage. As he opened his mouth to say something else, another member of the household stepped up and lightly touched him on the shoulder. This salarian was a very light crème color with red facial tattoos.

"Kiin, lay off him."

"Why? All he is, is trouble! Since the day the dalatrass at Mannovai stuck him with us, he's been nothing but a problem!" Hyrn seemed to retreat even more at those words.

The lighter-colored salarian's voice brokered no argument. "Kiin, go sit down. You've had a stressful day. Don't take it out on family."

Kiin glared at the other salarian, but he eventually left the room. The rest of the family settled back down to whatever they had been doing before. Hyrn looked at his feet and shifted uncomfortably. "T-Thanks, I-Iren."

Iren smiled and patted the younger salarian on the shoulder, who repressed a light wince. "It's okay. He's had a stick up his cloaca today, something gone wrong at work or something." He stopped, frowning, and looked Hyrn over. "How about you? How was work?"

Hyrn's gaze finally left the floor, and he glanced briefly between Iren's face and his chest. "U-Umm. O-Okay. S-Some of my t-teammates got into an a-argument, but I-I didn't get i-involved."

Iren nodded and let his hand slide off of Hyrn's thin shoulder. His eyes focused on something far away for a moment, and then he sighed and looked at the fidgeting Hyrn again. "Hyrn… about all this, Blue Suns business…" Hyrn seemed to stiffen at that, but Iren plowed on. "I won't say that I think it's a good idea, but if this is what you choose to do then I'm not going to stop you. You're eight now, an adult, you can make your own decisions." Shocked orange eyes finally met Iren's green eyes and the older male smiled again. "Just remember that if you need any help, you can always come to one of us." Hyrn nodded, and Iren started to walk away. He stopped midway, and turned back with a grimace. "Oh, and if you could leave your work at work from now on, that'd be great. I'm really not partial to the smell of burnt sheets."

Hyrn's mouth twitched slightly upwards. But as the eight year old salarian looked around at the chaotic place he called home, full of people who were more likely to agree with Kiin than Iren, the small smile faded to be replaced with the look of being rather lost.

* * *

A three room apartment sat in darkness and silence. The first room was a kitchen-slash-livingroom, with some dingy furnishings and old but functional appliances. A few scattered personal belongings could be seen, but otherwise it was bare. The second room was a small bathroom, mildly dirty. The last was a bedroom, with two beds on opposite walls and a dresser in between. The beds were rumpled and unmade, but the laundry was carefully sorted and folded.

The darkness and silence was broken by the door opening and two male batarians walking in, carrying bags of food. One was shorter and slighter than the other, with dark brown skin and red tattoos over each eye. The other was bulkier and was a pale green, with a scar over his top right eye. The pair headed to the kitchen and dumped their load onto the counter. The smaller of the two was talking heatedly.

"-and she just kept talking about how _wrong_ slavery was and how _we_ should change and Gods above I just wish she'd fall off a building or something! Aghh…" The frustrated batarian rubbed his scalp as he glared down at the groceries. "…I don't even know where to put half of this stuff."

The pale batarian, who hadn't made a sound the entire time, grabbed a few bottles and moved to put them in a cupboard, which caused the more talkative one to give a start and move to intercept him. "Woah, hey. I'm gonna figure it out, okay? Why don't you go sit down for a while, Brek?" The one known as Brek looked uncertain, still holding the bottles. The brown-skinned male gave him a mild glare. "We agreed. I'm in charge of the kitchen, you're in charge of laundry."

Brek blinked, then spoke in a quiet and slow voice. "I can put things away, Javern."

Javern momentarily frowned, but then his face became slightly annoyed again. "Yeah, but if I'm going to be working in here I need to know where everything is. If you go and put the stuff away, then _how_ am I going to find it? Go sit down."

Brek still looked unsure but he nodded, put down the bottles and sat down in one of the chairs. Javern turned his back to his friend and looked around the kitchen, his face bearing the same expression of being utterly lost.

After a moment, Javern began to work. Mutters and mild curses could be heard from the kitchen while Brek sat in his chair and idly inspected his recently acquired pistol, occasionally giving Javern covert glances. Fourteen minutes later, the smaller batarian heaved a sigh. "Well, that's all of it then." He looked over at Brek and smiled. "So, what do you want for dinner?"

Said pale green male thought about it for a few seconds, then flicked his hands.

Javern's smile gave way to a frown. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then snapped it closed. He turned to scan the kitchen and then looked over his friend again. After a short silence, he spoke. "How about kikali?" He walked to one of the far cabinets and pulled out a package. "You've had kikali, right?"

Brek took a moment to ponder that. "No. What's kikali?"

That made Javern freeze in place, just as he was about to open the package. "You haven't heard of kikali? How could you-" He abruptly cut off, and a look of pained realization came across his face. He put the bag down and braced himself on the counter, then took in a breath and exhaled slowly. His voice was soft as he explained. "Kikali's a batarian dish, it was pretty common back on Erszbat. It's kinda like… umm… small, shaped pieces of kurthda meat, with some noodles and stuff." Javern paused for a response, but none was forthcoming so he continued talking and he began opening the bag again. "I had it a lot as a kid. There was a place nearby that made the meat into letter shapes. This one time, Koemi started spelling out curse words in hers. Dad was so mad…" His expression drifted from one of vague nostalgia into a detached, blank look, and he trailed off.

Brek, who had been quietly listening with fascination, broke though his trance. "I'd like to try it."

Javern blinked in surprise, and whipped around to examine Brek's face. Seeing his sincerity, the tattooed batarian broke into a grin.

* * *

Skycar lights flickered from a small window, illuminating the room. The reasonably-sized studio apartment looked practically deserted. It was sparsely furnished, with one chair, a table, cupboard, dresser, a restroom area and a bed. Everything was spotless, as thought it existed in a different star system from Omega. The bed was meticulously made, the floor shining as though recently polished, the sink and toilet gleaming in the gloom. No personal effects could be seen. It was as if no one lived there.

This was proven incorrect when the door opened and a turian holding a small bag came in. He was a bit short by turian standards but he had a strong, lean build. His skin was a dark gunmetal gray, with bright white colony markings. Coal-colored eyes searched the room for any discrepancies before he closed the door behind him. As it sealed and locked, the turian's carefully blank facial expression melted into one of exhaustion and he slumped against the door. He stayed there for a while, sitting in the dark. Studying the immaculate floor, he shook his head and snorted in response to a thought only he could hear.

A while later, he stood up and went to the table in the center of the room. He put down the bag in his hands first. Then he started taking off his guns and putting them on the table in very specific positions, as though there were outlines of where they should be on the surface. Once that was done, he sat down and opened the bag, revealing a basic dextro-amino meal. The turian ate quickly and disposed of the bag before returning to the table of guns. He went through each, cleaning and performing maintenance with an almost robot-like efficiency. All too soon, that was done as well. The young turian stared blankly at his weapons, then slowly scanned the room. Nothing caught his interest.

For several minutes the dark turian stared off into space, deep in thought. He looked over the room again, this time really taking in the barrenness of his surroundings. He blinked, and a slightly lost expression fell over his face.

Slowly, he brought up his left arm to face-level, orange omni-tool active and bright in the dark. The black-eyed male searched the extranet for a while before settling on something. He brought up a video titled "Across the Line – Pilot" and pressed play.

**AN: I felt horrible. And I felt inspired. The two coincided to create this.**

**When Chapter 20 gets made and published, I'll add this to the bottom of it for neatness' sake.**


End file.
